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university/parents?

Ok sorry if this gets long-winded, I apologise now hehe but yes, I plan to do study in an English university and me coming from Northern Ireland does mean a fair bit of travelling which I don't mind.

But theres the thing. My mammy asked me what university choices did I have, and I said to her 'Liverpool and Manchester' and well he face dropped and now shes being extremely off with me :frown:

She wants me to stay at home 'just in case' and that 'You'll know people here at university, and you can come home anytime you want to - even better you should travel', but she's always steered my educational route and now she still thinks she can but after all I am 18 now and I do have to make my own decisions. My daddy he's kinda still a bit off about the situation as well - and I really don't know what to do...I applied for a course at the University of Ulster just to kinda keep her happy and it's not exactly something I really want to do and I really do think that she'll push for me to do that course - I really hate lying and keeping things from her, it just ends up hurting me more than her. I just don't know what to do anymore :frown:

Can anyone give any good advice please?

Reply 1

User68322

Its your choice, not theirs. I think you should just tell them that your old enough to take care of yourself, and if they wont support you, so be it. Well thats what I'd tell my parents >_>

Reply 2

Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX

OP

14

Milz661

Its your choice, not theirs. I think you should just tell them that your old enough to take care of yourself, and if they wont support you, so be it. Well thats what I'd tell my parents >_>

I just feel bad over it because it feels like I'm deserting them and they aren't making the decision easier either...

Reply 3

Talon

18

Dont feel bad. You have to do what is best for you and your education. They just dont want to lose you. Is there an interview for the ulster course? If so you can go there and fail it badly. You wont get in and your problems will be solved.

Reply 4

Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX

OP

14

Talon

Dont feel bad. You have to do what is best for you and your education. They just dont want to lose you. Is there an interview for the ulster course? If so you can go there and fail it badly. You wont get in and your problems will be solved.

No, as far as I am aware they don't exactly interview many students - so that kinda rules that one out :frown:

Reply 5

40550

2

take into account your parents ideas, but its got to be your choice. if you want to go to england - go. My mum came here (manchester) from northern ireland, when she was 19... and she still has strong links back there. Northern Ireland is great but... its good to have a chance to see other places.

Reply 6

mtbab

17

Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX

Ok sorry if this gets long-winded, I apologise now hehe but yes, I plan to do study in an English university and me coming from Northern Ireland does mean a fair bit of travelling which I don't mind.

But theres the thing. My mammy asked me what university choices did I have, and I said to her 'Liverpool and Manchester' and well he face dropped and now shes being extremely off with me :frown:

She wants me to stay at home 'just in case' and that 'You'll know people here at university, and you can come home anytime you want to - even better you should travel', but she's always steered my educational route and now she still thinks she can but after all I am 18 now and I do have to make my own decisions. My daddy he's kinda still a bit off about the situation as well - and I really don't know what to do...I applied for a course at the University of Ulster just to kinda keep her happy and it's not exactly something I really want to do and I really do think that she'll push for me to do that course - I really hate lying and keeping things from her, it just ends up hurting me more than her. I just don't know what to do anymore :frown:

Can anyone give any good advice please?

jsut say u got rejected from ulster, so off to manchester you go lol

Reply 7

Talon

18

Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX

No, as far as I am aware they don't exactly interview many students - so that kinda rules that one out :frown:

Ok...then phone up the admissions department and explain that you want them to reject you...or swear at them. Either's good.

That or work on your parents a bit more. My parents were dead set on me going to the local high school (not because it was close but because it was good) but they understood when I chose not to go there. I got good gcse results anyway so I think it was a good decision.

Reply 8

Teehar

10

firstly OMG, what did you do to your hair? :eek4:

secondly, parents always want what they think is best for you, but some parents are also very wary of their kids flying the coop. Whilst my mum greatly wanted me to stay in London, to the extent she encouraged me to go to a uni i didnt want to go to, I still made the choice independantly. I felt bad when I left, especially with how upset she was, however its the best decision I made and I dont regret it for one moment. There is no point in settling for a second rate uni because you can be closer to home, I would honestly do what your heart tells you and stay adament, your parents will hopefully come round

Reply 9

kam

10

Make your own choice, explain to them that they shouldn't hold you back from doing what you want to do.
It's not like they're not going to see you ever again is it?

Reply 10

Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX

OP

14

6+6=6

firstly OMG, what did you do to your hair? :eek4:

secondly, parents always want what they think is best for you, but some parents are also very wary of their kids flying the coop. Whilst my mum greatly wanted me to stay in London, to the extent she encouraged me to go to a uni i didnt want to go to, I still made the choice independantly. I felt bad when I left, especially with how upset she was, however its the best decision I made and I dont regret it for one moment. There is no point in settling for a second rate uni because you can be closer to home, I would honestly do what your heart tells you and stay adament, your parents will hopefully come round

Why whats wrong with my hair :angel:

I really don't know I just feel like a total **** when even bringing the subject up. When I was actually only visiting Liverpool....she apparently cried and complained for that whole weekend that I wasn't there and she rang me constant :frown:

I really don't know how I'll be able to make her change her mind :frown:

- Like my daddy can't exactly turn around and say I'm not allowed to go - he would be hypocritical as he went to Germany to live for 3-4 years when he was 18/19 - but I really just don't know what to do :frown:

Reply 11

lil groovy dude

14

6+6=6

firstly OMG, what did you do to your hair? :eek4:

secondly, parents always want what they think is best for you, but some parents are also very wary of their kids flying the coop. Whilst my mum greatly wanted me to stay in London, to the extent she encouraged me to go to a uni i didnt want to go to, I still made the choice independantly. I felt bad when I left, especially with how upset she was, however its the best decision I made and I dont regret it for one moment. There is no point in settling for a second rate uni because you can be closer to home, I would honestly do what your heart tells you and stay adament, your parents will hopefully come round

I think thats the best advice tamsy, what teehar just said :hugs:

good luck

xxx ^^

hows your scalp? :p:

Reply 12

Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX

OP

14

lil_groovy_dude

I think thats the best advice tamsy, what teehar just said :hugs:

good luck

xxx ^^

hows your scalp? :p:

hehe shush you about the scalp different problem here :p:

hehe!!!!!

Reply 13

FrenchGal

14

Give them time to get used to the idea. You've got the whole year. It is new to them if they were not expecting it. But do what you really want to go. And try and talk to them, tell them you realy need them to be more supportive. When I decided to move from France to Scotland, I'd never lived far away from home before. Of course my mum would rather have me living closer, but she's realised I was happy and that my decision was reasonable, and she's been ok, even after I've told her last month that I have no intention to come back to France to live at all.

Reply 14

yaypunkrock

You know that's a bit like me, my parents kinda hate the idea of me leaving home for uni (and really really don't want me to), though ironically my solution was to just not apply to any London uni's, hence no chance of me not leaving (I even applied for St Andrews, which is probably the furthest from London that do the course I want, or at least that I know of), lol.

Though I guess what I'm trying to say is it should be your choice right? being that it's your future and all :smile:

.

Reply 15

Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX

OP

14

FrenchGal

Give them time to get used to the idea. You've got the whole year. It is new to them if they were not expecting it. But do what you really want to go. And try and talk to them, tell them you realy need them to be more supportive. When I decided to move from France to Scotland, I'd never lived far away from home before. Of course my mum would rather have me living closer, but she's realised I was happy and that my decision was reasonable, and she's been ok, even after I've told her last month that I have no intention to come back to France to live at all.

Yeah maybe if I let them get used to the idea a little more. Even though I will feel absolutely rubbish after it I suppose I'm going to have to get a backbone and tell them what I want to do :frown:

Reply 16

oxygenbubbles

2

Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX

Ok sorry if this gets long-winded, I apologise now hehe but yes, I plan to do study in an English university and me coming from Northern Ireland does mean a fair bit of travelling which I don't mind.

But theres the thing. My mammy asked me what university choices did I have, and I said to her 'Liverpool and Manchester' and well he face dropped and now shes being extremely off with me :frown:

She wants me to stay at home 'just in case' and that 'You'll know people here at university, and you can come home anytime you want to - even better you should travel', but she's always steered my educational route and now she still thinks she can but after all I am 18 now and I do have to make my own decisions. My daddy he's kinda still a bit off about the situation as well - and I really don't know what to do...I applied for a course at the University of Ulster just to kinda keep her happy and it's not exactly something I really want to do and I really do think that she'll push for me to do that course - I really hate lying and keeping things from her, it just ends up hurting me more than her. I just don't know what to do anymore :frown:

Can anyone give any good advice please?

You have to do what makes YOU happy. It's you who'll be spending 3 or so years at a uni, not your parents. Explain to them that you'd rather move over to England and that you can get pretty cheap flights so could fly home to visit regularly. Not sure whether you remember or not, but I'm from NI too and I fly home every month or 2 to see my family. I talk to them most days and everything's fine. :smile:

It actually makes you appreciate one another more.

Reply 17

Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX

OP

14

oxygenbubbles

You have to do what makes YOU happy. It's you who'll be spending 3 or so years at a uni, not your parents. Explain to them that you'd rather move over to England and that you can get pretty cheap flights so could fly home to visit regularly. Not sure whether you remember or not, but I'm from NI too and I fly home every month or 2 to see my family. I talk to them most days and everything's fine. :smile:

It actually makes you appreciate one another more.

hehe yeah I remember you :p:

Yeah they know all about that but it's just my mammy being so worried about things and worrying about anything happening.

Reply 18

Sephrenia

16

6+6=6

firstly OMG, what did you do to your hair? :eek4:

secondly, parents always want what they think is best for you, but some parents are also very wary of their kids flying the coop. Whilst my mum greatly wanted me to stay in London, to the extent she encouraged me to go to a uni i didnt want to go to, I still made the choice independantly. I felt bad when I left, especially with how upset she was, however its the best decision I made and I dont regret it for one moment. There is no point in settling for a second rate uni because you can be closer to home, I would honestly do what your heart tells you and stay adament, your parents will hopefully come round

Hes got his priorities right as well :wink:

His advice is pretty sound as well...

Reply 19

wendizzle22

1

I think both you and her will eventually benefit if you go to england, as she seems to be over-protective at the moment but the more she has to deal with it, the easier it will get. My friend and my boyfriend both came over to Manchester from Northern Ireland for university and they still get to see their parents enough - flights to Ireland aren't too dear, she could always come to see you as well as the other way round.

My boyfriend found that Manchester was such a welcome change from Derry, he found there were so many more exciting experiences to be had here. Manchester has everything you'd need and isn't as daunting as London. The university transport is excellent too, never need to wait for a bus again!