Secluded!!

Hi,

i wont make this too long... but would really appreciate your advice
I have been really depressed for the past couple of years. I dont say a word at school and dont really talk to anyone. I am completely secluded at school, I dont have any friends :frown:

People also make fun off me due to the fact that i am always on my own...
I have had friends in the past but i dont talk to them much as they seem to ignore me and not talk to me at all! All day at school im either at lessons or sitting by myself doing homework etc.
People give me dirty looks as they walk past and i cant do much about it... i think its probably because im alone when others are with friends.
I have been bullied in the past which resulted in me underachieving in exams, not socialising or even talking to my family. I have been bullied by groups and individuals who would take money of me and make other racist remarks. They have even tried to come into my house when i was alone at home and try to chuck eggs inside.. I ave thought about suicide a number of times... :frown:

This has changed my personality completely.
I dont know what i should do... I dont want to be like this when im at university i have to change myself...
Being secluded and not being able to socialise with people has had an affect on my studies too.

Thanks in advance

Reply 1

Mellanie

Don't worry about it too much - I can relate to exactly what you have wrote above, but trust me, just look forward to university and the days of no more seclusion!

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

At University there will be far more people for you to mix with, so you are bound to find a group of friends with whom you can bond and settle in with. People will also be far more tolerant and more willing to be out going.

I really do wish you all the best - I'm currently away from school due to certain *legal problems* so I'm unable to meet and see all my friends. Only two people actually know what's going on, so I can sympathise about how you feel. Things will get better they always do.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

The-Lennon

legal problems?

Not anymore, thankfully..
but still has had an effect on me :frown:

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

The-Lennon

i was talking about the 2nd anon....... he said he had to stay away from school for legal reasons

It's not the thread or the place to go into it, but an ex-girlfriend's made a serious allegation against me about something that she says happened during our relationship. Basically I'm not allowed to go back until this is resolved.

1st anon: Can I ask why your friends no longer talk to you or ignore you? Is there no way you can fall back in with the people you used to hang around with?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Anonymous

1st anon: Can I ask why your friends no longer talk to you or ignore you? Is there no way you can fall back in with the people you used to hang around with?

Personally i dont think i want to...

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

Personally i dont think i want to...

Ok, well have you tried talking to your school nurse or chaplain? They can often be a point of help and support and offer excellent advice including pointing you in the direction of people who can help.

You may feel like this will be something that will never change, but it will. You are clearly an intelligent and eloquent person and I doubt you'll find it hard to make friends in the future. Unfortunatly you've found yourself with a load of gits.

Surely there must be someone else at your school who's in a similar situation?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Anonymous

Surely there must be someone else at your school who's in a similar situation?

No i dont think there is :frown:

To be honest I THINK my previous friends are into drugs and thats why i prefer to stay away from them!

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

By the way im 16 and doing AS Levels

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

darkfairy753

Have you talked to your parents about it? Do you have any brothers and sisters? Sometimes the problem seems less of a problem once you discuss it with someone.

Thanks for the advice and no I havnt spoken to anyone about this... i just dont want anyone to know. Family and relatives have noticed a dramatic change in my personality and they have been saying things like "Why dont you talk any more and always seemed worried and depressed". Im just too scared to tell anyone, i feel it would make things much worser. Its been a year since the bullying has stopped but it has had a long term effect on me!

Reply 10

Anthony Arundel

Just to pick out a little bit of what you said...

Anonymous

This has changed my personality completely.

I had difficulty when I moved into my secondary school for the first couple of years. I felt different - eccentric - and it was very tough to get along with a large group of homogenous, aggressive, superficial adolescents. At the time I let that affect my personality; I allowed myself to change in ways I didn't want to - subconsciously perhaps - so as to be accepted.

Don't let that happen. Try to revive yourself and be proud of who you are.

In more recent years I've been able to accept who I am, and I don't let the odd set of fools around me make me change myself. If they bully you for who you are, although it's a complete pain at the time, in the long run it's their problem. Don't let them win by changing you, because, in the words of the great Frasier Crane, "the only way a bully wins is if he changes who you are!"

Recently, I've chosen to do things that went against the flow*, because it's who I am. I didn't go out on the freshers' week pub crawl, because it's not me - I read a book on Gandhi instead, because to me that's interesting, even if to some others it makes me boring.

You've fighting spirit in you! I know it's hard, but tell yourself!
Remember: "the only way a bully wins is if he changes who you are!"

* I don't think that includes doing such things as biting people or running around town naked, even if it is who you are. :wink:

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Anthony Arundel

You've fighting spirit in you! I know it's hard, but tell yourself!
Remember: "the only way a bully wins is if he changes who you are!"

Thanks i'll keep that in mind.

Reply 12

hannah_dru

I can relate to pretty much all you said too. I was bullied at every school I went to, and I don't realy have any friends left at sixth form now exceot for one loyal one (but I can't hang around with her much) because most of them quit. I still think that I get dirty looks from people, even in years lower than me.

Please don't think about suicide though. I've been there too and I know it's just not worth doing.

Have you got a career in mind that you want to pursue when you go to uni? That's what keeps me going.

If you want to chat about some more about this then feel free to send me a message :smile:

I hope you feel better soon.

Reply 13

Purple-Sparkle

I felt pretty much like you at school. I was a quiet girl so not many people approached me and I was bullied for being quiet. In 6th form loads (not all) of my friends stopped talking to me and ignored me. I didn't do anything wrong to hurt them. I think this confident girl (ex-friend) was to blame for turning loads of people against me. I didn't really go out for nights out either because no-one invited me. I started suffering with depression over it. I'd be in tears and was glad to leave school.

Now I'm in my 2nd year at Uni and have loads of friends and go out often. I no longer feel left out like I did in 6th form and school. I came out of my shell too.

Hope everything turns out well :smile:

Reply 14

Anonymous #1