can't stop thinking about her

This subject is probably boring the pants off everyone now, but here goes anyway.

I've realised that I really like a girl in the newly formed group of friends I have at uni. Its getting to the point where I am dreaming of her, get dissappointed if I don't see her, and think about her a lot.

We are good friends, and talk and laugh a lot, although mostly as part of a larger group of people. I have a feeling she might like me in the way I like her, but she is a very friendly, warm person anyway so she might just be being herself.

My problem is that I want to take things further, but don't know how to get from here to there. I don't want to ask her out straight off, cos last time I asked a friend out, she said no, and we got a bit awkward around each other and drifted appart as friends. I just don't know what I can do, because I don't want to jeopardise our friendship, but it is painful to be in this state of limbo; of liking her but not knowing how she feels about me.

Reply 1

username47781

20

What you got to lose by asking.

Reply 2

Louenn

Ask her out. For a drink. Don't say "date" or anything. Just make it clear that it'll be just the two of you. And then see how it goes, and if it's gone well, at the end of the evening you may be able to feel if asking her for a "proper" date is more appropriate, or if she just likes you as a mate.

Good luck!

Reply 3

username47781

20

Well why not just go for a drink together first, see where that leads.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Her friendship. If it gets awkward between us it could make my whole friendship group awkward. So I have quite a lot to loose.

Reply 5

Squelchy

Anonymous

Her friendship. If it gets awkward between us it could make my whole friendship group awkward. So I have quite a lot to loose.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

He who dares, wins.

Reply 6

Louenn

Anonymous

Her friendship. If it gets awkward between us it could make my whole friendship group awkward. So I have quite a lot to loose.

Well, if you go for a drink, just the two of you, you might gain more of an idea of where she's coming from.

Reply 7

Teenie

1

carpe diem

Reply 8

kam

10

Just ask.

Doooo it.

Reply 9

xelprep

Do you know why you have to ask? Because otherwise you always have the "painful" situation which you've already described. If you do ask however then atleast you know your position and even if you do drift apart IF she says "no" then atleast you know in your mind and heart that you tried. You will also get over it, but how can you get over it if you havn't even attempted the hunt?

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

You are right, maybe. The question is, how is the best way? And what exactly to say?

For example, she's actually living in the room next door to me in halls, so I could just knock on her door and ask her (I knock on her door quite often just to pass the time of day anyway, as does she). But that might not be the best way to do things. Should I try to find the perfect situation, and if so, what is it?

Reply 11

xelprep

Anonymous

You are right, maybe. The question is, how is the best way? And what exactly to say?

For example, she's actually living in the room next door to me in halls, so I could just knock on her door and ask her (I knock on her door quite often just to pass the time of day anyway, as does she). But that might not be the best way to do things. Should I try to find the perfect situation, and if so, what is it?

How convenient. Just knock on her door when there's not too many others around or wait for when she knocks on yours. Go into one of your rooms and follow the advice of that girl above, something about asking if she wants to go for a drink making sure it would just be you two. Then if you think she's had a good time with you, offer to make another appointment... with romance.

Reply 12

username30638

13

Get a good DVD (something she is likely to enjoy) and ask her if she wants to come to your room and watch it with you.

The rest will take care of itself.

Reply 13

filastini

14

Don't ask her out.

Be close friends with her. Talk to her more, hang around with her more. Then, if something's meant to happen, it will. Also, you'd be more comfortable asking her or you'll have a better idea what she'd say if you get closer to her as a friend.

Don't mess it up by asking her out, become a genuine good friend. No-one can say you're only becoming a good friend because you want to go out with her, because you think she's a nice person anyway, so.

..Assuming you know how to get closer to someone as a friend.. :p:

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

So we met up for a drink. It was lovely in general, had a good chat about loads of things. When the subject of people pairing off at uni (not in reference to us) came up, she basically said she wasn't into that sort of thing at the moment.

So doesn't really look like much is gonna happen there. :frown:

But thanks for your advice everyone, anyhow. I think I'll do justfahren suggested and just remain good friends. Thats the most important thing in the end, anyway.

can't stop thinking about her

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