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He was SO into me one minute, incredibly distant the next! What have I done wrong?

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Jonathan

Sorry to burst your bubble but that sounds like typical teenage male cowardice. We've all done it at one time or another, been scared we're making a stupid mistake and just stupidly dropping all contact with her, but most of us grow out of it by the time we're about 16...

If he's a nice guy and it's going to work, then it can work. You shouldn't have to by rights, but you might have to make a romantic move or two from now on. Convince him that it is the right thing. If it still doesn't work, he's got some growing up to do and he's not worth it - this year, at least.

And I don't think he thinks you're a slut - and his inexperience slightly excuses his cowardice, so he's definitely worth a second shot IMO.

Don't actually mention it to him directly, by the way, and don't expect him to magically know that you're bothered about it, because we're not telepathic like women think we are... just make it easy and tempting for him to get close to you romantically (not just physically).

well said

Reply 21

Hanzing

Sam Beckett

Maybe because what you did made you seem easy...like a slut. No one likes a slut.

She did like second base on there second date, Geez most people sleep together after an hour of knowing each other. Each to there own I suppose but I wouldnt say the behaviour was at all slutty.

Reply 22

hehe_88

I told you, I HAVE asked him! And I just can't get anything out of him. He won't admit anything's wrong, but I know that it is, because he just doesn't contact me properly any more.

Reply 23

JimmyJJ

Maybe you're paranoid?

Get him drunk and then ask.

Reply 24

hehe_88

I'm so down. :frown:

I just can't tell what he's thinking, and I hardly ever get to see him because of his stupid uni work. I want to know that we're in an exclusive relationship, but I'd look like such a bunny boiler if I just asked him that.

Reply 25

hehe_88

MSN and texting? We do this, but see each other in person as well!!!!

Reply 26

hehe_88

We didn't have sex! I'm a virgin, and I intend to wait until I'm in a stable relationship.

Reply 27

HistoryStudent

Claire_Elizabeth

Why does it always have to be the girl?! It was as much the lad aswell!

That's very true, especially in this case.

Reply 28

hehe_88

Excuse me!! Back on track, please......! What do I say to him?

Reply 29

username47781

Not to mention he dumps his girlfriends on message boards

Reply 30

Hanzing

Sam Beckett

Its 'their' and I think it was. You're probably a slut too but all the girls I've been with its been a few months before we had sex. They have something called self respect.

This relationship is a faux relationship anyway. MSN and texting isn't how it works.

Wow, What a dazzling construction of an argument "You're probably a slut too" Because guess what, Im probably one of the least slutty people you would meet. Assumptions are dangerous when your trying to be as cutting as yourself, you just end up looking desperate to get one up on someone. People have different ideas of self respect and respect, however your apparent respect for the poster is abudantly clear. I pity the girls who end up with you.

(Isnt it sad when people pick grammatical mistakes? Seriously live a little.)

Reply 31

Philosoraptor

He took part too , it wasn't like he resisted and she forced herself on him!!

Reply 32

hehe_88

Not heard a word from him. It's so confusing. I have really strong feelings for this person, yet I've no idea where I stand.

Reply 33

hehe_88

Does ANYONE have any more advice??

Reply 34

Evil-Tuna

Next time you see him, just give him a big hug and if he's still distant, say ''omgz, ur lyke so cold and distant from me, its makes me wanna cry so much :frown:

and i have to go and tell this internet forum about it. why do you flout my feelings so much?''

Reply 35

Zoecb

It's the yo-yo effect. Most men do it. Cos they're useless.

Reply 36

kam

Get one of your mates to talk to him? Explaining how you're down and confused and maybe not sleeping properly/doing so well in your studies?
If that doesn't force him to talk to you next time you see him, he seriously just wants time alone.

Reply 37

Atomic Dave

hehe_88

Does ANYONE have any more advice??

Right as this seems to be going off the ball somewhat, I'll give you my take. I think he's nervous or something as this is the first time he's had any sort of "close encounters". I think you're gonna have to ask him bluntly why he's not texting you or whatever as much as he did before. Be sure to remind him that his reams of work didn't stop him before, so why now?

However, try and be a bit more gentle about it else it may sound confrontational and he'll probably feel real pressure to answer you.

Also, I think by the fact he's still texting you and spending a whole day with you shows IMO that he probably feels the same way as you, but is un-sure of what to do next.

Hope that helps :smile:

Reply 38

mr_person

He may be wanting to have someone to shag but having thoughts that he could do better. Hence the on-off treatment.

EDIT: Guys do this. We are collectively sorry :frown:

Reply 39

MissHero

Maybe he doesn't want to rush into an exclusive relationship within weeks of starting uni. If he says he wants to take things slowly... perhaps that's what he means! And maybe he does have lots of work?