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    Every guy I've dated in the past told me how they felt in one way or another, So I never had to question anything as such. Me and the guy I'm seeing never discuss feelings, in fact we rarely have deep conversations. We have spoken about past relationships briefly, but not talked about what we want in a relationship etc to see if we are compatible. That being said we've spent a fair amount of time together and we are definitely compatible.

    We have been going with the flow and I like how things are progressing.. Just not sure what his thoughts are.. He calls me a couple times a week and texts me pretty much everyday to say good morning (I have friends that do this from time to time). He will make plans for us to go out. I don't feel any pressure when I'm with him and I feel like he has taken time to understand me as a person. We flirt once in a blue moon. All he's really said is that I'm a sweet girl or I'm cute and the other day he started to say '' when I think of you.. '' but then tried to re-word the sentence when he caught on. He's mentioned things I'll start to notice in a few months down the line.

    I used to wonder if he thought of me as a friend, but then he mentioned telling his friend his ex and the girl he's seeing (me) have the same name.

    I'm not going to come right out and ask him..I don't wanna spoil things. How do you know what it is without asking? I know i have nothing to worry about but I wanna see if we are on the same page.

    I think I'm going to ask what he wants in a relationship and take it from there?
    *merry Christmas
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    Well you'll never know unless you ask
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    You are in a currently in what is called an undefined relationship; a frustrating grey area that on the surface may seem chilled and fun but there is a fairly likely chance you could be involved with someone who is emotionally unavailable. The prevailing issue with undefined relationships is that it can become all too easy and comfortable to remain involved in the whole zero pressure, zero commitment and zero responsibility half-arsed arrangement.

    Personally I believe dating and relationships should be black or white and not this uncomfortable grey area in the middle. Either the guy likes and is showing an active interest in you, with the intention of wanting to try and take things forward, or the guy likes you but has explicitly told you that he only wants something casual. Anything else is unacceptable and I wouldn't invest my energy or offer fringe benefits with someone who is ambiguous, or wants to "go with the flow..." From my own personal experience, when two people are romantically interested in each other, it's usually pretty clear from the offset and you don't get this drawn out ambiguity wondering what their interest level is.

    So my advice is to not worry so much about what he might be thinking or feeling, but focus on how "you" feel about him. If you have clear ideas about what you want and need, there is no shame in "rocking the boat" and sharing those feelings. If the guy is truly into you, wanting to define the relationship is not going to scare him away. If you decide you want a relationship just tell him that, see how he responds, and make it clear that he needs to either step-up or step-out.
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    He doesn't want to say anything because he has been hurt before. Show him that you care about him (a lot) and he will start to open up.
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    (Original post by Menrva)
    You are in a currently in what is called an undefined relationship; a frustrating grey area that on the surface may seem chilled and fun but there is a fairly likely chance you could be involved with someone who is emotionally unavailable. The prevailing issue with undefined relationships is that it can become all too easy and comfortable to remain involved in the whole zero pressure, zero commitment and zero responsibility half-arsed arrangement.

    Personally I believe dating and relationships should be black or white and not this uncomfortable grey area in the middle. Either the guy likes and is showing an active interest in you, with the intention of wanting to try and take things forward, or the guy likes you but has explicitly told you that he only wants something casual. Anything else is unacceptable and I wouldn't invest my energy or offer fringe benefits with someone who is ambiguous, or wants to "go with the flow..." From my own personal experience, when two people are romantically interested in each other, it's usually pretty clear from the offset and you don't get this drawn out ambiguity wondering what their interest level is.

    So my advice is to not worry so much about what he might be thinking or feeling, but focus on how "you" feel about him. If you have clear ideas about what you want and need, there is no shame in "rocking the boat" and sharing those feelings. If the guy is truly into you, wanting to define the relationship is not going to scare him away. If you decide you want a relationship just tell him that, see how he responds, and make it clear that he needs to either step-up or step-out.
    Worst advice. Following this will destroy any connection you two had and put you on the road to breakup.
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    (Original post by 41b)
    Worst advice. Following this will destroy any connection you two had and put you on the road to breakup.
    No offence, but an emotionally mature individual should be aware of their boundaries, wants and needs and should be able to communicate those feelings without fear of jeopardising anything. Repressing your thoughts and feelings where intimacy is involved can manifest itself in unhealthy ways. Allowing yourself to be involved in a situation where you don't know where you stand, such as an ambiguous undefined relationship for too long is disrespectful to yourself. The OP should value their integrity and get some clarity of the situation.

    Talking about what you want in a relationship (in a non-pressured manner) should ideally be Date 1 conversation. I certainly wouldn't accept letting things rumble on for months.
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    Hmm interesting points of view. Thanks for your input
 
 
 
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