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    Just a couple of days before the hand in date for the coursework, and I'm desperately trying to improve it.

    I have attatched it to the post, so if anyone is interested in D-Day, or just simply in helping yours truly, please provide comments on how it could be improved.

    Comments on the structure of the argument, analysis of the sources, interpretation and general quality will be greatly welcomed. Cheers.
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    right, i'll give you a little piece of advice... now i didn't even bother reading it - simply scrolling down the pages revealed no bibliography and footnoting/referencing. if you want to get above a C grade you need to present a piece of work as a historian i.e. referenced properly. it is not sufficient to simply put quotes in - you need to show where you found the quotes, when they where made etc. if you need help with footnoting just ask...
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    Use a different font, Times New Roman for example.
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    I'll read it if you tell me when the hand in date is. I'm just doing mine today too. I've lost all the sheets with deadlines etc. Thanks. I'll read it first then help you. I just need to know this deadline.
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    Okay, you need:

    Footnotes : Name of book, date published, author, publisher, page
    Bilbliography/web site listing (at end)
    To number every 100 lines/words (I can't remember!!) I think lines though.

    Your analysis seems good but what grade did you get first? Maybe you need more sources. It's Allies' dominance etc too. You should use sources for everything, I think your intro is too long and you say too much before using sources. Make sure they say the point you want to make.

    "t’s also important to note that the Allies dominance in the air led to the severe weakening of German morale, leading the Luftwaffe staff to acknowledge that "the outstanding factor both before and during the invasion was the overwhelming air superiority of the enemy.” As much as the Allied"

    Check your capitals inside quotes. You can paraphrase and use 'and...' etc.

    You have to say where you got every source from, the one above has no author stated, or at least its not clear. Try and get a quote from German's or another source about an actual decline in German morale (eg 'our troops were disheartened today after the aerial bombardment.'). Here's mine, I'd like to get it rated too as I have no idea how bad it is:
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    (Original post by jonnymcc2003)
    Just a couple of days before the hand in date for the coursework, and I'm desperately trying to improve it.

    I have attatched it to the post, so if anyone is interested in D-Day, or just simply in helping yours truly, please provide comments on how it could be improved.

    Comments on the structure of the argument, analysis of the sources, interpretation and general quality will be greatly welcomed. Cheers.
    Thanks, looks like I've got my first AS/A-level History essay done.
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    You have to find out where the sources come from though. And you CHEAT!!! I hope you feel very bad

    Can someone just enlighten me as to when the deadline is? Ta.
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    I didn't include the footnotes incase someone tried to yank it off as their own.

    Any other advice would be welcomed.
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    You need to have a few more paragraphs in there - it's quite scary to look at! Also ( I've only scanned though it by the way) you seem to have a lot of narration in there. Try starting each paragraph with the the point you want the paragraph to make eg. " The Allies utilisation of their aerial dominance before the landings had a significant impact on the outcome. " Then go on to illustrate why.
    Also you need to work on the conclusion - " As shown" is not a strong sentence starter for your last point, for example. Ending with a quote would be quite nice?
    Hope that helps..
 
 
 

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