Haunted over class mates suicide

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Sucides, as well as being tremdously grim and sickly, are a 100 times worse when it's with teenagers, for various reasons like the school impact, the youth, the way so many more people are affected than when it's an adult. So, I pity you that. I have known of a few people commiting suicide, not in my school and not close friends or anything, but even I find it slightly haunting, that someone would actually carry that out, especcially at such a young age.

This may not be what you want, but to try and rectify your problem, you could try and create more awareness or set up somrething to try and promote as much awareness as possible. I don't think you should feel any guilt, that suicide was a particularly young one, and anyone at that age is far from adulthood and usually quite shy. I very much doubt there was anything you could do.

hope things turn out ok x

Reply 21

pukey

What's done is done. You can't change the past now.

The only think you can do now is learn from the experience and move on.

If the nightmares are an issue I'd suggest getting professional help or trying one of the helplines out there. If all else fails, your GP will be able to point you in the right direction.

Anyways, you sound like a good guy. Everyone makes mistakes. I hope things turn out OK for you.

Reply 22

Zafda

Anonymous

In year 9 (13/14 years old) there was this boy who used to get badly bullied, physically and mentally, by a group of about 6 boys, for the simple reason that he was Asian. He killed himself towards the end of the year and 5 years on I'm still haunted by it because nobody including myself did anything to stop it, probably because the bullies were so rough and violent we were all scared. No-one in my classes ever discussed the suicide, and i'm not sure how they're coping now. I had nightmares and occasionally still get them, I am wracked with guilt and regret because I know I should have been braver and done something to stop it. I'm worried this is going to affect me for the rest of my life. Any advice appreciated.

its a shame he did that, but the bullies must've been horrid for him to have resorted to that.
tbh i dunno what you could do! i'd been bullied a lot of my life but eventually i reached a point where i could not give a toss about what people thought of me, coz i was here for me, not to impress anyone else.
you really can't do much now, i suppose you know now that if you ever come across a situation like that, you could try and be a good friend?

i've never been/heard of a situation like yours, but just try not to think of it much.

Reply 23

Evil-Tuna

Jennybean

I think Evil Tuna meant that the bullying was racist, which of course it was. To the OP, I can see why you would feel guilty but the unfortunate truth is that you can't do anything about this now. Regret won't change a thing, so like others have said if you really can't get over it, consider counselling. It might help to write down everything you think you should have said and done and then realise that you can't save this boy but you might be able to help others in future should you ever find yourself in a similar situation again.

Thank God/dess that someone has some sense on H&R.

Reply 24

Evil-Tuna

Also, matt@internet, learn to comprehend someones post or if its ambiguous ask them, before you neg rep them. I.E. avoid stupidity.

Reply 25

gas_panic!

You were 13/14 when it happened. The benefit of hindsight is a wonderful thing. Everyone wishes they had done things differently. If you were 18 and you turned a blind eye to it then maybe you should feel bad. But come on, bullying goes on in every classroom (although to varying degrees), and not many people not affected by it say anything to protect the victims.

Reply 26

matt@internet

Jennybean

I think Evil Tuna meant that the bullying was racist, which of course it was.

Oh right. Well, then my appologies Evil_Tuna.

Reply 27

Shreerac1

What goes around comes around.

Reply 28

melonman

one of my good friends killed himself in year 11, nobody knows why though. it absolutely destroyed the whole of the yeargroup, including myself. even now three years on it still breaks me up to think he did it, but i have taken steps to try and cope with it even though i know i'll never "get over it". i have talked to counsellors and also talked to dean through a medium. i dunno if you believe in that stuff, i didnt but after going i now think its undebatable, i talked to dean and he told me not to worry and than he was okay and loves me. so i really would recommend help. you've been through a lot, nobody will judge you for it. counsellors are there to help people, and i've found them amazing. just a recommendation :smile:

please dont beat yourself up, it will only tear you apart, and you could never have known how things would turn out. you weren't a bully, its them who need to live with knowing they played a part in this boys death xXx