The Student Room Group

Advice please should I drop out of uni?

So I'm currently at university and doing a economics degree whilst there are some aspects of the course I like, there's quite a lot more that I actually hate! The more I think of the work/exams I have it's just makes me feel depressed and it stresses me out. I feel like I rushed the whole Uni process and application (and so course choice) and I didn't have much time to think because we had a college deadline to meet but I ideally I wanted to stud py history at uni.

But on the plus side I have made some of the best friends and have a really good friendship group and i love the social life at uni compared to back home where I drifted apart from my college friends. It's just The more I think about it, I really can't see myself studying this course for the next couple of years of my life.

It's really awkward because when everyone at home and my family ask how uni and the course is I always say it's going really great and I'm loving it ( In reality I'm always thinking I hate it, and wish I took history at uni). The only problem is when I told my family I wanted to do history ( last year), we looked at the job prospects and they were pretty low with jobs such as museum manager etc, so they've always been against me doing history 100% (even though deep down they know that's what I really want). The fact that my brother did medicine doesn't help either as my parents always compare us! But I did work hard and they are really proud of me for getting into uni!

But as soon as I tell them I want to drop out, I feel like they're going to be so disappointed and even my grandad was saying how proud he was of me for going to uni ( my cousin who's my age is currently sponging of his parents with no job) I just can't have the confidence to say "look I've made a big mistake and I hate my course and what to study history". The only issue with history is that I really don't know what I would do with it, I have thought about teaching though! The history course at my uni doesn't really appeal to me so I would have to apply elsewhere ( there's 4 courses/unis. I like )

So I'm not sure what to do? I feel like I've let so many people down! Even my form tutor is proud of my hard work and efforts that she's put me as an example in the college prospectus saying I'm studying economics at uni. So even asking for her advice is uncomfortable. Should I drop out? How do I tell my parents?


My uni friends think I should apply to study history but carry on semester 2 to see if it improves? But then I need to do the ucas application and get a reference who would be my form tutor but I'd feel like such a letdown and failure :frown:

I really don't know what to do or who to tell so some advice and support would be nice please:smile:



Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 1
Original post by Hi2015
So I'm currently at university and doing a economics degree whilst there are some aspects of the course I like, there's quite a lot more that I actually hate! The more I think of the work/exams I have it's just makes me feel depressed and it stresses me out. I feel like I rushed the whole Uni process and application (and so course choice) and I didn't have much time to think because we had a college deadline to meet but I ideally I wanted to stud py history at uni.

But on the plus side I have made some of the best friends and have a really good friendship group and i love the social life at uni compared to back home where I drifted apart from my college friends. It's just The more I think about it, I really can't see myself studying this course for the next couple of years of my life.

It's really awkward because when everyone at home and my family ask how uni and the course is I always say it's going really great and I'm loving it ( In reality I'm always thinking I hate it, and wish I took history at uni). The only problem is when I told my family I wanted to do history ( last year), we looked at the job prospects and they were pretty low with jobs such as museum manager etc, so they've always been against me doing history 100% (even though deep down they know that's what I really want). The fact that my brother did medicine doesn't help either as my parents always compare us! But I did work hard and they are really proud of me for getting into uni!

But as soon as I tell them I want to drop out, I feel like they're going to be so disappointed and even my grandad was saying how proud he was of me for going to uni ( my cousin who's my age is currently sponging of his parents with no job) I just can't have the confidence to say "look I've made a big mistake and I hate my course and what to study history". The only issue with history is that I really don't know what I would do with it, I have thought about teaching though! The history course at my uni doesn't really appeal to me so I would have to apply elsewhere ( there's 4 courses/unis. I like )

So I'm not sure what to do? I feel like I've let so many people down! Even my form tutor is proud of my hard work and efforts that she's put me as an example in the college prospectus saying I'm studying economics at uni. So even asking for her advice is uncomfortable. Should I drop out? How do I tell my parents?


My uni friends think I should apply to study history but carry on semester 2 to see if it improves? But then I need to do the ucas application and get a reference who would be my form tutor but I'd feel like such a letdown and failure :frown:

I really don't know what to do or who to tell so some advice and support would be nice please:smile:



Posted from TSR Mobile


Hi,

Sorry to hear that things aren't going well for you and that you've been having a difficult time.

You have mentioned your interest in history and the fact that you would like to do that but you're concerned about the job prospects. However, getting a job doesn't really have that much to do with what you study at university as it's about all of the other things that you do with your time whilst you're there. If you're really not liking your course then it's unlikely that you will take full advantage of the options available to you at uni and this is what will get you a job in the long term, not the name of the subject on your certificate. Secondly, if you really don't like your course it is unlikely that you will do as well as in something that you actually like meaning what could be a first class degree in one subject may turn into a 2:i or lower in another subject. In the long term the degree classification really won't mean much but it could do for getting your first job as so many graduate schemes require X degree classification as a way of filtering out applicants.

In terms of the jobs that people go onto do after a certain degree, it's generally self selective due to the nature of the programme. People who enjoy history are more likely to take a job in a museum than someone who studied economics simply down to personal interest. Likewise, someone who studied economics is more likely to end up in the financial industry as that's what they're interested in... and consequently, some jobs do pay more than others, so the starting salary of an economics graduate is likely to be higher simply down to self selection as they generally apply for roles that happen to have a higher starting salary than a history graduate. That's not because history graduates are "worth less" - it's simply down to interests and the salary differences across certain sectors. Likewise, even if you do graduate with a degree in economics it is unlikely that you will then be jumping to join the finance industry if you're not enjoying it at only one term in. Therefore it's likely that due to your interests you will be chasing after similar jobs to a history graduate anyway - and it's not to say that a history graduate couldn't go off into an economics related role anyway as for the vast majority of graduate entry roles you just need a good degree. Have you had any thoughts about what you would like to do after uni? It's okay if not, most people don't know and/or change their mind.

At the moment it sounds like you're in a position where you feel like you can't tell your parents or family how you really feel about your course as you say that they will be disappointed, is that right? What do you think they would be more disappointed about long term - that you carried on with something that you really didn't enjoy just to please them or that you asked for their help in making it right? One of the hardest things to do in life is to tell someone that you made a mistake because it's so much harder to admit this than to carry on pretending that everything is fine. If you're struggling to do that after a couple of months, then you're going to really struggle to keep this going for another two and a half years.

In terms of what to do now it sounds like what you need is time and options. Right now you do not need to make any big decisions like telling your uni that you are definitely not going back unless you really want to do so. I assume you have already paid for your accommodation and are committed to that for the end of the academic year, so you may as well go back to your current uni in January and start making plans to move elsewhere. It sounds like you've done a fair amount of research and have a good idea of where you would like to apply to for your new course. I would advise making an application to these courses and seeing what happens. It will only cost you the price of a UCAS application, and then you will know where you stand. You may get to the end of the year and decide to come back to your economics course in September and that's completely fine - all you'll have lost is just over £20 and had some time to think.

Telling your parents that you have made a new application and have some offers at some other universities to do a course that you want to do shows a lot of positive aspects - your plan is not to "live at home and sponge off your parents with no job" and if you go to them with a clear plan they will know that this is the case. How does that sound to you? Your granddad will be proud of you as you are at uni and it's clear from your post that you want to continue to be at uni, just at a different one to where you are now... that's all it is and their opinions of you will not change.

In terms of references, you can either ask someone from your school or someone from your uni now if you don't want to share your application plan with school. When are you going back to uni in January? Is there a tutor that you could contact before then?

Good luck :smile:
several of my friends' children have dropped out of university and my own child decided to change their mind about what they wanted to apply for at the last minute. It is something you'd prefer to avoid but I don't know anyone who hasn't supported their child through a change. Your parents want you to be happy and if your course is making you miserable then you need to say that and talk about what to do next. Although you have committed to pay for your accommodation it's possible there would be students who didn't get a room in hall who would like to move in. I don't know about the fee position but you possibly would not have to pay the full year. You could leave now and reapply but if you are going to go next September you need to get your skates on. You could look at getting a job from now until September.

Only about 30% of jobs require a specific degree. At Oxbridge history students sometimes move into law, for example. You can do things like consultancy, event management, training, sales.

It's a pity the history course at your uni doesn't interest you as it's often possible to change course and stay in the same accommodation/ with your friendship group.

It is your life and if you want to drop out tell your parents that then get started on talking to your college about the best way to minimise the financial damage. As that will probably involve not returning after this holiday also start looking for a job.
Email your Personal Tutor and ask if you can speak to them asap as you are thinking about dropping out.

All tutors will be monitoring their email inboxes over the holidays and they take their 'pastoral' role seriously so will want to help you regardless of it being Christmas holidays. Ask them to call you (or can you call them) so you can talk this over. Or call your Uni Helpline/Nightline/Counselling service - again this will be monitored over Christmas - you arent the first person to have a wobble during their time at Uni and help is there to help you. Do it today.
Reply 5
Original post by oxymoronic
Hi,

Sorry to hear that things aren't going well for you and that you've been having a difficult time.

You have mentioned your interest in history and the fact that you would like to do that but you're concerned about the job prospects. However, getting a job doesn't really have that much to do with what you study at university as it's about all of the other things that you do with your time whilst you're there. If you're really not liking your course then it's unlikely that you will take full advantage of the options available to you at uni and this is what will get you a job in the long term, not the name of the subject on your certificate. Secondly, if you really don't like your course it is unlikely that you will do as well as in something that you actually like meaning what could be a first class degree in one subject may turn into a 2:i or lower in another subject. In the long term the degree classification really won't mean much but it could do for getting your first job as so many graduate schemes require X degree classification as a way of filtering out applicants.

In terms of the jobs that people go onto do after a certain degree, it's generally self selective due to the nature of the programme. People who enjoy history are more likely to take a job in a museum than someone who studied economics simply down to personal interest. Likewise, someone who studied economics is more likely to end up in the financial industry as that's what they're interested in... and consequently, some jobs do pay more than others, so the starting salary of an economics graduate is likely to be higher simply down to self selection as they generally apply for roles that happen to have a higher starting salary than a history graduate. That's not because history graduates are "worth less" - it's simply down to interests and the salary differences across certain sectors. Likewise, even if you do graduate with a degree in economics it is unlikely that you will then be jumping to join the finance industry if you're not enjoying it at only one term in. Therefore it's likely that due to your interests you will be chasing after similar jobs to a history graduate anyway - and it's not to say that a history graduate couldn't go off into an economics related role anyway as for the vast majority of graduate entry roles you just need a good degree. Have you had any thoughts about what you would like to do after uni? It's okay if not, most people don't know and/or change their mind.

At the moment it sounds like you're in a position where you feel like you can't tell your parents or family how you really feel about your course as you say that they will be disappointed, is that right? What do you think they would be more disappointed about long term - that you carried on with something that you really didn't enjoy just to please them or that you asked for their help in making it right? One of the hardest things to do in life is to tell someone that you made a mistake because it's so much harder to admit this than to carry on pretending that everything is fine. If you're struggling to do that after a couple of months, then you're going to really struggle to keep this going for another two and a half years.

In terms of what to do now it sounds like what you need is time and options. Right now you do not need to make any big decisions like telling your uni that you are definitely not going back unless you really want to do so. I assume you have already paid for your accommodation and are committed to that for the end of the academic year, so you may as well go back to your current uni in January and start making plans to move elsewhere. It sounds like you've done a fair amount of research and have a good idea of where you would like to apply to for your new course. I would advise making an application to these courses and seeing what happens. It will only cost you the price of a UCAS application, and then you will know where you stand. You may get to the end of the year and decide to come back to your economics course in September and that's completely fine - all you'll have lost is just over £20 and had some time to think.

Telling your parents that you have made a new application and have some offers at some other universities to do a course that you want to do shows a lot of positive aspects - your plan is not to "live at home and sponge off your parents with no job" and if you go to them with a clear plan they will know that this is the case. How does that sound to you? Your granddad will be proud of you as you are at uni and it's clear from your post that you want to continue to be at uni, just at a different one to where you are now... that's all it is and their opinions of you will not change.

In terms of references, you can either ask someone from your school or someone from your uni now if you don't want to share your application plan with school. When are you going back to uni in January? Is there a tutor that you could contact before then?

Good luck :smile:


Hi,

Thank you for your help and advice I really appreciate it,it's so reassuring and it's nice to hear someone's else's viewpoint and someone to be supportive :smile:

I've tried telling my mum (I dislike my course) but she thinks I'm just saying that due to upcoming exams. I'm defiantly going to apply for history ( I like the course content at sheffiled and queens mary and I meet their entry requirements) , I'm currently writing a new personal statement and I guess I'll have to ask my form tutor to write me a reference ( I know she'll understand but I just feel like such a let down) .

In terms of careers I have no idea which is why I choose economics because it kept my options open! I'm thinking of going into marketing or something in business.


I'm going to carry on with my second semester to see if I'm course improves but if not, I plan to leave by mid February! (Not looking forward to telling my family at all)


Thank you-once again:smile:


Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 6
Original post by parentlurker
several of my friends' children have dropped out of university and my own child decided to change their mind about what they wanted to apply for at the last minute. It is something you'd prefer to avoid but I don't know anyone who hasn't supported their child through a change. Your parents want you to be happy and if your course is making you miserable then you need to say that and talk about what to do next. Although you have committed to pay for your accommodation it's possible there would be students who didn't get a room in hall who would like to move in. I don't know about the fee position but you possibly would not have to pay the full year. You could leave now and reapply but if you are going to go next September you need to get your skates on. You could look at getting a job from now until September.

Only about 30% of jobs require a specific degree. At Oxbridge history students sometimes move into law, for example. You can do things like consultancy, event management, training, sales.

It's a pity the history course at your uni doesn't interest you as it's often possible to change course and stay in the same accommodation/ with your friendship group.

It is your life and if you want to drop out tell your parents that then get started on talking to your college about the best way to minimise the financial damage. As that will probably involve not returning after this holiday also start looking for a job.


Hi,

Thank you for your help and advice I really appreciate it :smile:

I've tried telling my mum (I dislike my course) but she thinks I'm just saying that due to upcoming exams. I'm defiantly going to apply for history ( I like the course content at sheffiled and queens mary and I meet their entry requirements) , I'm currently writing a new personal statement and I guess I'll have to ask my form tutor to write me a reference ( I know she'll understand but I just feel like such a let down) .


I'm going to carry on with my second semester to see if I'm course improves but if not, I plan to leave by mid February! (Not looking forward to telling my family at all)

It's just more of the fact I'm scared I've let my parents down, they are constantly comparing me to my brother:frown:



Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 7
Original post by sydneybridge
Email your Personal Tutor and ask if you can speak to them asap as you are thinking about dropping out.

All tutors will be monitoring their email inboxes over the holidays and they take their 'pastoral' role seriously so will want to help you regardless of it being Christmas holidays. Ask them to call you (or can you call them) so you can talk this over. Or call your Uni Helpline/Nightline/Counselling service - again this will be monitored over Christmas - you arent the first person to have a wobble during their time at Uni and help is there to help you. Do it today.


I've spoke to my personal tutor early December, and he really wasn't helpful and he didn't have much to say:frown:

But I may email him for advice :smile:


Thank you :smile:


Posted from TSR Mobile
your form tutor will probably have been through this before. It's your life and you need to be thinking about how you will live it.

If your brother is going to be a doctor he has 5 years of study and then more years as a junior doctor. Your parents may not be comparing you as much as you think, more worrying about if he will survive a demaning course and trying to reassure themselves.

There are other people at your university you might talk to if you go back - students union, welfare services, even the chaplain. Chaplains see people of any faith and aethiests. If you do go back completing the year and passing your exams would give you a sense of achievement but if you are going to drop out I suspect there are financial benefits to doing this now and getting a job.

If you are really nervous about telling your family perhaps enlist the support of your brother, an older relative (grandparent) or perhaps a cousin.
Original post by Hi2015
Hi,

Thank you for your help and advice I really appreciate it :smile:

I've tried telling my mum (I dislike my course) but she thinks I'm just saying that due to upcoming exams. I'm defiantly going to apply for history ( I like the course content at sheffiled and queens mary and I meet their entry requirements) , I'm currently writing a new personal statement and I guess I'll have to ask my form tutor to write me a reference ( I know she'll understand but I just feel like such a let down) .


I'm going to carry on with my second semester to see if I'm course improves but if not, I plan to leave by mid February! (Not looking forward to telling my family at all)

It's just more of the fact I'm scared I've let my parents down, they are constantly comparing me to my brother:frown:



Posted from TSR Mobile


A perfect typo in the circumstances! :smile:
If you don't like it then drop out ASAP and reapply next year for a history degree. You don't want to still be there a few years from now regretting that you never dropped out
Original post by Hi2015
Hi,

Thank you for your help and advice I really appreciate it :smile:

I've tried telling my mum (I dislike my course) but she thinks I'm just saying that due to upcoming exams. I'm defiantly going to apply for history ( I like the course content at sheffiled and queens mary and I meet their entry requirements) , I'm currently writing a new personal statement and I guess I'll have to ask my form tutor to write me a reference ( I know she'll understand but I just feel like such a let down) .


I'm going to carry on with my second semester to see if I'm course improves but if not, I plan to leave by mid February! (Not looking forward to telling my family at all)

It's just more of the fact I'm scared I've let my parents down, they are constantly comparing me to my brother:frown:


That sounds like you have a good plan - your form tutor will certainly not think that you're a let down as you're certainly not the only 18/19 year old in the world to have changed their mind. Just take a look at TSR for proof of that! The problems generally always arise when people try to pretend that everything is okay, whereas you're taking a more mature approach of identifying the problem then going out to solve it.

If all of the decisions we made whilst we were in sixth form had to stay with us for life then I imagine the world would be a completely different place! With regards to your brother - medics have an incredibly easy life. They essentially go through the early stages of their career post university in a similar way to UCAS - you fill out applications, get ranked, take some exams and then get handed a job. There's much more structure and much less uncertainty than with the "normal" path which people on the outside can see as a great thing as medics always seem to be successful and have a plan, but in reality it is also quite scary - especially if people start thinking they haven't quite made the best decision.

What I would say with regards to leaving is that you may wish to see out the end of the academic year, having made plans for going somewhere else in September. I say this simply because you will still have to pay the tuition for the year regardless of whether you are there or not and likewise, you may also still have to pay for accommodation depending on your tenancy agreement. This may or may not be a concern to you depending on your personal situation and view point, but if you've made it to February then it's likely that there's only a month or two of lectures left then exams by that point. If you pass the first year you will be entitled to a Cert HE award which you will be able to add onto your qualifications listing in the future. You may find this a useful addition if you do end up looking for jobs in business/management/marketing as it will show you have a quantitative ability.... even if you don't actually like the course!

I know it's really hard to think so right now but in 5-10 years time (or more!) whether you left university and restarted another course really isn't going to make any difference to how your family perceive you. However it may well make a difference to the degree classification you obtained, the experiences you had whilst at university and your early career post university which is why you need to see this as a positive thing rather than you doing something bad. If you were in your mum's position in 20 years time, what would you want your child to be doing/thinking if they were in your position? Chances are, your mum will be thinking the same thing right now.

Quick Reply

Latest