Is this ok or wrong? Opinions please

Right, well im posting as anonymous as people i know use this site.

Well basically 2 of my friends have just started going out, the problem is that shes 15 (recently) and hes nearly 21. This is illegal!
Do you see this as wrong? :confused:

I feel strange when i see them togeather!

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

also they are family friends and the parents dont know as they will go mad.

Reply 2

Squelchy

Yeah, that's creepy/weird/sick/wrong.

Reply 3

dh00001

16

its not illegal for them to go out, just do anything sexual, i think :confused:

i think its weird and hes propbably only doing it for "bragging rights" but each to their own i suppose

Reply 4

Nonsmoking

12

Well, it's only illegal if they are indulging in 'sexual' activity. But tbh, although soc. services should technically look into it being as there is a +5 year age gap, given that she's 15 they might well not bother.

Obv if he's taking advantage, nail his ass!

In a metaphorical sense..

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

i know for a fact that they are performing sexual acts on each other, but havnt had sex yet.

Reply 6

Evil-Tuna

2

There have been bigger age gaps than that. The only reason its a concern might be sexual activity and she is still technically a child whilst hes an adult. But its more or less okish probs.

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

yet bizarrely, if it went on for 4 more years noone would think twice about it

Reply 8

Anonymous #3

I don't have a problem with this, in principle. As long as the intentions are true and noble, and he is not using her (or indeed, her using him) for sex/status etc, then why not. At 15, someone is probably emotionaly mature enough to take responsibility for their body and heart. They may not make a huge success of it, but they are old enough for it to be their business and no-one elses. If she was dating a 25 year old, or older, one might have a legitimate issue with the principles of it. But can anyone rationalise why this is wrong? Men mature (emotionaly) later than women, so he might be just the right age for her in that respect. If she was any younger, then her ability to take responsibility, use her judgement and be held accountable for her actions may be called into question, as it is very easy to be carried away by one's illusion of love, especialy when one does not have much experience.

When I was 15, I was with a 17 year old. When I was 17, I was with a 24 year old, when I was 18, I was with a 44 year old. Was I used? Abused? Taken advantage of? No. Sure, you do get bad eggs, but really, it is not very healthy to go through life looking for problems, scared to explore.

Reply 9

Fluent in Lies

2

From what you've said FiL says it's ok.

Reply 10

high priestess fnord

9

wierd but depends on the people involved as to wether its wrong

Reply 11

Shockley

15

Anonymous

when I was 18, I was with a 44 year old.

Sugardaddeeeeeeeeeee :biggrin:

Reply 12

Apollo

11

Seems a bit wrong to me tbh, there are tons of people her age out there.

Reply 13

tinkerbellejess

13

You've just got to wonder why he wants to be with someone so much younger when it's illegal for them to do anything! Or is that part of the fantasy...?

Reply 14

floss

it is possible that the guy has true feelings for her..

how far off 16 is she?! i think it may be an idea for them to come clean at that time, just not actually say how long they've been together maybe..

Reply 15

Shreerac1

10

Step 1: Stop acting like a complete loser.
Step 2: See step 1.

Reply 16

LadyEnglish

2

That is a tad strange (Understating here) Maybe you could tell your parents in confidence and ask them what they think if they're not the type of parents to tell other parents...Or talk to her, ask if she really wants to be with him and where their relationship will go. If she says 'I'll be 16 soon so it will be fine' ask if she honestly sees the relationship lasting that long...Or let their relationship run it's course, i can't imagine it will last long x

Reply 17

tinkerbellejess

13

LadyEnglish

That is a tad strange (Understating here) Maybe you could tell your parents in confidence and ask them what they think if they're not the type of parents to tell other parents...Or talk to her, ask if she really wants to be with him and where their relationship will go. If she says 'I'll be 16 soon so it will be fine' ask if she honestly sees the relationship lasting that long...Or let their relationship run it's course, i can't imagine it will last long x