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Bah... what did I do to deserve this?

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Reply 1

ur right love does suck.

love is a major gamble: it can be the greatest thing in the world or it can break any man.

anyway, the distance between u and this lady friend is a problem in one respect but it is also a benefit. I have found in the past that, loving someone and dealing with rejection is so much harder when u cannot escape from that person.

u can escape from this girl if everything mucks up, so there is not a huge amount to lose in confessing ur feelings. that is why i would advice u to confess ur feelings to her, esp if u really feel u need to.

the next Q is then how and when u should tell her. In my view i think u should just keep it relaxed and pop into the conversation at some point that u are really gratefulu have someone like her to talk to, and see what she says. if she responds well then move on the conversation bit by bit slowing expressing how much u like her, and only continuing to do so if she keeps responding that she feels a similar way.

x

Reply 2

a_t

16

forget about her

get out more and meet people who live in the same country as you

you're anti social? well then that's what you did to deserve this, rather than meet real girls you make "friends" online

Reply 3

JimmyJJ

What do you mean you 'suffer' from being antisocial. That's self inflicted my friend.

You've never met this girl.

You're not in love. You think you are, and for that i am sorry.

Get over it and meet a 'real' girl.

Reply 4

username81886

1

To be fair, I tell people on this site waaaaay more than my non-virtual friends.
Makrs you think you're in love with them.
Just desperation really.

Reply 5

404

OP

Alice 00

In my view i think u should just keep it relaxed and pop into the conversation at some point that u are really gratefulu have someone like her to talk to, and see what she says. if she responds well then move on the conversation bit by bit slowing expressing how much u like her, and only continuing to do so if she keeps responding that she feels a similar way.

I like that idea. Thank you. :smile:

JimmyJJ

What do you mean you 'suffer' from being antisocial. That's self inflicted my friend.

Self inflicted... maybe so, but for a perfectly good reason. I don't feel I should follow the 'trend' and be hypnotized by this rediculous chav culture every youth under the sun seems to be following right now purely for the sake of socialization, so naturally, society has rejected me. I can be different if I want.

Reply 6

a_t

16

404

Self inflicted... maybe so, but for a perfectly good reason. I don't feel I should follow the 'trend' and be hypnotized by this rediculous chav culture every youth under the sun seems to be following right now purely for the sake of socialization, so naturally, society has rejected me. I can be different if I want.

Its the chavs who are the antisocial ones though, thats why they have all those behavioural orders.

And there is a notable difference in following trends and being anti social.

Reply 7

forpolarbears

17

Hmm...well I've been very attracted to someone who I met but lived far away (5,000 km or so), but he didn't want to keep in touch for that reason.

I have a close friend 2,000 km or so away, and whenever I talk on MSN to him, I completely block out how he was when I knew him (we met at nerd camp at Stanford university, hahaha), and deal with him as just someone to talk to. Because I know I can't rekindle anything between him.

Reply 8

JimmyJJ

404

I like that idea. Thank you. :smile:

Self inflicted... maybe so, but for a perfectly good reason. I don't feel I should follow the 'trend' and be hypnotized by this rediculous chav culture every youth under the sun seems to be following right now purely for the sake of socialization, so naturally, society has rejected me. I can be different if I want.

Ridiculous chav culture? I can't see what point you're trying to make. What exactly is the 'trend'?

You're not different, no one is 'different', you're just admittedly anti social.

Fair enough, your life your choice, but being purposefully anti-social will get you nowhere. You will have to support yourself one day.

Reply 9

Louenn

Those of you telling the OP to just go out and get a life and meet a real girl have obviously forgotten that when you're still in school, it's not as easy as that if you're not part of the "in crowd".

Unless you were all lucky enough to actually be the "in crowd", in which case, you've plainly not stopped bullying those who wish to stand out from the crowd and not conform to the silly rules that "the crowd" follows.

To the OP: I agree with what Alice 00 says, and how to go about telling the girl. But you do need to work out how you can meet some more like-minded people who are nearer to you. You can't just wait until you go to Uni, you need to bite the bullet before you get there to gain some self confidence. Are there any clubs or societies you could join, or activities you could take up, where the emphasis isn't so much on the socialising side of things? Like taking up a martial art or joining a rowing club, for example. Find out what goes on in your area, and give a variety of things a try - usually they'll offer a free first lesson for a martial arts class, and quite probably for most other types of sport, so you won't lose anything financially until you decide to commit.

Reply 10

foxiroxi

10

To give you some hope...

I emt my boyfriend over the internet 5+ years ago. He lived over in thailand, I was in UK. We started developing feelings for eachother but nothing serious was said about it.

He then came to live in the UK (ok he was born here and this is his home country but he still came back to the UK) 2 years later we finnaly met up and it's working out.

But you never know one day she might end up in the UK or you miht end up in america once you've got out of education :smile:

Reply 11

froggi

despite what everyones saying, she is still a human being and if you have feelings for each other then get her told man! Yeah she might be alittle freaked out like you said, but at least its off your chest and you can discuss whats going on. Believe me, built up feelings for someone can hurt a hell of a lot - regardless of what country they are in.

Reply 12

Wangers

16

sure, tell her - just think what you mean by love though

and if you dont - you'll always regret it

Reply 13

WokSz

17

Love is bitter and sweet. Well, I think opening up to her is the best because at least you'll know for certain if she likes you as well. However, don't go all out and say you love her - that will freak her out. I suggest you tell her slowly that you have feelings for her.

Reply 14

Sithius

16

90% of the time relationships that begin over the internet never survive when the couple meet up in real life.

Reply 15

Fleece

15

It's not love, it's dependence.

Reply 16

--

3

Fleece

It's not love, it's dependence.

No, no, its just sad. :smile:

Reply 17

Convalescent

Why are you attacking him so needlessly? Is it because of the panic surrounding the internet?

Reply 18

JimmyJJ

Sithius

90% of the time relationships that begin over the internet never survive when the couple meet up in real life.

Where exactly did you get that statistic?

3232 is right. It's sad. BUT, it's his life.

404 sounds like a classic spoilt misguided middleclass youth. Speaking about his 'troubles' like he's an African refugee.

Reply 19

xNishx

Think you need to think about it realistically, if shes an online "mate" then leave her as that, get out and try and socialize, its not as hard as you probably think it is to makes new friends

Bah... what did I do to deserve this?

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