Looking for love, and other musings

Is it best to actively look for love or to just chill and let it come to you?

Everytime I look at a girl I find attractive, whether it's a friend of mine or the lovely former Miss World Priyanka Chopra, I just get this sinking feeling that I'll never find true love. I've yet to have a girlfriend, and the closest I've ever gotten to a girl was an awkward slow dance at senior prom, two years ago. I see a beautiful friend of mine with her boyfriend, holding hands and smooching, or I see the gorgeous Ms. Chopra, and I just feel lonely, depressed, and furious at myself for being the thing that I am. Then I try to find a girl online, on some dating website, but to I just end up disappointed and feeling even lonelier. It's a vicious cycle. But I seem to have convinced myself that I'll never find love. I keep telling everyone I hate romance and that I never want a girl. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The thing is that I don't want it to happen in college. I don't know why but I find this whole "meeting the girl of your dreams in college at a frat party" thing sickenly cliche. I want to find love (or let it find me) after college.

I just feel a lot of inner turmoil when I think about this stuff. The sense of never knowing when, if at all, love will strike is so frustrating.

Reply 1

Squelchy

If you want to find love after college, why are you worrying about it now? Surely it's pointless to even think about it until after you graduate?

Reply 2

svdesi

blackswan

Stop thinking about finding love. The right girl for you will walk through the door when you least expect it.(cliche' but true)

Easier said than done. Although that theory does have some merit. I remember all the crushes I had in high school hit me when love was the last thing on my mind. And DAMN they hit me hard!

But what sucks is that none of them actually became anything more than a crush.

Reply 3

minimo

Letting love find you is likely to be a far more beautiful than you going and searching for it yourself. :smile:

Reply 4

Ron Stoppable

svdesi

Is it best to actively look for love or to just chill and let it come to you?

Squelchy

If you want to find love after college, why are you worrying about it now?

blackswan

You won't find love when you're so young

minimo

Letting love find you is likely to be a far more beautiful than you going and searching for it yourself. :smile:

Please can we not accept the disempowering frame of the thread-starter. "Finding love"? Puh-lease! You don't frigging go out and look for it.

If you were looking for your keys, you'd look for them, then stop looking when you've found them - so you'd stop when you'd found it. But oh nooo - the "finding love" concept is much better :rolleyes:

Picture Hugh Hefner, Jennifer Lopez or Peter Stringfellow "looking for love" - they'd look, find it, then keep frigging looking! So by subliminally convincing yourself that you're eternally looking for it, you'll carry on like a fool even when it's in front of you.

You find a person, then superemotions blossom between you two, which develop into unconditional love. No-one finds love itself; Mills & Boon isn't real life. :wink:

Reply 5

Teenie

There is no point in saying that you "dont want it to happen" at a college party or whatever because the fact is that you dont know! What happens if you do find someone at a party that you like and hit it off instantly. Are you going to stop yourself from letting anything happening because you didnt want it to happen "that way"? Life is what it is because we don't know whats going to happen or when. Live for the moment, if you find someone now, in a week, a year, whatever great but don't stress about it too much. It will happen when it happens and not before x

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

blackswan

Stop thinking about finding love. The right girl for you will walk through the door when you least expect it.(cliche' but true)

i dont believe thats true! (in relation to guys anyway) i haven't expected it for the past 19 years but no ones exactly been hammering on the door :frown:

*sighs*

Reply 7

Martyn1989

svdesi

Same situation here :frown:

Reply 8

svdesi

Teenie

I know what you mean. There is no knowing when it strikes. But, for some reason, meeting a girl at a college party just seems kinda...cliche. I just think I'll be more mature, as will the girl, after college.

I guess I'm just saying that I prefer it happens after college, but if it happens during, then so be it.

Reply 9

svdesi

Plus, all these questions about her drive me nuts! What's her name? What does she look like? What is she like? Is she Indian (I'm Indian, so, you know, there's a bit of a preference - not to be prejudiced or anything)?

Ack.