The Student Room Group

Christians and Non-Christians

Basically I'm getting on really well with this girl, but the only barrier is that she is a Christian and she thinks that in the long term she must be with someone also who is a Christian.

In fact I have no problem with the existence of God (but I don't see why we should bother), but just I am not a Christian.

Is there ANYWHERE in the Bible which states that Christians have to go out (or marry?) with Christians?

If the barrier is purely physical, racial, anything else it's fine - but if it's religion per se that forms some sort of barrier I think it's really silly, a waste of opportunity and this just makes me really sad in general.

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Reply 1
You don't wanna go out with a religious person. Think of the potential problems.
Reply 2
no potential problems at all - I respect all religion, I'll let my children choose their religion - rather than labelling them as 'Christians' or 'Muslims' or a 'Jedi' for that matter - labelling children is abuse. They have the rights to choose.
Reply 3
It's totally up to you and her, to how you feel comfortable. The worries about only shacking up with same religion partner is that it does generate an almost Hitler style purity idea, and actually, Christianity does imply that it has to be open to all religions, and that the only person who can realistically judge is God itself.

However, if you feel comfortable with being with her - whats the worst that can happen?
Reply 4
Theres no specific bar on dating people that aren't christian. She probably just wants to date someone that will respect her choices - which are probably no sex before marriage and regular church visits etc.
Reply 5
Anonymous
no potential problems at all - I respect all religion, I'll let my children choose their religion - rather than labelling them as 'Christians' or 'Muslims' or a 'Jedi' for that matter - labelling children is abuse. They have the rights to choose.

And what makes you think a Christian wife would respect that, and wouldn't insist on raising her children as Christian?
Reply 6
well she can label them as Christians - but as soon as you start doing that - children will start to ask questions - in fact, the best way to a religion is through experience, not labelling.
Reply 7
3232
Theres no specific bar on dating people that aren't christian. She probably just wants to date someone that will respect her choices - which are probably no sex before marriage and regular church visits etc.

I'm fine with people going to church regularly. Don't get me wrong churches are very beautiful historically and architecturally...
Reply 8
Anonymous
I'm fine with people going to church regularly. Don't get me wrong churches are very beautiful historically and architecturally...



You are far too nice for your own good, churches are boring as hell for anyone but the most ardent religious fanatic. I used to be a practising catholic and the only reason i went was for the wine (I was 10, so i thought it was cool).
Reply 9
Anonymous
well she can label them as Christians - but as soon as you start doing that - children will start to ask questions - in fact, the best way to a religion is through experience, not labelling.

The fact is, she will probably want to raise them as Christians, with the whole "The Bible is right" etc. attitude, which obviously directly conflicts with you wanting to give them the right to choose. She may be trying to actively force them in a particular direction with regards to their religious beliefs. There's one (absolutely major, in my opinion) problem that I anticipate could happen.

Then you have the fact that many religious people often can't help trying to convert people, which would get right on my tits. I mean, think about it, if you thought someone you loved was more likely to go to Hell because they were following the "wrong" beliefs, wouldn't you try and stop that from happening?
Reply 10
I have no problem with anyone trying to convert others - as long as the person (the convertee :p: is there such a word?) is fully capable of making decision.

Seriously if you force someone to be religious, you tend to get the opposite of the desired outcome.

Plus, her father is an atheist and her mother a believer - no fundamental incompability there. Anyway, I am not an atheist I am just not a Christian.
Reply 11
Anonymous
Seriously if you force someone to be religious, you tend to get the opposite of the desired outcome.

Not really. Why do you think religion still thrives in the world today? It's because people are told by their parents when they're young and impressionable "Hey kids, God/Allah/Jehovah/The Easter Bunny is real!" and they grow up believing that, until it's ingrained on their minds.

In a world where we've split the atom, travelled to the moon and mapped the human genome, how many reasoning adults would decide of their own volition to believe in something which fundamentally defies everything we know about reason, logic and science like God?
Reply 12
I actually disagree with you - I used to share your view. A supreme being is fully compatible with science.
Anonymous
I actually disagree with you - I used to share your view. A supreme being is fully compatible with science.

Good on you :smile: Prof Brookes (Professor of Science and Religion at Oxford Univ.) holds the same opinion... you're in good company :biggrin:
Reply 14
Squelchy
Not really. Why do you think religion still thrives in the world today? It's because people are told by their parents when they're young and impressionable "Hey kids, God/Allah/Jehovah/The Easter Bunny is real!" and they grow up believing that, until it's ingrained on their minds.

In a world where we've split the atom, travelled to the moon and mapped the human genome, how many reasoning adults would decide of their own volition to believe in something which fundamentally defies everything we know about reason, logic and science like God?

While this is off-topic, I think science is another way to see God. Look at DNA and all the metabolic pathways that we have in our bodies. How could that possibly just have occured by chance. I think that's an example of the existence of God (but then that's another arguement for another time).

In the case of the topic starter, you should just go with this relationship and see where it leads. Just because someone is religious doesn't mean they'll be incompatible with you. Ok, you may have to make certain adjustments to her beliefs, but that's what happens within a relationship anyway.
Reply 15
Is there ANYWHERE in the Bible which states that Christians have to go out (or marry?) with Christians?

I had this conversation with someone last year. Here are some Bible Bits to get you thinking:

2 Corinthians, Ch6, v14-15
1 Corinthians, Ch7, v39

It's not so much explicitly stated, but these seem to be amongst the sections that are oft-quoted when this argument comes up. And do remember that the whole of the Bible is interpretation anyway (that's not anti-Christianity, by the way, it's historically [and religiously] acknowledged...it's just that each faction believes it has the correct interpretation).
Anonymous
I actually disagree with you - I used to share your view. A supreme being is fully compatible with science.

I find it quite a narrow minded view when people say science and religion are certainly incompatible.

We definitley don't know enough about either to be 100% certain about anything to do with this. But from what I understand, my beliefs are that our knowledge of science can very well exist along side the idea of a God and I'm very happy to believe that. I know nothing in science which contradicts the idea of God's existance. The reason people start to think they cannot go hand in hand is when they start taking the words in the Bible as meaning exactly what they say, rather than what I believe many of the early parts to be as a representation of things which happen written in words and stories which would be more unerstandable to people 1000, 2000 or more years ago.
Reply 17
Murphyen
While this is off-topic, I think science is another way to see God. Look at DNA and all the metabolic pathways that we have in our bodies. How could that possibly just have occured by chance.

Erm.... easily. That's what evolution and chemistry is. Things naturally vary so that the strongest variations survive among the environment they are in.
Reply 18
Roger Kirk
The reason people start to think they cannot go hand in hand is when they start taking the words in the Bible as meaning exactly what they say, rather than what I believe many of the early parts to be as a representation of things which happen written in words and stories which would be more unerstandable to people 1000, 2000 or more years ago.


That's a really good point.

And science and religion are compatible. Darwin's theory of evolution, though it goes against the "God created the world in seven days" idea, doesn't try to explain where the first organism came from.
Squelchy
Erm.... easily. That's what evolution and chemistry is. Things naturally vary so that the strongest variations survive among the environment they are in.

And how is that incompatible with Go?

How has all those systems and changes managed to come about? Pure chance seems hard to believe. Why can't God have had a hand in setting it all up and letting it get on it's way? To make a terrible analogy, it's like writing some sort of simulation programme. You set very thing up, write all the programming for what can ahppen and how things change. Then you set it all going to see how things do change, what does happen, seeif things do improve, the strngest survive and adapt etc. See if it does do what you hoped it would.