getting engaged

Hi,
Im 18 and Ive been with my boyfriend for just over a year. We're always talking about after uni (hes just started first year, Im in year 13) and how we'll live together and hav children. I really want to get engaged now not get married but have a long engagement. My friend asked him about marriage and he said not until after uni so i dunno if that means he wouldnt mind getting engaged now. He's already said I cant propose as I asked him out.
Anyone got any ideas how I could bring up the subject without me proposing?

Reply 1

username47781

Really at the end of the day its about you and what you both want, remember engagement is a huge step in a relationship.

If i was in your shoes i would wait till after you both finish uni but it is up to you.

Reply 2

Mrs_F

You are meant to get engaged to be married - you might as well just wait until you are both finished university and are ready to settle down and then get engaged.

Reply 3

person 34

lol just don't do it love.

Reply 4

pumpkin7

notw; don't talk about the future. you're plans will probably never play out, even if you think you will be with this person forever.

Reply 5

kam

Save it til after University. No need to add a stressor to your student lives :wink:

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Does it REALLY matter? I mean being engaged and getting married is more of a formality isnt it? one of my friends parents have been happily "living" together for 16 years and never bothered to get married, but nothing meant that their relationship broke down...

Reply 7

TrentEnd

If it's meant to happen, and you're certain you'll still be together, you don't need to get engaged

Reply 8

Anonymous #3

Me and my boyfriend are at a similar stage (although we have decided we both don't want kids.)

His 21 in a ful time job and I'm 18 in my first year at uni on a 4 year course. We have spoken about hhow we want to spend the rest of our lives together, but we have decided we will not get engaged or married till after I have finished uni and found a job and settled. He doesn't believe in long engagements although I would, seccretly really like to be engaged now as a way of showing our love to eachother and everyone else however at the same time I'm happy to wait, If we can be boyfriend and girlfriend for another 4-5 years I think we'll last long enough :smile:

You won't love him more or less either way. Just wait, see how things go :smile:

Reply 9

LadyEnglish

I think you're too young and he will have a lot on his mind. Wait til after uni like everyone else has said when you will both have a decent degree and good job opportunities between yourselves :smile:

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

thats good advice thanks guys. I think im getting caught up in the moment cos a girl in my year has just got engaged to a 31 year old and another friend is 19 and getting married next year.
I totally agree with the other anonymous post about waiting 4-5 years wont be any different.
I think we should take things as they come. cheers again
night night xx

Reply 11

Anonymous #3

Glad you have decided to take it as it comes. Just remember what will be will be and if anything waiting means your more likly to know eachother better, be more in love and stronger to be able to cope with the step of getting engaged and then married.

However nice it would be to get engaged young! :biggrin:

Think I only want it for the ring personally to shhow off to everyone that I'm in love in a serious relationship.

Reply 12

Fleece

Well I'm glad you were so serious about being engaged, that it took 9 posts on a forum for you to change your mind :rolleyes:

Reply 13

high priestess fnord

dont do it if you value what youve got

me and my bf have talked about this stuff abit and want to get married eventually but im not ready to get married yet so he has to share this opinion too :p: