Turn on thread page Beta
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by crema)
    Exactly, you won't get friends in 3 weeks, it takes a considerable time before someone is your real friend. But keep your head up though OP, eventually you will find friends, in the mean time try to keep yourself busy by joining societies and sport clubs and exposing yourself to as many new people as possible and make an effort. Talk to people, talk to groups, invite yourself along if you have to. Look approachable and happy, fake it if you have to, and maybe someone will come and talk to you.
    ^^ Best advice in this thread. Have to come back and rep tomorrow.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    It's only impossible if you're lazy and expect people to come to you. Talk to the people in you're lectures and in around your accomodation, you'll see them every day. Talk to people in the library taking your subject. It's not hard. You're complaining after 3 weeks? You give in waaay too quickly x
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    Well as others have said it don't happen after 3 weeks, it's took me like a year just to get a couple of friends at uni, so there's no need to panic.
    • #4
    #4

    Hmm, I wouldn't reccommend this approach, but I made out with a girl at the first party, and I'd say she's now my best friend (with absolutely no wierd sexual tension obv!).
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    ok do what ive done although im not there yet. But by the way dont forget the friendships you had before took time to develop. It cant come tsraight away. Talk to someone randomly then try and find something in common, then take their number and text. Sometimes you'lll get no replies and other times you might get someone saying-im going to the bar. Maybe get a job in the uni like leaflets. if catered sit at random peoples tables.

    do usual qs-where you lived before, course, name, staying, like it here, plans, fave place, where they want to go (say youl go with them or something)hope it helps
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Step 1: Stop acting like a complete loser.
    Step 2: See step 1.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Its impossible to live in halls and not make friends they may not be your friends at the end of the year but they will be at the start and if you don't live in halls (what were you thinking?) there must be people on your course you can talk to.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Societies, societies, societies! We don't say it to offer crappy advice but because it's true!!!! Also, take your time with people, I often find getting to know people hard but if you keep persevering you get there. Just be yourself in an open, honest and friendly way-be approachable, ask questions, listen to people and smile!!!!!
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Root)
    Societies, societies, societies! We don't say it to offer crappy advice but because it's true!!!! Also, take your time with people, I often find getting to know people hard but if you keep persevering you get there. Just be yourself in an open, honest and friendly way-be approachable, ask questions, listen to people and smile!!!!!
    That's true i met my wonderful new housemates at a club, i'm happier with them than i was with the last lot.
    • #5
    #5

    my first post and im wondering if i can have others opinions, as i have a problem on almost identical lines to this topic.

    is it weird to be scared of people? r u urself scared of other people and if so in what way? i dont mean an abstract feeling of being shy, but for example, when you walk past a person in the street do you ever get thought in your head that they are about to stab u? Again i was in the lift the other day and this guy was 2, just me and him, and i started thinking that if he started a fight with me, what would i do.

    these things happen alot to me and i box as a way of protecting myself should my fears occur. this obvously results in me not enjoying meeing new people or being in groups as im constantly on edge and on guard. my girlfreind says these things are not normal and so im asking you lot to give your opinion. Am i just having normal thoghts?

    thanks
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Again i was in the lift the other day and this guy was 2...
    Not sure I understand, you were scared of a 2 year old?
    • #5
    #5

    no, not 2 years old silly! i meant it was just us "two", sorry. Any thoughts?, as its getting me down quite abit

    thanks
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    It does seem like a strange attitude to have. Has something in the past triggered this?
    • #5
    #5

    wel i havent thought bout it much until i got to uni as i guess the attitude you have is the 1 u assume everyone else has. but yes i think probably ive been exposed to abit more violence when i was a kid than the average. im uite popular among my home friends, its just coming to uni has got me down and so has made me reflect on my attitudes etc. Any constructive advice? as i feel abit isolated without my old support network
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    wel i havent thought bout it much until i got to uni as i guess the attitude you have is the 1 u assume everyone else has. but yes i think probably ive been exposed to abit more violence when i was a kid than the average. im uite popular among my home friends, its just coming to uni has got me down and so has made me reflect on my attitudes etc. Any constructive advice? as i feel abit isolated without my old support network
    You need some time to settle in my dear and trust the place you are living if that makes sense. You're moved out your comfort zone and into a place which I'm guessing is completely different from home and that includes the people.

    I'm not going to lie there are bad people out there who could do those terrible things but worrying about it won't stop it happening and when it doesn't happen you've just stressed yourself out for no reason! My advice is to take deep breaths when these thoughts arise and realise that it is you who is triggering these thoughts and so you must stop thinking about them and relax.

    Root xx
    • #5
    #5

    thanks root, its just that i find it hard to do that when it happens, and i dont seem to notice them occuring, they just seem normal to me but also leave a sour feeling which puts me off certain situation and especially socialisng in big groups
    thanks and anything else would be great
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    thanks root, its just that i find it hard to do that when it happens, and i dont seem to notice them occuring, they just seem normal to me but also leave a sour feeling which puts me off certain situation and especially socialisng in big groups
    thanks and anything else would be great
    Oh yeah, it requires an incredible amount of mental discipline and you won't be able to do it straight away but persevere with dealing with it and you'll get there
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Another thing is, what is everyone's definition of friend? I have plenty people to talk to, but no one that I would call a friend. I often find that the term is used far too losely, which is why a lot of people end up getting others down by bragging about how many "friends" they have made.
    Yeah, I think this is a point people miss too often.

    There are loads of people who I can talk to, watch football with, watch Neighbours with, go clubbing with, go for drinks with, cook with, get the bus with, go shopping with, chat to, laugh with, etc, etc but I still feel like I don't have any really close friends.

    I'm coming up to the end of week three and I'm starting to have deeper conversations with people. I wish these had happened sooner but I think these things come with time.

    And, for what it's worth, I think this is a fairly common feeling among the other freshers I've spoken to.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 12, 2006
Poll
Black Friday: Yay or Nay?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.