Boyfriend woes...

I'm really upset and don't know who to turn to, i recently had an abortion because i fell pregnant (i'm still with my boyfriend) but i'm so down about it and it made me question whether or not i want to be with my boyfriend. He's so great to be around but i'm not sure if he gives me enough emotional support...
I had a fit the other day as well which has freaked me out as i'm not sure how i am health wise, so whilst being realy upset i spoke to my ex boyfriend about the whole situation (including the abortion which was really hard to talk about) and he was really nice to me and supportive and made me feel better and the advice h gave me was that i should be with someone that i don't question how i feel about...which is what i do about my current boyfriend, but im so confused and so upset about the whole situation right now i don't know what to do :frown:

Reply 1

username47781

20

I think this is normal after an abortion, you are confused and upset emotionally, maybe your boyfriend feels just as bad deep down, maybe you both need to talk and decide where you both go from here.

Reply 2

Louenn

Carl1982

I think this is normal after an abortion, you are confused and upset emotionally, maybe your boyfriend feels just as bad deep down, maybe you both need to talk and decide where you both go from here.

Agreed.

And the ex will have been helpful and supportive, but was also being very underhand in saying you need to be with someone "that i don't question how i feel about" because, as he's your ex, he's probably doing the "if I can't have her I don't want anyone to have her" thing.

When you talk to your b/f, do tell him that you spoke to your ex about it, but don't tell him everything that your ex said - leave out the bit I've quoted. It will not help the situation. It's best he finds out from you that you spoke to your ex, rather than hearing it on the grapevine.

Can I ask why you told your ex about the situation?

Reply 3

Jonquil

10

have a chat with your boyfriend and let him know how your feeling, thats really the only thing you can do. does you not being sure about your boyfriend have anything to do with the ex you were speaking to?

Reply 4

username47781

20

It is possible your ex could be saying that so he can worm his way back in your life while you are at your most vulnerable.

Maybe you and your boyfriend should perhaps speak to a counsellor or another kind of helpline.

Reply 5

foxiroxi

10

How long was it since your abortion and how supportive though it was your boyfriend?

Maybe it's just your feeling down/upset about the abortion or maybe you feel resentment against your boyfriend that he didn't support you though it?

If the abortion wasn't long ago I would leave it a while and see how your feelings go first, Emotions are a horrible thing and when mixed with hormones...well....

If you were questionning your relationship with your boyfriend BEFORE you found out you were pregnant then I advise you to think about bringing the relationship to an end in the most rash of choices or talking to your boyfriend about it.

take care. :smile:

Reply 6

tinkerbellejess

13

I can't believe you turned to your ex for advice on your current relationship!

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

tinkerbellejess

I can't believe you turned to your ex for advice on your current relationship!

helpful, but i was with my ex for 3 years and he's still a good friend.I know it wasnt the best thing to do but i feel really alone.

My boyfriend wasn't very supportive through the abortion, he wasn't unsupportive but he wasn't as good as he could've been and so turning to someone who knows how to support me was easier.

Boyfriend woes...

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