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Would you still be friends with someone if they are horrible to others?

Like for no good reason as long as they were fine with you. Personally I wouldn't as it's not a characteristic I want in a friend.

Definitely not.

Yes ... I've been friends with quite a lot of people like this and it doesn't really bother me.

I already am

Nope.

If someone has the ability or capacity to be like that with someone, what makes you immune from it in the future?

Reply 5

Mequa

In a sense, the answer would depend how horrible the people were to them first. If a person being horrible to others was actually giving as good as they got, then that is a whole different ball game to if they were being horrible to people for no good reason. One good example of this would be how someone might treat a waiter at a restaurant. If they treat them with contempt as if they are a lesser being, then that's a clear red flag for narcissisic traits.

If the person's nastiness is clearly uncalled for, then no, I would not want to be friends with them. I would not be able to trust them not to turn on me eventually. I would also find it very hard to like them as a person. I despise bullying and cattiness. Usually a really horrible person's nastiness does not stop at simply treating others poorly to their face, but to malicious gossip, lies, slander, and general manipulation of social dynamics in a premeditated way in order to hurt people they don't like. The usual product of several horrible people is a mob mentality, a nasty little clique of backbiters and spiteful bullies happy to gang up on anyone the "cool" kids in the group don't like.

I have met many people like this, and in my experience they are pretty much guaranteed to turn on me unless I resist the (rather pro-social) urge to call them out on their bull****.

Reply 6

starlight4711

Even if my friend treats others badly without a reason (apparently), I personally would think there must be something which is causing him/her to act in this way. So, I would talk to my friend first, try to understand. As my friend is treating me well, I would believe that he/she has a good side to him/her. It may be some psychological thing, it may be something in his/her upbringing. If in that case, I leave that person, that person would become worse. It may be that I am the only person my friend trusts. It may be that he/she is horrible to others because of some past experiences, coming to the conclusion that everyone is bad, therefore justifying his/her behaviour as a 'defence'.
It's not simple to end a true friendship just like that. If I feel, that my friend's behaviour is just an act of schadenfreude, then I might think differently. I would still think: Why am I an exception?
Thankfully, I haven't experienced that so far.

Reply 7

Uw0tm8_

Some of my friends are bitchy and I love them.

Reply 8

joker12345

Yeah, definitely. Probably an unpopular opinion, but if they're specifically nice to me but not other people they really like me. If anything, it'd make me feel special.

Reply 9

joker12345

Original post by KadeK

Nope.

If someone has the ability or capacity to be like that with someone, what makes you immune from it in the future?

The same reason you are currently immune to it?

Reply 10

Mindless Behavior

I'd be friends with them but I doubt they'd want to be friends with me because I'd constantly call them out on it.

I already am.

No. If I had a friend was being cruel or horrible to someone, I would call them out on it. If the other person was being just as horrible back and there was some history between them, then that would be different.
But I can't be friends with someone who makes nasty catty remarks or just acts nasty to other people for no reason. It would make me like them less as a person.

Reply 13

yo radical one

Yes

I can deal with people who are generally mean and moody, I can deal with people who are lovely and kind, what I cannot deal with, is those people who are really nice and sycophantic towards people they perceive as socially above them, but if someone else seems maybe a little bit lower than them socially, they treat them like absolute dirt. I can't stand people like that.

Reply 14

gemmam

No. I hung around with people like that in my teens and they ended up turning to me or their other friends later on. Now I wouldn't feel comfortable being around someone who was horrible for no reason even if they were fine towards me; I find it irritating and unnecessary.

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Reply 15

moment of truth

Nah I wouldn't.

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Yeah

Original post by joker12345

The same reason you are currently immune to it?

I did say "the future" for a reason :smile:

The fact of the matter is, friends have their "ups and downs". If the OP went through a rough patch with a friend (who was already horrible to others for no apparent reason), it's not illogical to suggest that he/she would experience the same type of behaviour from the said friend.

Reply 18

aoxa

It depends if they had a reason to be horrible to others.

If I'm horrible to someone, it's because they've wronged me in the past, and my friends don't have issues with this. However, if someone is horrible without reason, then I couldn't be friends with someone like that, because they're more likely to turn on you for no reason.