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Bf always moody after sex

Me and my boyfriend have been having sex for about 2 months now, and I'm starting to get a bit worried about the way he acts afterwards. Straight after he comes, he'll go and clean himself up, then just start getting dressed and everything again, kind of ignoring me. He gets these quiet moods soemtimes where he doesn't wanna talk much, and everytime he comes he seems to get into one of those. He hardly talks to me, and he almost acts like he's scared to show me affection. Usually he won't even give me a kiss afterwards. I know some men are supposed to feel tired after sex, but he almost seems to act like he's done something wrong, or like he feels guilty because I haven't had an orgasm yet (which isn't an issue for me, but I think it is for him). Am I asking too much when all I want is a cuddle or just lying together for a bit after we've had sex?
I'm definitely going to talk to him about it, but I don't really know whether it's something he can help, or if it's some sort of hormonal thing maybe?

Any advice / experience appreciated!
Cheers xxx

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It could be anything, from a bad experience in the past, or bad childhood, or maybe he feels dirty afterwards.
is he catholic? :p:

thats really quite odd. tell him you want a hug!!
Reply 3
tell him you won't have sex with him because ur worried it makes him miserable.

once he realises what he has lost he will be more freaking grateful next time!
Alice 00
tell him you won't have sex with him because ur worried it makes him miserable.

once he realises what he has lost he will be more freaking grateful next time!


why should he be grateful for sex? surely its a two way thing :rolleyes:
Alice 00
tell him you won't have sex with him because ur worried it makes him miserable.

once he realises what he has lost he will be more freaking grateful next time!


erm it's not that simple, you don't know the bigger issue.
Reply 6
high priestess fnord
why should he be grateful for sex? surely its a two way thing :rolleyes:



sex is a two way thing. well observed.

it is precisely becuse sex is a two way process, that the b/f can't have sex on his own. i'm sure he would be much happier and grateful for the opportunity to have sex with his g/f. yet at the moment the b/f attitude is making the g/f uncomfortable. she is not grateful or happy with this. imo the g/f should cool the sex until he becomes more grateful and realises he shouldn;t be so damn miserable.
Alice 00
sex is a two way thing. well observed.

it is precisely becuse sex is a two way process, that the b/f can't have sex on his own. i'm sure he would be much happier and grateful for the opportunity to have sex with his g/f. yet at the moment the b/f attitude is making the g/f uncomfortable. she is not grateful or happy with this. imo the g/f should cool the sex until he becomes more grateful and realises he shouldn;t be so damn miserable.


Yes but there could be a valid reason for this, obviously them two need to talk about it, not as simple as simply refusing it until he is grateful. By the way nice to see you back :rolleyes:
Alice 00
sex is a two way thing. well observed.

it is precisely becuse sex is a two way process, that the b/f can't have sex on his own. i'm sure he would be much happier and grateful for the opportunity to have sex with his g/f. yet at the moment the b/f attitude is making the g/f uncomfortable. she is not grateful or happy with this. imo the g/f should cool the sex until he becomes more grateful and realises he shouldn;t be so damn miserable.


or maybe she should just find out whats bothering him
Reply 9
It can't be a past experience, because we were both virgins before we started having sex together. He is quite a naturally moody person, and he does have moodswings, but he is always still loving to me, he just goes quiet. But after sex he's always the same, really off with me, and kind of like as if he doesn't want me to be there anymore. It is getting me down cos it's making me feel a bit used almost. As if he's fnished so now he's not interested. But then the next time I see him, like the next day or soemthing, he'll be completely back to normal.

Like I said, I'm going to talk to him, but I don't want to upset him, I just don't know whether it's normal!
Reply 10
He is Catholic btw, but somehow I doubt it's that!
Anonymous
Like I said, I'm going to talk to him, but I don't want to upset him, I just don't know whether it's normal!


its not at all normal. some people go an shower straight after sex but theres usually at least 5 mins cuddling and general relaxing. even with my shag buddies we have usually lain there for a while, just not so close.
Reply 12
Anonymous
It can't be a past experience, because we were both virgins before we started having sex together. He is quite a naturally moody person, and he does have moodswings, but he is always still loving to me, he just goes quiet. But after sex he's always the same, really off with me, and kind of like as if he doesn't want me to be there anymore. It is getting me down cos it's making me feel a bit used almost. As if he's fnished so now he's not interested. But then the next time I see him, like the next day or soemthing, he'll be completely back to normal.

Like I said, I'm going to talk to him, but I don't want to upset him, I just don't know whether it's normal!



see, i actually read the thread starter. There is no bigger issue or problem, he is just being miserable.

p.s I am really getting tired of people try to attack me for having a view.
Anonymous
It can't be a past experience, because we were both virgins before we started having sex together. He is quite a naturally moody person, and he does have moodswings, but he is always still loving to me, he just goes quiet. But after sex he's always the same, really off with me, and kind of like as if he doesn't want me to be there anymore. It is getting me down cos it's making me feel a bit used almost. As if he's fnished so now he's not interested. But then the next time I see him, like the next day or soemthing, he'll be completely back to normal.

Like I said, I'm going to talk to him, but I don't want to upset him, I just don't know whether it's normal!


Well it could still be something in his childhood thats bothering him
Reply 14
I do apologise if i have offende anyone.

This week has just been so hard: i had to dump a boyfriend and tell a good friend he was no longer needed. I am just a bit stressed.

Forgiven ???

x
Reply 15
try talking to him :smile:
Reply 16
Well I would say thankyou to anyone who gave me advice in this thread, because it's all useful even if I don't necessarily agree with it. And please don't anyone have a go at anyone else just because they don't share your opinion.

So I think the general gist is, I should ask him what's up, and I'm not being an unreasonable, clingy cow just because I want a bit more affection after sex?
Anonymous
Well I would say thankyou to anyone who gave me advice in this thread, because it's all useful even if I don't necessarily agree with it. And please don't anyone have a go at anyone else just because they don't share your opinion.

So I think the general gist is, I should ask him what's up, and I'm not being an unreasonable, clingy cow just because I want a bit more affection after sex?


Yeah just ask him whats wrong and just say you will listen to him and you will not judge him if he does tell you what the problem is. Good Luck
my ex used to get depressed/sad after he'd come....this usually lasted for about ten mins ....after which he got affectionate again...i was also worried and asked him is it was me etc..he said it just hit him...i looked it up on google at the time and came up with 'Some people report a feeling of undefined sadness after orgasm, called post coital tristesse' .i think its the sudden rush of chemicals in the body that might affects some boys differently

anyway, i tried to understand it by comparing it with PMS, sometimes you just cant help acting arsy and hormones are to blame.
perhapse google isnt the best way to diagnose soemthing...but it did exaplin how he could be depressed for only about ten mins after coming and then feel alot better.....it also helped to put my mind at ease and avoided us having arguments and confronting him about it and the relationship continued happily for a long time..so yeah