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    About five years ago, I was looking through the history on the family computer trying to find a something for myself, I was shocked to see certain Adult Cam sites in that list, I assumed it was just a bit of fun as he was bored etc.

    I started to get suspicious when he was always going to 'leaving do's' at work, to the point where there was about ten in 2 months. Rightly, or wrongly, I went into his emails and found emails from a website called Adultwork. Obviously I went to the website logged in and discovered a whole host of messages to escorts about availability. I also found that he had already had previous bookings with escorts. He has spent like £4000 to date, I know its his money from his own job but to spend it like this just is disgusting.

    I don't know what to do any more, its killing me inside knowing what he is doing, I used to love and respect my dad but now I can barely talk to him. He has these huge mood swings and gets angry really easily, meaning my parents are always arguing too. I'm too scared to confront him or tell my mum about it because I know it will ruin everything for our family.

    I wish I had never found out, but I do

    Please help

    Thanks
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    This happened to me a few months ago. I found my dad was cheating and he told me nothing was going on so I dropped it and didn't tell my mum about it

    3 months down the line my dad left the family home but didn't tell my mum about cheating he just claimed he didn't love her anymore, so I told her what I found. I wish that I told her sooner so that it could of stopped and maybe given my mum and dad chance to work things out.

    It's a horrible position to be put in and you don't need to keep it in. It stressed me out for months, made me fail my exams etc etc. If I could go back I would have told my mum straight what I found, you might be scared of it breaking the family up, but the chances are if he's doing that it's going to break up eventually already.. It's a horrible thing to go through, but you'll get through it and come out stronger Just don't keep it in, your mum deserves to know

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    There's two sides to every story. Maybe your mom is refusing to sleep with him. You never know.

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    Look outside the box, in this situation see your Mum as a friend rather than 'your Mum'.

    She has the right to know what's happening behind her back, if you tell your Mum what your Dad has done and he leaves/she kicks him out, that doesn't mean you have torn your family apart. Your Dad has done that by spreading some next woman's legs. He lacks respect for your Mum and that's unfair on her.

    Tell your Mum, do her a favour and let her make the decision as to what she does next. If you don't tell her, she will find out one day and believe me it'l hurt a lot more if she realises you knew and said nothing. She will feel mugged off.
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    I'd tell her. Man, my best friend's dad cheated on his mother for many years and she even knew but she mostly chose to do nothing about it till the end. If I was him I would have had at his dad. I would immediately lose all respect for my dad if I found out that he had been cheating on my mother.
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    (Original post by Protégé)
    I'd tell her. Man, my best friend's dad cheated on his mother for many years and she even knew but she mostly chose to do nothing about it till the end. If I was him I would have had at his dad. I would immediately lose all respect for my dad if I found out that he had been cheating on my mother.
    Would you lose respect for your mother if you found out she had refused to have sex with him for 5 years?
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    (Original post by Clip)
    Would you lose respect for your mother if you found out she had refused to have sex with him for 5 years?
    I'd lose respect but not as much as if I found out that she'd been cheating or something. Plus, I know that isn't true since I've had the pleasure of finding condoms in my parents' room.
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    (Original post by Protégé)
    I'd lose respect but not as much as if I found out that she'd been cheating or something. Plus, I know that isn't true since I've had the pleasure of finding condoms in my parents' room.
    I'm not talking about your "actual" parents - but fair enough.

    My point is that I doubt that there is a very wide range of reasons why middle aged married men frequent prostitutes. The main one is probably because they are not getting any sex.
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    (Original post by Clip)
    I'm not talking about your "actual" parents - but fair enough.

    My point is that I doubt that there is a very wide range of reasons why middle aged married men frequent prostitutes. The main one is probably because they are not getting any sex.
    I know that, just thought I'd throw that in there. :rolleyes:

    If they aren't getting sex obviously that's a problem that needs to be brought up. Communication is key. I feel that a lot of people resort to cheating instead of actively trying to resolve things with their partner. Although your partner denying you any sex for no reason is unreasonable.
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    (Original post by Protégé)
    I know that, just thought I'd throw that in there. :rolleyes:

    If they aren't getting sex obviously that's a problem that needs to be brought up. Communication is key. I feel that a lot of people resort to cheating instead of actively trying to resolve things with their partner. Although your partner denying you any sex for no reason is unreasonable.
    I think there are a lot of people who would disagree with you there. "For no reason" can be rationalised with "I don't want to do it any more". And that tends to be the end of the conversation.

    I think it's an extremely common theme in many marriages. After so many years, one person goes off sex, and just says no all the time. The other person is then stuck.

    You can't cheat in a game that only one person is playing.
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    (Original post by Clip)
    I think there are a lot of people who would disagree with you there. "For no reason" can be rationalised with "I don't want to do it any more". And that tends to be the end of the conversation.

    I think it's an extremely common theme in many marriages. After so many years, one person goes off sex, and just says no all the time. The other person is then stuck.

    You can't cheat in a game that only one person is playing.
    I understand your point but I still don't think it's really justifiable to go have sex with someone else, unless your partner agrees to it. Honestly I wouldn't know what to do in that situation but I damn sure know I wouldn't cheat.
 
 
 
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