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I Need Help (ignore if you can't be bothered reading)
I don't really know where to begin...basically I think I have a drink problem, I've been drinking since I was 13 years old, practically everyone in my family drinks and I was weaned in at 13, I was OK for a few years, I just use to drink with my friends around town and stuff and when I was 16, my dad died. I think that was when the problem first started, my dad wasn't an alcoholic or anything but he did use to drink and he got me into drinking as his methodology was if you get your son drunk at home whilst under supervision, then if he goes out with his mates drinking, he won't act like a tit as much because it's not the first time he has been drunk and he knows what he's doing e.t.c.
Anyway when my dad died, I just started drinking more and I had a girlfriend at the time and her family use to always offer me drink when I went around and I was inclined to drink as it use to make me feel really good, and I was a bit depressed at the time as my dad had died and I failed my Royal Navy medical due to a knee problem and I had my heart set on joining the Navy as my Dad use to work alongside the navy and told me all sorts of stories and I just genuinely wanted to be in it.
Then I broke up with my first girlfriend so I felt even worse but I ended up doing the Princes Trust which got my life back on track for the meantime, to cut a long story short, I eventually ended up at university and because I'm pretty shy and find it hard to make new friends and I was living away from home for the first time, I just went back into a bit of a depression again and I started buying alcohol and just use to drink it in my flat on my own when I felt down which was pretty often.
I'm now in my 2nd year but nothing has changed, in fact, it's got even worse, I don't bond as much with my new flatmates this year so I'm even more lonely and subsequently drinking more and my timetable has changed so that there is bigger gaps between lectures therefore I'm killing time by going to the pub.
I realise that it is bad for me and I know that I'm slowly killing myself as I'm putting on weight through drink and even though I have tried to stick to my '5 a day' it just seems pointless as I drink so much and when I'm drunk, I just eat a load of fast food. My dad died of a young age via a heart attack because he drank and smoked too much and although I don't smoke, I do drink alot and I have a poor diet so I feel like I'm going to go the same way but I just can't stop myself. I just don't know what to do, I've been reluctant to ask for advice because I don't wanna risk ruining my career chances by stating I feel depressed/have a drink problem e.t.c.
Even though this is posted as anonymous, it's probably obviousy who I am but I'm prepared to take that risk, I just need help.
Anyway when my dad died, I just started drinking more and I had a girlfriend at the time and her family use to always offer me drink when I went around and I was inclined to drink as it use to make me feel really good, and I was a bit depressed at the time as my dad had died and I failed my Royal Navy medical due to a knee problem and I had my heart set on joining the Navy as my Dad use to work alongside the navy and told me all sorts of stories and I just genuinely wanted to be in it.
Then I broke up with my first girlfriend so I felt even worse but I ended up doing the Princes Trust which got my life back on track for the meantime, to cut a long story short, I eventually ended up at university and because I'm pretty shy and find it hard to make new friends and I was living away from home for the first time, I just went back into a bit of a depression again and I started buying alcohol and just use to drink it in my flat on my own when I felt down which was pretty often.
I'm now in my 2nd year but nothing has changed, in fact, it's got even worse, I don't bond as much with my new flatmates this year so I'm even more lonely and subsequently drinking more and my timetable has changed so that there is bigger gaps between lectures therefore I'm killing time by going to the pub.
I realise that it is bad for me and I know that I'm slowly killing myself as I'm putting on weight through drink and even though I have tried to stick to my '5 a day' it just seems pointless as I drink so much and when I'm drunk, I just eat a load of fast food. My dad died of a young age via a heart attack because he drank and smoked too much and although I don't smoke, I do drink alot and I have a poor diet so I feel like I'm going to go the same way but I just can't stop myself. I just don't know what to do, I've been reluctant to ask for advice because I don't wanna risk ruining my career chances by stating I feel depressed/have a drink problem e.t.c.
Even though this is posted as anonymous, it's probably obviousy who I am but I'm prepared to take that risk, I just need help.
well there goes my anonymity
Well done for acknowledging that you need help. Its really hard to do that especially if you are still feeling so low and things haven't changed for the better. There are lots of avenues available to you and you don't have to do it alone. Does anyone else close to you know about your drinking? You could approach your GP if you felt able to, or there should be student support at your university who will be able to direct you to relevant services that can help you.
Sorry i was going to write more than that but i can't think of what to say
Sorry i was going to write more than that but i can't think of what to say
Try joining a gym. It'll kill the time between the gaps but also genuinly make you feel much better about yourself. Your unhealthy diet is also probably contributing to your depression. Try cooking. Healthy stuff obviously. Also try and limit how much you drink to something a bit higher, then continue to lower it as you claim your drinking binge exceeds more than 5. It'll be easier in the long run.
Hope that helps.
P.S: Try changing your perspective. With what happened to your dad do you think he'll be happy about what you are doing to yourself? I think not. Good luck.
Hope that helps.
P.S: Try changing your perspective. With what happened to your dad do you think he'll be happy about what you are doing to yourself? I think not. Good luck.
Well, well done for admitting it. Could you not join a sort of Alcoholics Anonymous type of group? If not, try talking to your doctor, and in fact I'm sure your university will have plenty of people for this too. Get in touch with one of them - your doctor might be a good place to start since anything you say there is completely confidential, and if you don't want to take their advice you don't have to.
Let me say, straight off, that you have my sympathy for all the ****. My ex went downhill, with regards to drinking, drugs and depression, after his mother died, so I have a little experience of the matter. Now forgive me if the rest of my post does not exhude pity. You want advice, yes?
Go to a doctor. Tell him about the drinking, the poor diet and the depression. If he acts like he doesn't care/can't help, go to another one. Keep going until you can find a prefessional to help, or until you get refered to one. This is not going to be fixed unless you get pro-active. You have to force yourself to stop drinking. Go cold turkey. Fight the urge to have a quickie at the pub, or buy beer when you go to the supermarket. Don't get a bottle of JD in for a "treat" and don't let people by you wine/beer etc for celebrations. Completly set in your mind the consequences of drinking the way you do. Everytime you see a pint, instead of thinking "why not, I can quit tomorrow", see a heart attack waiting to happen. You know that this could kill you. Only you can really kick this. The doctor can maybe give you some methods, but you have to be convinced that it is the right thing to do.
All the best sweetie.
*huggles*
Go to a doctor. Tell him about the drinking, the poor diet and the depression. If he acts like he doesn't care/can't help, go to another one. Keep going until you can find a prefessional to help, or until you get refered to one. This is not going to be fixed unless you get pro-active. You have to force yourself to stop drinking. Go cold turkey. Fight the urge to have a quickie at the pub, or buy beer when you go to the supermarket. Don't get a bottle of JD in for a "treat" and don't let people by you wine/beer etc for celebrations. Completly set in your mind the consequences of drinking the way you do. Everytime you see a pint, instead of thinking "why not, I can quit tomorrow", see a heart attack waiting to happen. You know that this could kill you. Only you can really kick this. The doctor can maybe give you some methods, but you have to be convinced that it is the right thing to do.
All the best sweetie.
*huggles*
Sarky
Well done for acknowledging that you need help. Its really hard to do that especially if you are still feeling so low and things haven't changed for the better. There are lots of avenues available to you and you don't have to do it alone. Does anyone else close to you know about your drinking? You could approach your GP if you felt able to, or there should be student support at your university who will be able to direct you to relevant services that can help you.
Sorry i was going to write more than that but i can't think of what to say
Sorry i was going to write more than that but i can't think of what to say
I think alot of people recognise that I have a problem, I think my mum knows as I've let her down so many times through being drunk i.e. I tried starting a fight when I was drunk with her ex best friends husband who lied and said she had an affair with him and I got mugged in the summer because I was too drunk to defend myself and she had to cancel her holiday and come pick me up from the hospital as they wouldn't let me out on my own. Plus one of my brothers IS an alcoholic. I'm pretty sure my mates though, they haven't said anything specifically but when your my age, it's just a laugh aint it, people just assume your being a normal student, but I'm not, I'm a pisshead.
generalebriety
Well, well done for admitting it. Could you not join a sort of Alcoholics Anonymous type of group? If not, try talking to your doctor, and in fact I'm sure your university will have plenty of people for this too. Get in touch with one of them - your doctor might be a good place to start since anything you say there is completely confidential, and if you don't want to take their advice you don't have to.
I'm reluctant to go a group like that because even though I consider myself to have a drink problem I don't class myself as an alcoholic because I don't drink everyday, I can go weeks without drinking, it's just when I do drink, I go over the top and I'm not usually drinking for the right reason i.e. I'm normally drinking to 'escape' or because there is nothing else to do, not to be sociable
The definition of being an alcoholic is that you can't stop once you start - as an AA guy said when he came to speak to my school. If you can't stop after one drink then it probably isn't wise to have that first one...
Either way schmokie dragon is right - you need to talk to a professional because they now what they are talking about, as opposed to friends etc. who will give support but won't necessarily know what they are talking bout.
You shouldn't be depressed bout the drinking because it isn't your fault, that's just the way it goes sometimes.
Hope this helps and as schmokie dragon said - be pro-active, things aren't gonna get better if you don't do anything - and they will get better.
Either way schmokie dragon is right - you need to talk to a professional because they now what they are talking about, as opposed to friends etc. who will give support but won't necessarily know what they are talking bout.
You shouldn't be depressed bout the drinking because it isn't your fault, that's just the way it goes sometimes.
Hope this helps and as schmokie dragon said - be pro-active, things aren't gonna get better if you don't do anything - and they will get better.
Imperfect
Try joining a gym. It'll kill the time between the gaps but also genuinly make you feel much better about yourself. Your unhealthy diet is also probably contributing to your depression. Try cooking. Healthy stuff obviously. Also try and limit how much you drink to something a bit higher, then continue to lower it as you claim your drinking binge exceeds more than 5. It'll be easier in the long run.
Hope that helps.
P.S: Try changing your perspective. With what happened to your dad do you think he'll be happy about what you are doing to yourself? I think not. Good luck.
Hope that helps.
P.S: Try changing your perspective. With what happened to your dad do you think he'll be happy about what you are doing to yourself? I think not. Good luck.
This is all excellent advice. Also, try focussing on what you really want. Before drinking that double voddy and coke at 11AM, try thinking if you'd rather have that, or if you'd rather graduate with a good degree/get a good body again/feel healthy etc.
Delayed gratification vs instant gratification. It's not always easy for the delayed gratification to take the win.
britishseapower
I'm reluctant to go a group like that because even though I consider myself to have a drink problem I don't class myself as an alcoholic because I don't drink everyday, I can go weeks without drinking, it's just when I do drink, I go over the top and I'm not usually drinking for the right reason i.e. I'm normally drinking to 'escape' or because there is nothing else to do, not to be sociable
I know what you mean - I hardly drink at home and I don't miss it, but when I was at school, and now at uni I'm almost a different person.
By the time I get home at 4 I need a drink.
The last couple of weks have been so bad my voice has gone completely (sorry that probably doesn't make much sense but when I drink a lot of spirits neat it wrecks my voice, don't know why) and everyone sympathises with you for having a cold and I just sit there thinking actually no, I did this to myself.
britishseapower
I'm reluctant to go a group like that because even though I consider myself to have a drink problem I don't class myself as an alcoholic because I don't drink everyday, I can go weeks without drinking, it's just when I do drink, I go over the top and I'm not usually drinking for the right reason i.e. I'm normally drinking to 'escape' or because there is nothing else to do, not to be sociable
Still an alcohol problem, no?
icantthinkofacoolusername
By the time I get home at 4 I need a drink.
By the time I get home at 4 I need a drink.
Sometimes I feel like I need an alcoholic drink but it turns out I'm just dehydrated, when I realise I've gone half a day without any fluids! Try to keep hydrated throughout the day and keep a supply of your favourite, extremely tasty soft drink at home, u might find the same thing as I did
That's so wierd...
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