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deeply complicated problems for two people who want to hopefully get married. Watch

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    Well how do i start this? you will not read anything more complicated than this all week. so here i go..

    Me and a girl fell in love with each other when we were at college (long time ago) and we have been together since. We both love each other and want to get married sounds simple? its not lol

    problem 1: firstly she is a devoted christian and i am a muslim we are extremely devoted to our faiths and come from a very very religiously strict backgrounds. She has tried to convince me to convert to christianity and i have tried to convince her to convert to islam. well both haven't worked and i made it clear that i will do anything for her beside change my religion.

    problem 2: well to make it a bit more interesting, she is an Indian and her parents don't like Pakistanis much (which you can understand) while I am a Pakistani and as far as i can think, there has never been a relative who has married an indian.

    problem 3: we both are in our 3rd year of university but i have 2 years left, while she will graduate and start working which means her parents would be thinking to get her married soon and i can't do anything while i am still at uni. :mad::mad::mad::mad:

    As if this wasn't enough, i met her parents at her church where she invited me as a friend and they weren't so keen of me even before meeting me just because i was a muslim, pakistani and above all her relatives had seen me with her before and this meant that they had heard a lot of things about us.

    so anyone out there who can give me any sort of advice, even a bit would be great because i feel a bit screwed at the moment and out of ideas.

    thanks for reading all this
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    Wow! Good Read!
    I don't have any solutions though sorry!
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    (Original post by Adeel Ali)
    Wow! Good Read!
    I don't have any solutions though sorry!
    Haha, me neither! but it does make a good story to tell the grandchildren if we do get married.
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    (Original post by Az231)
    Well how do i start this? you will not read anything more complicated than this all week. so here i go..

    Me and a girl fell in love with each other when we were at college (long time ago) and we have been together since. We both love each other and want to get married sounds simple? its not lol

    problem 1: firstly she is a devoted christian and i am a muslim we are extremely devoted to our faiths and come from a very very religiously strict backgrounds. She has tried to convince me to convert to christianity and i have tried to convince her to convert to islam. well both haven't worked and i made it clear that i will do anything for her beside change my religion.

    problem 2: well to make it a bit more interesting, she is an Indian and her parents don't like Pakistanis much (which you can understand) while I am a Pakistani and as far as i can think, there has never been a relative who has married an indian.

    problem 3: we both are in our 3rd year of university but i have 2 years left, while she will graduate and start working which means her parents would be thinking to get her married soon and i can't do anything while i am still at uni. :mad::mad::mad::mad:

    As if this wasn't enough, i met her parents at her church where she invited me as a friend and they weren't so keen of me even before meeting me just because i was a muslim, pakistani and above all her relatives had seen me with her before and this meant that they had heard a lot of things about us.

    so anyone out there who can give me any sort of advice, even a bit would be great because i feel a bit screwed at the moment and out of ideas.

    thanks for reading all this
    I get everyone is different, but I don't understand how religion effects it at all, except for not having the wedding in a Mosque or Church.
    She goes to Church and prays before bed, you go to a Mosque and pray 5 times a day. I'm sorry, I don't understand the problem, you both live separate lives and religion is a personal thing. I don't understand why it would hamper your relationship, unless you two are getting into screaming matches about it.

    It's really your family members who have a problem, and if they want to stand in your way of love, well you know exactly what they think of you. If my family members were so disrespectful they didn't like a lassie I was dating on principle, I'd have a big problem with them. If they met her and didn't like her, fair enough, at least they gave it a shot, and I know not everyone gets along, it happens.
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    In Islam Family>Wife.
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    (Original post by Adeel Ali)
    In Islam Family>Wife.
    Wife is family tho

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    Yes you are very strictly religious and devoted to your faith... But you have a girlfriend :hmmm:

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    (Original post by Event horizon :))
    Wife is family tho

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    Not your wife yet, is she?
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    (Original post by Adeel Ali)
    In Islam Family>Wife.
    He is choosing not to marry her due to his religion. Yet he is a dating her, which Islam forbids. This isn't complicated, he just picks and chooses which part of his religion to follow and caused himself his own problem.
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    (Original post by Gjaykay)
    I get everyone is different, but I don't understand how religion effects it at all, except for not having the wedding in a Mosque or Church.
    She goes to Church and prays before bed, you go to a Mosque and pray 5 times a day. I'm sorry, I don't understand the problem, you both live separate lives and religion is a personal thing. I don't understand why it would hamper your relationship, unless you two are getting into screaming matches about it.

    It's really your family members who have a problem, and if they want to stand in your way of love, well you know exactly what they think of you. If my family members were so disrespectful they didn't like a lassie I was dating on principle, I'd have a big problem with them. If they met her and didn't like her, fair enough, at least they gave it a shot, and I know not everyone gets along, it happens.
    I wish it was that simple :mad:. The thing is that the bible doesn't allow christians to marry people from other faiths. And although she is okay with it, its her family that won't allow this to happen.

    (Original post by Event horizon :))
    Yes you are very strictly religious and devoted to your faith... But you have a girlfriend :hmmm:
    I knew someone was going to mention this :rolleyes:. I can assure you, we do not do anything haraam (prohibited). It is more of someone being there to support you through life? i don't know whether you will understand this. :rolleyes::rolleyes:
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    Yeah IGY OP. As long as there is no.... Going on. I don't know, would it still be prohibited?
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    (Original post by Az231)
    I wish it was that simple :mad:. The thing is that the bible doesn't allow christians to marry people from other faiths. And although she is okay with it, its her family that won't allow this to happen.
    ]
    Ok, it's both your families who have a problem, not just yours.

    Like I said, it's not complicated. You two are letting your families dictate your destiny and letting them decide who you can or can't spend the rest of your life with.

    You freely give someone else power over you voluntarily means you lose your right to ***** and moan about it.
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    (Original post by Gjaykay)
    Ok, it's both your families who have a problem, not just yours.

    Like I said, it's not complicated. You two are letting your families dictate your destiny and letting them decide who you can or can't spend the rest of your life with.

    You freely give someone else power over you voluntarily means you lose your right to ***** and moan about it.
    I guess you are right thoeretically that i should not let them decide my future but would this work practically?. Taking into account the asian family factor where you become some sort of a disgrace to the family if you disobey them .
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    (Original post by Az231)
    I wish it was that simple :mad:. The thing is that the bible doesn't allow christians to marry people from other faiths. And although she is okay with it, its her family that won't allow this to happen.

    I knew someone was going to mention this :rolleyes:. I can assure you, we do not do anything haraam (prohibited). It is more of someone being there to support you through life? i don't know whether you will understand this. :rolleyes::rolleyes:
    There is no such thing as boy-girl relationship in islam

    You dont have to fornicate for it to be haraam

    Wallahi if you stuck by your faith properly you wouldnt be in this mess

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    (Original post by Event horizon :))
    There is no such thing as boy-girl relationship in islam

    You dont have to fornicate for it to be haraam

    Wallahi if you stuck by your faith properly you wouldnt be in this mess

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    You are right, But I am trying to make it halal now so any advice on how I would go about this?


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    (Original post by Az231)
    I guess you are right thoeretically that i should not let them decide my future but would this work practically?. Taking into account the asian family factor where you become some sort of a disgrace to the family if you disobey them .
    I'm not right theoretically, I'm just right. The concept of family members casting people out because they marry someone of a certain colour or creed is disgusting to me.

    Like I said, if they have that big a problem, then you know what they think of you. If they can so easily disrespect someone who you love on the principle of creed or colour, I don't see how they can think very much of you. I mean 'you' as both, ie if both family members disrespected the other based on religion, they can't hold a high opinion of said person.

    You don't treat people you love like that.
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    (Original post by Az231)
    You are right, But I am trying to make it halal now so any advice on how I would go about this?


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    Sorry my friend :dontknow:

    I dont know how i can help :sigh::no:

    This is a sticky situation

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    You say you are devoted to your faith, yet you CHOOSE to be with her. Strange. Yes you say you haven't done anything haram in the relationship, but my friend the relationship itself is haram. As you are a Muslim and she is Christian, you are allowed to marry her but it's her religion which is the problem. One of you will have to give up your faith, I do not see any other solution. If you still have that strong faith you will move on, find someone better and keep your faith intact. Eventually you will forget about her. If you think your relationship is more important than your religion, you will convert for her. I am sorry but I do not see there being any other way. A friend of mine had a similar problem. She left the guy, and found someone else, and now is happily married to someone of her own religion. That may or may not be the case for you as well.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You say you are devoted to your faith, yet you CHOOSE to be with her. Strange. Yes you say you haven't done anything haram in the relationship, but my friend the relationship itself is haram. As you are a Muslim and she is Christian, you are allowed to marry her but it's her religion which is the problem. One of you will have to give up your faith, I do not see any other solution. If you still have that strong faith you will move on, find someone better and keep your faith intact. Eventually you will forget about her. If you think your relationship is more important than your religion, you will convert for her. I am sorry but I do not see there being any other way. A friend of mine had a similar problem. She left the guy, and found someone else, and now is happily married to someone of her own religion. That may or may not be the case for you as well.

    :yy::yep:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You say you are devoted to your faith, yet you CHOOSE to be with her. Strange. Yes you say you haven't done anything haram in the relationship, but my friend the relationship itself is haram. As you are a Muslim and she is Christian, you are allowed to marry her but it's her religion which is the problem. One of you will have to give up your faith, I do not see any other solution. If you still have that strong faith you will move on, find someone better and keep your faith intact. Eventually you will forget about her. If you think your relationship is more important than your religion, you will convert for her. I am sorry but I do not see there being any other way. A friend of mine had a similar problem. She left the guy, and found someone else, and now is happily married to someone of her own religion. That may or may not be the case for you as well.
    Great Advice Masha'Allah

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