Join TSR now for chat about life, relationships, fashion and more…Sign up now

I'm always trying to please my dad. Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I have a good relationship with my dad but we aren't close as I haven't lived with him since I was a baby (spend a day with him every weekend). I've noticed that I act like the parent to him sometimes. I will ask if he's eaten, make sure he's got his wallet and his keys, things like that really. For example, if I'm not hungry my mum will always make sure I eat at least something, but my dad doesn't. When my mum told him she had a new partner, it felt like he was off with me and he even went on about being sad about it and coincidently, he told me bad stories of his childhood. My dad is a good dad but things like this just make me feel crap. I think he always hoped he would end up with my mum but they've been split up for over a decade and it was never going to happen.

    Since that really, I always make sure I text him in the week, try and make sure we are always talking about something etc. It just feels forced and like I'm trying too make sure he - a grown man - is okay.

    I always worry about what he's going to think. I dyed my hair a shade darker (it was barely noticeable) and worried what he would think. I worry about if I get a boyfriend, a new piercing etc, what he's going to think. It's not like he's at all a violent or confrontational man but I still worry about upsetting him. It's like I keep trying to please him and make sure he's happy.

    My mums boyfriend and his family are popping in tomorrow to exchange presents. They're coming at around the time my dad's picking me up. This really worries and scares me. I'm sick of feeling like I have to walk on eggshells around him and make sure he's okay. This is more a feeling I've caused, if that makes sense.

    I don't really enjoy spending time with him as everything feels forced. For example, if I'm feeling a bit down, I will always act happy just so he doesn't worry or think I don't want to see him. This makes me desperately want to move out for Uni, yet I feel if I move city he's going to be left on his own (he doesn't have wife/gf or family he really gets on with). I just feel so much pressure to please him and make sure he's happy and I feel like I'm the parent sometimes.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    You should tell your dad all that's worrying you. Especially where you feel you're acting like his mother instead of his daughter. It could be that your dad is still struggling to come to terms with breaking up with your mother (and naturally, you give him care)
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by shawn_o1)
    You should tell your dad all that's worrying you. Especially where you feel you're acting like his mother instead of his daughter. It could be that your dad is still struggling to come to terms with breaking up with your mother (and naturally, you give him care)
    Thank you, it's just we are not close in that way at all. I never speak about my feelings, especially not like that. And it's just, they've been split up for like 13/14 years, shouldn't he be over it?
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Riku?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Blackshadow)
    Riku?
    Huh?
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: December 24, 2014
Poll
Which Fantasy Franchise is the best?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.