Its Been Three F***ing Weeks!

OP

maag101

Why is it impossible?

because a lot of friendships seem to be forming and if I go up to people they will see me as somewhat intrusive.

Reply 5

alexdg

8

Best thing is ask a few people out for a drink together...

if you cant speak to anyone at all then your gona have a problem!

Reply 6

alexdg

8

Best thing is ask a few people out for a drink together...

if you cant speak to anyone at all then your gona have a problem!

Reply 7

Maybe people would want to talk to you if you started using apostrophes and stopped using profanities. I don't know...

You seem like quite an aggressive person. Maybe that comes across in the way you act around people.

Reply 8

Squelchy

Apricot Fairy

Maybe people would want to talk to you if you started using apostrophes and stopped using profanities. I don't know...

I'm not sure he should want to be friends with people who would predicate their choice of prospective friendships upon the potential candidates' use of apostrophes.

Reply 9

OP

Apricot Fairy

...stopped using profanities. QUOTE]

It got your attention didn't it?

Reply 10

Squelchy

I'm not sure he should want to be friends with people who would predicate their choice of prospective friendships upon the potential candidates' use of apostrophes.

I'm not sure I'm all that bothered by the opinions of people who can't spot the sarcasm dripping from that sentence. Whatever floats your boat.

Reply 11

Anonymous

It got your attention didn't it?

Mmm, but not in a good way. Maybe it gets other people's attention too, and not in a good way, which is why they go off to make friends with people who are more friendly and approachable.

Reply 12

OP

I used it so you could, perhaps understand my frustration.

And no, I'm not an aggressive person despite how I have just come across as!

Reply 13

maag101

1

Anonymous

because a lot of friendships seem to be forming and if I go up to people they will see me as somewhat intrusive.

Okay, here are some ideas that seems to be working for me,

a) join a society. The people in them become quite close knit and are like a ready made group of friends. Plus you all have something in common (a sport, a particular subject, a liking of X etc)

b) make a point of sitting down next to somebody that you don't know in your lecture, maybe someone that is on their own (and therefore probably in the same boat as you) and starting a conversation - "So, is this your main subject? where are you from? where are you staying? What do you think of the course so far? Do you want to meet up for coffee half an hour before the next lecture?" Arrive early so that you actually have time to talk to the person.

c) talk to people in queues. You may think that it isn't worth it because you'll only see them for five or ten minutes, but you never know, you might see them again at a lecture or in the bar or something. This happened to me, I was chatting away to this girl while waiting in line to sign up for the doctors and when I left I didn't think I'd see her again. Turns out she's doing my course and is in my tutorial group. And we get on really well. If I hadn't spoken to her in the doctors, I might never have met her (because there are like 200 people doing my course) and I would be down a friend.

Be open, be inviting. Make the effort. It's still the beginning of the year and most people are still trying to make as many friends as they can.

Reply 14

ChocolatePie

It suxs that you didnt succeed yet in making new friends. Still i think it is not impossible to make new friends. Your in school/uni/college?? and you have a lot of people around you from your age. Think of making projects together with classmates. Doing a team sport etc....You can start to learn eachother and in that way make friends. Or just invite some people over for a drink..i am sure you will find friends!

ciao ChocolatePie

Reply 15

maag101

1

Apricot Fairy

Mmm, but not in a good way. Maybe it gets other people's attention too, and not in a good way, which is why they go off to make friends with people who are more friendly and approachable.

Anonymous

I used it so you could, perhaps understand my frustration.

And no, I'm not an aggressive person despite how I have just come across as!

Come on people! Break it up!

Reply 16

General Mullet

I doubt he says F*** off to people who approach him...

Reply 17

Squelchy

Apricot Fairy

I'm not sure I'm all that bothered by the opinions of people who can't spot the sarcasm dripping from that sentence. Whatever floats your boat.

I'm not sure anybody at all is interested in your opinions about anything, ever, you startlingly obnoxious little girl.

Reply 18

Anonymous

I used it so you could, perhaps understand my frustration.

And no, I'm not an aggressive person despite how I have just come across as!

Frustration can often come across as aggression though. To be honest, it's quite common not to have made any proper friends three weeks into uni. When I think about the people I'm friends with at uni, I don't think I'd even met any of them three weeks in. For the first couple of months I just socialised with people from halls, and then I found people on my course and in societies that I liked better, and now I only really talk to two or three people I knew in halls. You really do just have to go up to people and start talking to them. Turn to the person sitting next to you in a lecture and start chatting. Ask them what they thought of the lecture. See if they want to get a coffee with you afterwards. Friends won't fall into your lap. You have to make the effort. Get actively involved in things and it will happen naturally, for example, if you join a sports society you will have to work in a team with people, and you'll get to know them. Or get involved with a music group, or a drama production, or the uni newspaper. Just find something you're interested in, and you'll find people you have things in common with.

Reply 19