dilemma about a guy i love!!!

The guy I'm seeing has been a family friend for a long time so I have grown up a bit with him. We used to like each other when we were like 14/15 but we never really took each other seriously so nothing happened. But I've always liked him and had a soft spot for him and I think he feels the same, even though we've been with other people.

I'm 21 now and I decided to take the plunge and ask him out for a meal, and he said yeah. I've seen him a few times now and we know we like each other and I told him I wanted a relationship and he said he was unsure and we decided we'd see how things go.

I know he really respects me because of how long we've known each other for and that he hasn't pressured me into sex or made it seem like that's all he wants. Basically, I know he really cares about me.

And he's messaged me saying he thinks he wants a relationship with me but he's really afraid of commitment but wants to try..

Obvs this was via text so I reckon when I see him I'll ask him what exactly he's scared of... But I just wondered generally what this means? Neither of us have had a relationship longer than 5months..

Also, he's a very good looking confident guy (but cocky sometimes) and is outgoing.. But I do think he has a bit of a shy side to him although he wouldn't admit it..

In the past he has said things like he can see himself marrying me and he doesn't think I'm a one night stand kind of girl (this was when we was just friends) so I know he respects me and sees me as more than just sex..

Also, he doesn't seem to be making much effort when it comes to dating.. Like he wants to see me but doesn't know where to go/what to do..

He's not been making an effort with me for like 2months now. He's said to me that he still likes me but is unsure of what he wants. I then messaged him the other day and he said he missed me and the distance hurts him as he wants me around all the time. I said im moving back to my hometown (where he lives) soon. he said he's been working like 55+ hours a week and he works nights so he's tired during the daytime. i think part of him wants a relationship as he said he gets lonely. but i think he's not been making an effort cos of his working life. but then, it's not hard for him to send me a text?

I really don't know what to do now.. whether i should move on or wait for him! he's not really chasing me, i feel like i'm chasing him. i just don't want to move on cos i love him but then i can't wait forever!

Reply 1

shawn_o1

When is he not at work? Try calling him and arrange to meet him on one of those days when he isn't busy. Of course, I'm sure he thinks about you while he's working.

(The reason why you should call is because communication is more than just messaging.) Oh, if he's unsure of what he wants, you should come up with ideas. I'm sure you two have common interests (like a sport or music or things you do to keep fit)

dilemma about a guy i love!!!

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