Confusing behaviour from male friend, need advice

I know, it's the typical 'what does it mean when he does this??' thread, but bear with me.

I've known this guy about 4 months and we're in a group of friends together. At first I really liked him, but because we're colleagues and he wasn't really paying me much notice, I moved on. Well lately he's been acting differently around me and it's starting to confuse me and I'd just like an outside opinion.

When we're alone it's fun and fine and he's flirtatious but still respectful. But when we're in a group (our group is mostly guys) he makes a point of teasing me or patronising me or occasionally being rude to me in front of everyone. He's still nice, but it's just got this edge of malice to it that I DONT understand. The only time we speak when in a group is when he wants to tease me.
He'll flirt with other girls in front of me and won't hug me when we part ways (even if he hugs everyone else and I hug everyone else in the group, when we come to each other it's awkward or he'll make a joke out of it).
Then today he sent me a random text saying 'who's that guy in your facebook picture? I've been meaning to ask', to which I told him (a close friend) and he got silent and didn't ask any further.

It's all pretty subtle and petty little things but I'm just wondering what any of it hints at because I've never had this problem with a guy before. Normally if someone 'likes' me, they'll make it stunningly obvious. Maybe this is just his way of putting me at a distance so I don't get any 'funny ideas' about our relationship; but I really don't know.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 1

cupcakeunicorn

It sounds like he might like you, in which case I'd say run if he asks you out or anything - he's already acting controlling, jealous and trying to hide how he feels about you from his friends

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Reply 2

klipsan

Original post by cupcakeunicorn

Possibly? Perhaps he knows that colleagues are 'out of bounds' and he's trying to deal with his feelings as casually and unsuspiciously as possible (which is having the opposite effect). It's not the first time I've had a guy try to flirt through ceaseless teasing but it just seemed a little odd for somebody 27 years old, who really should've grown out of that by now.

Reply 3

Le Nombre

He wants to **** you.

He's an awful flirt.

He's immature.

He's going to be seriously clingy if you do go out with him.

HTH

Reply 4

klipsan

Original post by Le Nombre

He wants to **** you.

He's an awful flirt.

He's immature.

He's going to be seriously clingy if you do go out with him.

HTH

But then why avoid hugging me? And being malicious with his comments?

Reply 5

miibay

In your position, I'd do what I do when I feel someone is teasing me and may like me: Keep acting normal and don't expose my feelings. EVER. If you are confused, it's because you don't know him well enough, so let the time run and time will tell you if you like this guy and/or if likes you back. Because so far, what does it matter what he feels like? It doesn't.. Knowing or guessing what he might feel doesn't change his acts and the insecurities you are having about him..

Reply 6

cupcakeunicorn

He may be worried about whether you like him back, how his friends would react or he may just be confused if he's interested in a relationship with you and previously he's only had friends with benefits situations. I don't know the full circumstances so its difficult but there may be reasons like an ex or a girlfriend that you aren't aware of at the moment

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Reply 7

Mimir

Original post by Le Nombre

He wants to **** you.

He's an awful flirt.

He's immature.

He's going to be seriously clingy if you do go out with him.

HTH

^^ I think is pretty much hits the nail on the head...

He's certainly immature and I wouldn't read much into what he's doing or saying. Maybe just ask him bluntly - it'll shake him a bit and give him a reality check.