Now, by the title I don't mean I hate my parents, family, friends and town.
but being at university, having more independence and not having to cater for the most lazy and needy family ever. don't get me wrong I love them, but I have an abusive morbidly obese mother who does nothing for herself, and my dad is quite old with diabetes which is not under control, a heart condition and no left arms so I have to do a lot around the house.
I feel like this house and the fact I don't have the greatest of friends (minus a few who are amazing) means I have become less and less social and more and more unhappy living in this town.
because of my family I always have my studies interrupted to do stupid tasks such as making a cup of tea.
I love my family and know when going to uni I will miss it, but I just get so annoyed having to live my life to look after my family, get my studies and try to be social so I don't shut myself completely out. when I go I can live by my own rules and by no means party, but have studies that aren't interrupted for silly reasons, if i'm not hungry i'm not forced to eat a massive dinner and the ability to go out when i want without prior permission from my parents and live in a place that I can clean up after myself and not after an additional 4 people.
my house is a hostile environment and I know I help contribute to that a lot because of the stress I am under but I just want to move one up.
but then, in the back of my mind I worry, I worry what will happen when all of the children move out, my dad will care for my mum, but he is in no way good health, and when my dads diabetes plays up my mum gets angry and hits him a lot of the time. for something he cant help. I cant help but worry that when i move out my dad will pass because I am a major carer for him...
Then there is my friends, I have a small group of girls, a group of 5 who I constantly talk to and adore, then a major best friend who's been there for 7 years but we rarely talk, and my best guy friend who has been there for a year and we see each other loads and its a fun friendship.
I used to have more, but their priorities turned to constantly drinking and smoking and doing stupid and dangerous stuff with a few people who I don't really like because they say that A-levels are stupid and they work and as soon as they get money they spend it on booze or weekends away to drink booze. it upsets me that my two best friends are within that group even though they don't do the reckless things. I worry they might start. I just wish I could be happy.
I don't expect replies for this I just wanted to express myself and get this off my mind.
University and moving out will be a god send Watch
- Thread Starter
- 24-12-2014 21:02
- 100 followers
- 21 badges
- 25-12-2014 08:35
Find your dad a care home