Worried about boyfriend + us

Hey, this may end up quite long so just bewarned.

Here's some facts, Me and my boyfriend live in a long distance relationship, I'm pregant and having an abortion this week, two weeks ago we booked a holiday over christmas together, we've been together nearly 9 months.

The problem, recently me and my boyfriend have been getting into silly arguments. only had a couple both both times it's made me extreamly upset and think about the relationship. I still love him but get the feeling we are not going to last very long. Arguments have been partly my fault I will admit and I said things I regret and shouldn't of however it was a 50-50 role.

I know his uner abit of stress at work at the moment but daily he moans about at least one person who's pissed him off that day.

Now I'm seemin to think getting pissed off with people he works with AND with me is saying he has a problem. Maybe the arguments arn't 50-50 and mainly him partly me.

I just don't know what to do. I'm seeing him in a couple of days time, he'll be here for 4 days as I'm having the operation.

I still love him and still want to be with him. He say's I'm everything to him and he doesn't want to loose me but I' not sure if I could stand another argument. Should I forget about it till after one huge factor is dealt with (abortion) and see what happends then?

I also can't afford to waste the plane tickets for our holiday and they are non refundable, non changeable so can't sell them on.

I'm feeling really down now, why the hell do we have partners? Sometimes I wish I was single...then again if I was single I would moan too wouldn't I???? :biggrin:

Reply 1

username47781

I think you both need to slow down and talk about all the issues that are making you both argue, i think the abortion hasn't help it seems to be a root of you both arguing. Somehow you both need to make time to see each other in person and discuss your problems and where you go from here

Reply 2

foxiroxi

Thanks. I am seeing him later this week, I know i've got to talk about it but he won't, he wants to just put it behind us and forget about it.

WIll try and talk to him face to face. Might make a difference. :smile:

Reply 3

Louenn

Agreed, you're going to be hormonally all over the place, and both of you emotionally all over the place because an abortion is a pretty big thing to go through. But then, having a baby is also a big step, and if you've both made the decision that it's not feasible right now, then you really ought to be supporting each other.

Talk things through in person, and keep on talking. If you both love each other, then you need to keep on working at it to keep the relationship going.

You definitely need to make the time for each other, and spend time together before you go away together. That way you can use the holiday as a celebration of the two of you, rather than hanging your hopes on it to fix the relationship. Does this make sense?

Reply 4

username47781

Well think also if she kept the baby, there is no way she could stay in uni, well anyway something would have to give anyway.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

There's no-way we could have the baby, for starters neither of us like children/babies, neither of us can support a child and I'm not giving up uni when I've only just started! The choice we made is right...it's just that we're having to go though it (you never think contraception will fail on you)

We try and spend as much time as possible together but he works mon-fri and I'm 200 miles north at uni. Not the best situation really.

We see eachother at least every two weeks for a weekend, but he also has his friends to visit at weekends so he goes between his friends and me. I can't stop him seeing them and I wouldn't dream of doing so.

I know I can't go on this holiday if we are still arguing and getting eachother upset. 3 weeks we will have to spend eachother, if I don't think we can I will just throw away the ticket and the money spent on it if I have too.