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Problems with mutual friend who hates me - lost all my friends because of her Watch

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    I started uni in September and after almost a month, switched to a new course within the same uni and immediately made friends with these 2 other girls who also happened to be flatmates together, they also live with another girl (the conflict source) and an international student. With the other girl in their flat they had already become 'best friends.' When i first met this other girl when my friends introduced me to her as ahe was coming over to see them she immediately practically ignored me like barely even looked at me, said 'hi' and turned to the other girls and demanded that they took her into town to go shopping for a new dress when we had seminar work to do. They got up and went with her immediately. She seems very spoiled, rich and used to getting her own way but the other two girls are exactly the opposite: very nice, forgiving and accepting and they always told me the other girl had 'difficult' moments like always borrowing their clothes and then denying it and also taking their food and being rude to them if they did the same thing in retaliation but they still loved her as a friend. So me and the 2 girls on my course started spending more time together and the third girl immediately got jealous and sent threatening, nasty messages to them and also picked fights with them. She also came up to
    me once and said in a very nasty way 'don't do anything with (Girl 1) and (Girl 2) anymore, and don't go near them anymore because they're my friends and not yours so leave us alone and find your own friends.' If I ever did anything with all 3 of them, Girl 3 would either ignore me completely or give me dirty looks. Whenever the other 2 girls were out of earshot she would make rude comments to me and whenever we were all together she would roll her eyes and say something sarcastic in response to anything I said. My friends said to me I know (Girl 3) can be difficult to get on with but she just doesn't like new people, sorry.

    It all came to a head one night when it was all of us together. Girls 1 and 2 left to go to the toilet and when it was just us together Girl 3 said something to me that finally made me snap and ask 'seriously what is your problem?' She immediately hit me in the face and shoved me saying 'LEAVE ME ALONE AND STOP TRYING TO STEAL MY FRIENDS!!!' So i pushed her and said 'They're not just your friends they're mine too so stop acting like a jealous possessive b---ch!' At that moment the other 2 girls came back and Girl 3 immediately started crying loudly and clutching her shoulder when I hadn't actually hurt her, all I did was push her. She hurt me by hitting me first but Girl 3 told the other two I had slapped her, pushed her and shouted horrible things at her - then said things like 'you're meant to be my best friends and yet I sit in my room all day while you're always out with this evil b---ch! Look what she did to me!' My 'friends' immediately believed her, took her side and now I have no friends anymore at uni. They try and avoid me in lectures and seminars and both blocked me on facebook, yet still seem to be close friends with this manipulative mutual friend that ruined everything

    I am so unhappy now, and i'm considering either dropping out or moving to a different uni. All i do is cry nearly every day or try not to cry when I'm at uni because its just so hard seeing my ex friends now that they hate me
    through no fault of my own i wish i could get my friends back. What advice do you have?
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    wow you know some really​ *****y people.
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    You know what would be really helpful! If people could actually give constructive advice! Im not at uni and have never experienced this so I feel I wouldnt be off much help but still!!!

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    Yeah i know it was long and I apologise but there are some really nasty and insensitive people here
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    like seriously i knew this forum is populated with rahs and superior people who think they're above everyone else because they got ten a stars and go to redbrick universities but I thought i could find some people who would actually be able to give me some good advice instead of 'wow your answer is so long grow the f--k up' when this recent incident has really upset me. Ok, next time I'll think twice before moaning to strangers on the internet if all that happens is stuck up people being even more horrible to me in return
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    Anyone who posts anything nasty will have their posts removed, there is no need for it, thanks
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    thank **** i have a ****

    no way i could deal with being a girl
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    I'm not at uni yet so i don't really have much experience but if i were in your shoes, I wouldn't do anything. Eventually the other two girls will realise how manipulative this girl is. So just let it go for now, concentrate on your work and try to make new friends. If you do see the other two girls and you really want to tell them your side then go ahead but afterwards just leave them to make their own decisions, you've done your bit
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    moving on is all you can do. meet other people and befriend them. uni is too short to deal with horrible people like girl number 3.
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    I'm not old enough for uni yet but um, maybe try to explain to your friends what actually happened?

    Isn't there other people in your course or in your flat? Maybe you could try spending time with some other people - You don't have to stick with the same two all the time, you know!

    Perhaps the 'Girl 3' just feels insecure that you're trying to steal her friends from her - if you spend time with some other people, maybe it'll show her that you're not trying to take them away from her completely and it will be good for you to not be completely reliant on their friendship all the time.

    Quite frankly, I think you're better off without them all. The two nice girls, from what you describe, don't seem that nice really - if they valued your friendship more, they would have listened to your side of the story instead of being petty and blocking you on Facebook.

    Make some other friends. Don't move or drop out - ever heard the saying 'Don't give in to bullies.'??

    Just some random thoughts. Hope you feel better soon!
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    had no idea unis let u swithc courses out of ur experience how easy is this
    out of interest which uni do you go to
    can you not make anther group of friends
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    like seriously i knew this forum is populated with rahs and superior people who think they're above everyone else because they got ten a stars and go to redbrick universities but I thought i could find some people who would actually be able to give me some good advice instead of 'wow your answer is so long grow the f--k up' when this recent incident has really upset me. Ok, next time I'll think twice before moaning to strangers on the internet if all that happens is stuck up people being even more horrible to me in return
    I've had experience with a mutual friend (well a group of them) like that. Lost nearly all of my friends but one. It is upsetting, especially when you thought you had a real friendship with the 2 girls but if they did that then they clearly aren't your true friends.
    try to find new people to be friends with Are there any guys on your course? They seem a lot more relaxed and not *****y, like some girls can be.

    If you need to talk, feel free to PM me
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I started uni in September and after almost a month, switched to a new course within the same uni and immediately made friends with these 2 other girls who also happened to be flatmates together, they also live with another girl (the conflict source) and an international student. With the other girl in their flat they had already become 'best friends.' When i first met this other girl when my friends introduced me to her as ahe was coming over to see them she immediately practically ignored me like barely even looked at me, said 'hi' and turned to the other girls and demanded that they took her into town to go shopping for a new dress when we had seminar work to do. They got up and went with her immediately. She seems very spoiled, rich and used to getting her own way but the other two girls are exactly the opposite: very nice, forgiving and accepting and they always told me the other girl had 'difficult' moments like always borrowing their clothes and then denying it and also taking their food and being rude to them if they did the same thing in retaliation but they still loved her as a friend. So me and the 2 girls on my course started spending more time together and the third girl immediately got jealous and sent threatening, nasty messages to them and also picked fights with them. She also came up to
    me once and said in a very nasty way 'don't do anything with (Girl 1) and (Girl 2) anymore, and don't go near them anymore because they're my friends and not yours so leave us alone and find your own friends.' If I ever did anything with all 3 of them, Girl 3 would either ignore me completely or give me dirty looks. Whenever the other 2 girls were out of earshot she would make rude comments to me and whenever we were all together she would roll her eyes and say something sarcastic in response to anything I said. My friends said to me I know (Girl 3) can be difficult to get on with but she just doesn't like new people, sorry.

    It all came to a head one night when it was all of us together. Girls 1 and 2 left to go to the toilet and when it was just us together Girl 3 said something to me that finally made me snap and ask 'seriously what is your problem?' She immediately hit me in the face and shoved me saying 'LEAVE ME ALONE AND STOP TRYING TO STEAL MY FRIENDS!!!' So i pushed her and said 'They're not just your friends they're mine too so stop acting like a jealous possessive b---ch!' At that moment the other 2 girls came back and Girl 3 immediately started crying loudly and clutching her shoulder when I hadn't actually hurt her, all I did was push her. She hurt me by hitting me first but Girl 3 told the other two I had slapped her, pushed her and shouted horrible things at her - then said things like 'you're meant to be my best friends and yet I sit in my room all day while you're always out with this evil b---ch! Look what she did to me!' My 'friends' immediately believed her, took her side and now I have no friends anymore at uni. They try and avoid me in lectures and seminars and both blocked me on facebook, yet still seem to be close friends with this manipulative mutual friend that ruined everything

    I am so unhappy now, and i'm considering either dropping out or moving to a different uni. All i do is cry nearly every day or try not to cry when I'm at uni because its just so hard seeing my ex friends now that they hate me
    through no fault of my own i wish i could get my friends back. What advice do you have?
    sorry to hear whats happened to you, it sounds like a really awful situation to be in.

    in my opinion, this girl is trouble, and no doubt her friends feel this themselves, but due to living with her (and shes probably a bit manipulative too) they arent able to stand up to her and be assertive, like you said she does mean things to them like borrow their clothes and food, but they dont do anything about this? it sounds as though they let her walk all over them, and she will continue to do this because they let her.

    so in relation to you, realistically do you really wanna associate with people like her? i know you got on with the other girls, but unfortunately theyll clearly in line with her and under her thumb, theres nothing you can do about that. i think all you can do is avoid these people and try your best to meet new people. i know thats a cliche answer, but really it seems like the best option. you managed to make friends with these people in the first place, so youre capable of making other new friends as well right?

    dont drop out of uni or anything over this one person, shes not the be all and end all, there are hundreds of people out there you could meet, why waste your time with lousy people like that? you just have to be positive and try your best to make the effort to put yourself out there. itll take time yeah, but if youre patient and try your best you will meet new, better people, who are less hassle and drama.

    there are plenty of horrible people like her in life, and trust me, although these girls may have taken her side, you'll probably find in a few years time (probably less) theyll get sick of her and eventually come running back to you (who knows). usually these types of girls dont last long in friendships, people want to get away from them.

    just continue to be a good friend and a good person, and youll do fine
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    Wow! I am sorry that seems a horrible thing to have happened! She is a extremely manipulative ***** and with time the other two girls will see it too! Till then all you can do is maybe, only and only if you want to, send them both a message to explain your side of the story and just leave them alone and simultaneously, start talking to other people on your course and join new societies and become involved in a few of them to meet new people and make new friends.

    I know it must be extremely hard for you and you must be extremely unhappy but sometimes bad things happen to good people and you have to move on! I have been very many horrible situations with 'friends' and I have always looked back and been glad to not be friends with them! You have to be strong and thank your stars that this happened early in the friendship, so that you still have time to make so many more friends!

    I wish all the very best! Stay strong! And go out there and make more friends!
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    it's really shocking to see this sort of stuff happens at uni, that all sounds like something which would happen in secondary school rather than uni. It's really pathetic that this horrible girl causing you grief is a university student who still has the 'they're my friends and not yours' immature mentality of a child/young teenager. Actually I read your story and instantly thought of Mean Girls, the two friends you mentioned seem to be like the Karen and Gretchen tightly under the thumb of this Regina George-esque sounding cow. She sounds selfish, manipulative, entitled and possessive and to be honest it's not worth chasing down these two coursemates of yours and begging to be their friend again for now, its likely they didn't take your side because they were probably scared of what girl 3 might do to them because she is their flatmate. In the meantime, focus on making other friends at uni, and don't let one horrible girl ruin your life and make you drop out because it will be a huge mistake if you do.
 
 
 
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