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Discotheque trauma
just returned from a party/disco... actually the first real discoparty i went to ever since uni started, the first time with all my new friends...
and there is sth really painful in me that i would like to understand...
Why would you - as a group of several people - outcast/reject/isolate a person who is, under normal circumstances, a social and i dare say charismatic person... after you see him dancing?
Is it the the style of my dance that turns them off?
The lack of physical contact in my dancing style?
Might I be sweating too much and they find it ugly?
I don't know... but it is a real fall of confidence when at the beginning of the party everyone smiles and chats with you and the girls attention is on you (yeah... i know, now all will say that i shouldn't take pride in my attractivity, but wtf. that's how i am! many girls watch me and like to flirt with me... until i start dancing) and as soon as you start dancing both girls and boys create physical barriers (e.g. in the dance dynamics... excluding me from the dance-circle, avoiding eye contact with me, etc.)
they stop speaking with you, and I feel as if I don't exist anymore...
It's ironic actually! They start dancing with me, call me, and as soon as I start moving, they like look at each other and implicitly avoid me...
to be honest, such situations have happened previously in discotheques with my older friends as well - i love dancing... but when this happens, I get fed up of wasting time and money in a place where I'm reduced to a piece of dust...
however, i'd like to know what you think..
Why? Why does it happen?
What could I try experimenting to see whether it changes?
I mean... if it's just my dancing style... I dunno... what turns you off usually?
currently, i really feel "traumatic" - like I NEVER EVER want to go to a discotheque again...
and there is sth really painful in me that i would like to understand...
Why would you - as a group of several people - outcast/reject/isolate a person who is, under normal circumstances, a social and i dare say charismatic person... after you see him dancing?
Is it the the style of my dance that turns them off?
The lack of physical contact in my dancing style?
Might I be sweating too much and they find it ugly?
I don't know... but it is a real fall of confidence when at the beginning of the party everyone smiles and chats with you and the girls attention is on you (yeah... i know, now all will say that i shouldn't take pride in my attractivity, but wtf. that's how i am! many girls watch me and like to flirt with me... until i start dancing) and as soon as you start dancing both girls and boys create physical barriers (e.g. in the dance dynamics... excluding me from the dance-circle, avoiding eye contact with me, etc.)
they stop speaking with you, and I feel as if I don't exist anymore...
It's ironic actually! They start dancing with me, call me, and as soon as I start moving, they like look at each other and implicitly avoid me...
to be honest, such situations have happened previously in discotheques with my older friends as well - i love dancing... but when this happens, I get fed up of wasting time and money in a place where I'm reduced to a piece of dust...
however, i'd like to know what you think..
Why? Why does it happen?
What could I try experimenting to see whether it changes?
I mean... if it's just my dancing style... I dunno... what turns you off usually?
currently, i really feel "traumatic" - like I NEVER EVER want to go to a discotheque again...
Scroll to see replies
btw... i'd like to add that when i dance i never have a "playboyish" attitude... i don't make any sexual innuendos... i simply dance
could that be the cause?
could that be the cause?
yeah... sorry, i wanted to say anything that has a dancefloor in it, from home-parties to nightclubs etc. you know what I mean 
woah, i was really depressed last night...
woah, i was really depressed last night...
Talon
You didnt dance 70s style did you? Lol.
I can't imagine anybody thinking he is anything other than awesome if he danced 70s style to something like Blame It On The Boogie (incidentally, an AMAZING song).
Then again, if it was a progressive house thing, perhaps that would've been a poor choice of dancing technique.
i actually dance different styles, including 70s... the fact is maybe i dance differently... it's hard to explain
i actually did modern dance lessons as a teenager... so, whenever there's music i spontaneously improvise "choreographies"... meaning that (from my point of view) I don't "just move my hands and legs to the rythm" as most of the others, but invent and dance different moves (like in music videos) from different styles and genres.
it's in my blood, and that's why i like dancing...
but I'm not sure whether this form of "dancing" is appropriate in nightclubs... is it maybe because most people just go there to pick up girls/guys rather than performing dance itself?
I dunno, I'm not sure... I'm just thinking...
i actually did modern dance lessons as a teenager... so, whenever there's music i spontaneously improvise "choreographies"... meaning that (from my point of view) I don't "just move my hands and legs to the rythm" as most of the others, but invent and dance different moves (like in music videos) from different styles and genres.
it's in my blood, and that's why i like dancing...
but I'm not sure whether this form of "dancing" is appropriate in nightclubs... is it maybe because most people just go there to pick up girls/guys rather than performing dance itself?
I dunno, I'm not sure... I'm just thinking...
Anonymous
i actually did modern dance lessons as a teenager... so, whenever there's music i spontaneously improvise "choreographies"... meaning that (from my point of view) I don't "just move my hands and legs to the rythm" as most of the others, but invent and dance different moves (like in music videos) from different styles and genres.
it's in my blood, and that's why i like dancing...
but I'm not sure whether this form of "dancing" is appropriate in nightclubs...
it's in my blood, and that's why i like dancing...
but I'm not sure whether this form of "dancing" is appropriate in nightclubs...
If you're dancing like MC Hammer with Down's Syndrome (as you probably are if you're trying to choreograph spontaneously while you're drunk) then it's not surprising that people are treating you like a freak.
Hm..First of all, I think others are trying to tell you that we call it a 'club' and not 'discotheque'. Secondly...Perhaps you're just not as good as you think you are. I have a (male)friend who thinks he is amazing and does all these dance moves and tries to encorporate his barwork techniques into his dance...It doesn't look amazing. I try to step away from that as it can get embarrassing when everyone is looking at hime like "..jesus..wtf..stop showing off and taking up so much space.." Perhaps this is your problem - you look too much like you're showing off and are taking up too much space on the dance floor.
Saying that, people are probably more likely to be sniggering than not talking to you if this is the case...Hm..sorry I didn't help much!
Saying that, people are probably more likely to be sniggering than not talking to you if this is the case...Hm..sorry I didn't help much!
They are totally different types of dance. I did modern dancing when i was younger but i would ever dream of doing that kind of stuff in a club!! I know it might not be your kinda thing naturally to do slightly more static dancing but it might be worth trying it to see the results - i'm sure theyll be very different!
I had the same thing the other day. Is there a certain time that you have to approach a girl before they turn around and start to ignore you or something?
I'd recommend going to more niche clubs instead of the cheesy student type of places if you want to change this - like drum & bass, hardcore dance, rock, hip hop etc. Those places have more exuberance styles of dancing with improvisation and more than standing on the spot like students seem to.
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