Do I tell my girlfriend that I kissed another girl? Watch

bethabbott
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#61
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#61
(Original post by matthewduncan)
I am one and I love it
And its never stopped me from getting women
You're just disgusting mate
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Olderandwiser23
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#62
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#62
(Original post by matthewduncan)
I am one and I love it
And its never stopped me from getting women
Ha you sound like my boyfriend about 4 years ago! He was a total arrogant womaniser....then he met me-his match! Haha
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z-evans
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#63
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#63
(Original post by bethabbott)
Definitely, don't deserve to be walked over by someone
Completely. Man or woman, if you've cheated on someone you cannot then claim that they're important to you. If they were that important to you then you would not have cheated.

People can be so ignorant to their actions.
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z-evans
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#64
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#64
(Original post by matthewduncan)
I am one and I love it
And its never stopped me from getting women
Well, it's nice to know that, thankfully, there are boys that think differently to you.

And you may well still 'get' women but I think you'll struggle when it comes to the point where you actually want a decent and lasting relationship. After a while, even the women you do get now, would realise and leave because nobody deserves to be treated like that.
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Olderandwiser23
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#65
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(Original post by z-evans)
Well, it's nice to know that, thankfully, there are boys that think differently to you.

And you may well still 'get' women but I think you'll struggle when it comes to the point where you actually want a decent and lasting relationship. After a while, even the women you do get now, would realise and leave because nobody deserves to be treated like that.
Off topic but on some level don't you think girls like the arrogant types?

Girls like bad boys and arrogant womanisers fall under that category. I don't know why girls like it, but I fell for it, all of my friends fall for it. Most of the time it doesn't work out, which is horrible but sometimes it works. I think I always put it down to girls wanting to be the one that "tames the beast" or changes them and makes them want to settle down lol
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bethabbott
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#66
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#66
(Original post by Olderandwiser23)
Off topic but on some level don't you think girls like the arrogant types?

Girls like bad boys and arrogant womanisers fall under that category. I don't know why girls like it, but I fell for it, all of my friends fall for it. Most of the time it doesn't work out, which is horrible but sometimes it works. I think I always put it down to girls wanting to be the one that "tames the beast" or changes them and makes them want to settle down lol
The girls do that. The women are with the men, who don't go to the clubs looking for the hoes. The womanisers are just boys who are playing with the girls because they see them as toys.
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z-evans
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#67
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#67
(Original post by Olderandwiser23)
Off topic but on some level don't you think girls like the arrogant types?

Girls like bad boys and arrogant womanisers fall under that category. I don't know why girls like it, but I fell for it, all of my friends fall for it. Most of the time it doesn't work out, which is horrible but sometimes it works. I think I always put it down to girls wanting to be the one that "tames the beast" or changes them and makes them want to settle down lol
I agree that some girls do like arrogance, not all though. I've seen my friends fall for arrogant guys, I have too actually, and most of the time it doesn't work out because of the guys arrogance. More often than not they can't be tamed lol, it's a shame really but can't help who you fall for I guess
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Olderandwiser23
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#68
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#68
(Original post by bethabbott)
The girls do that. The women are with the men, who don't go to the clubs looking for the hoes. The womanisers are just boys who are playing with the girls because they see them as toys.
It's depressing that as a female yourself you use such derogatory language about other females. Be nicer, men treat us badly as it is, with out members of our own sex being horrible too.

Girls was a collective term for women of consenting age btw.

You can make a conscious choice to go for the "safe" option, doesn't stop a girl *ahem* sorry "woman" lusting over the bad boy type though. Safe option=boring. Attempting to change a man=challenge
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Olderandwiser23
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#69
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#69
(Original post by z-evans)
I agree that some girls do like arrogance, not all though. I've seen my friends fall for arrogant guys, I have too actually, and most of the time it doesn't work out because of the guys arrogance. More often than not they can't be tamed lol, it's a shame really but can't help who you fall for I guess
I totally agree most of the time they can't be tamed. I was luck tbh! Basically played him like he played other girls haha he didn't like having the tables turned. And now he's the best partner I could ask for :-)
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Green_Pink
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#70
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#70
(Original post by Olderandwiser23)
Or she might get really hurt, stay with him but be unhappy/paranoid all over a stupid kiss which he had when hammered.

Seems like he'll cAuse unnecessary hurt
He caused the unnecessary hurt when he decided to cheat.
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bethabbott
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#71
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#71
(Original post by Olderandwiser23)
It's depressing that as a female yourself you use such derogatory language about other females. Be nicer, men treat us badly as it is, with out members of our own sex being horrible too.

Girls was a collective term for women of consenting age btw.

You can make a conscious choice to go for the "safe" option, doesn't stop a girl *ahem* sorry "woman" lusting over the bad boy type though. Safe option=boring. Attempting to change a man=challenge
Let's be honest - there will always be girls who see themselves as objects because of how men speak about us, use us for their pleasures, state that a men can never be "satisfied" with only one woman.

Men treat women badly because for an extremely long time we've let them- I personally don't understand why you let the complete jerk earlier speak the way he did? Let alone appreciate that he was an arrogant womaniser, and find humour from it.

Plus, just because a man has matured it doesn't necessarily make him boring. It just means there's no mind-games and arguments over sleeping with other women.
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Olderandwiser23
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#72
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#72
(Original post by Green_Pink)
He caused the unnecessary hurt when he decided to cheat.
He's only hurting himself right now as he feels guilty (rightfully so) by confessing he's trying to ease his own guilt but in turn making her (potentially) unhappy.

What she doesn't know can't hurt.
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Olderandwiser23
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#73
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#73
(Original post by bethabbott)
Let's be honest - there will always be girls who see themselves as objects because of how men speak about us, use us for their pleasures, state that a men can never be "satisfied" with only one woman.

Men treat women badly because for an extremely long time we've let them- I personally don't understand why you let the complete jerk earlier speak the way he did? Let alone appreciate that he was an arrogant womaniser, and find humour from it.
There is no situation where slut shaming is useful though.

There will always be womanisers. I don't agree that it's "nice" but there are plenty of man eaters too.
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matthewduncan
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#74
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#74
(Original post by z-evans)
Well, it's nice to know that, thankfully, there are boys that think differently to you.

And you may well still 'get' women but I think you'll struggle when it comes to the point where you actually want a decent and lasting relationship. After a while, even the women you do get now, would realise and leave because nobody deserves to be treated like that.
This is why you dont get caught.
And treated like what?
Its not the cheating that does the damage its the getting caught
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bethabbott
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#75
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#75
This thread is just irritating me to no end now. It's completely irresponsible to kiss a girl and then not tell your girlfriend of how many years about what happened. It's wrong that men still find it acceptable to say that only one gender is allowed to cheat, and it's delusional to believe that girls aren't capable of shaming themselves. You are what you are, no matter how many times you try to cover it up. If you kiss someone when drunk, you're a cheat. If you make the male gender superior over females, you're a sexist. People need to open their eyes and actually be straight and blunt with each other.
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Mark.c719
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#76
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#76
Hi all. OP here. Thanks for (most of) the advice.

I need to clear up a few things. Although I can't remember how it happened or who initiated it, I remember that it happened and accept the blame entirely. I am a ****. I am not looking for sympathy or excuses, but would just like to know what you would do in my situation.

How I see it at the moment is that if I tell her, then she would probably forgive me, but our relationship which has barely even suffered a single argument in four years would never be the same again. She would be hurt, I would do everything to make it up to her and we would probably get through it.

If I don't tell her then I have to live with the substantial guilt of knowing I did such a thing when I have the best girlfriend anyone could ever ask for. It would mean that I was lying to her, which I don't think I have ever done before about anything and it would also run a risk that someone who does know us both happened to be there.

A lose-lose situation and only my stupid self to blame. For those of you suggesting I drink less, then rest assured that will be my last ever visit to a night club.
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M !
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#77
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#77
(Original post by Mark.c719)
Hi all. OP here. Thanks for (most of) the advice.

I need to clear up a few things. Although I can't remember how it happened or who initiated it, I remember that it happened and accept the blame entirely. I am a ****. I am not looking for sympathy or excuses, but would just like to know what you would do in my situation.

How I see it at the moment is that if I tell her, then she would probably forgive me, but our relationship which has barely even suffered a single argument in four years would never be the same again. She would be hurt, I would do everything to make it up to her and we would probably get through it.

If I don't tell her then I have to live with the substantial guilt of knowing I did such a thing when I have the best girlfriend anyone could ever ask for. It would mean that I was lying to her, which I don't think I have ever done before about anything and it would also run a risk that someone who does know us both happened to be there.

A lose-lose situation and only my stupid self to blame. For those of you suggesting I drink less, then rest assured that will be my last ever visit to a night club.
presuming you're a "good guy" and you actually give a **** about her, you should tell her lest it come out further down the line
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iama
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#78
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#78
I'd say to not tell her. But see which way your feelings weigh more.
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Green_Pink
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#79
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#79
(Original post by Olderandwiser23)
He's only hurting himself right now as he feels guilty (rightfully so) by confessing he's trying to ease his own guilt but in turn making her (potentially) unhappy.

What she doesn't know can't hurt.
It can when she finds out later, or when the relationship fails because he feels guilty and there's obviously no trust.
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Mr Inquisitive
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#80
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#80
(Original post by Mark.c719)
Hi all. OP here. Thanks for (most of) the advice.

I need to clear up a few things. Although I can't remember how it happened or who initiated it, I remember that it happened and accept the blame entirely. I am a ****. I am not looking for sympathy or excuses, but would just like to know what you would do in my situation.

How I see it at the moment is that if I tell her, then she would probably forgive me, but our relationship which has barely even suffered a single argument in four years would never be the same again. She would be hurt, I would do everything to make it up to her and we would probably get through it.

If I don't tell her then I have to live with the substantial guilt of knowing I did such a thing when I have the best girlfriend anyone could ever ask for. It would mean that I was lying to her, which I don't think I have ever done before about anything and it would also run a risk that someone who does know us both happened to be there.

A lose-lose situation and only my stupid self to blame. For those of you suggesting I drink less, then rest assured that will be my last ever visit to a night club.
You're right about it being a lose-lose situation. Given that, you have to minimise your losses. If you don't tell her, she'll eventually find out; that will destroy her, and in the process, destroy you (providing she means as much as you say).

Tell her. She deserves the truth. Be sincere and talk it through honestly with her, and hope for the best. Worst case scenario: she leaves you and the relationship ends. With that, you a) no longer have the guilt of continuing to hide things from her, and b) she was able to make an informed choice about what's happened. It's the best you can do in a bad situation. Even that outcome, which is the worst case with telling her, is better than what would happen if you didn't tell her.
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