How are you two close if you both don't share the same religion, as faith is what truly brings people closer, if you don't mind me asking?
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deeply complicated problems for two people who want to hopefully get married. watch
- 26-12-2014 07:03
(Original post by Az231)
- 26-12-2014 07:55
Well how do i start this? you will not read anything more complicated than this all week. so here i go..
Me and a girl fell in love with each other when we were at college (long time ago) and we have been together since. We both love each other and want to get married sounds simple? its not lol
problem 1: firstly she is a devoted christian and i am a muslim we are extremely devoted to our faiths and come from a very very religiously strict backgrounds. She has tried to convince me to convert to christianity and i have tried to convince her to convert to islam. well both haven't worked and i made it clear that i will do anything for her beside change my religion.
problem 2: well to make it a bit more interesting, she is an Indian and her parents don't like Pakistanis much (which you can understand) while I am a Pakistani and as far as i can think, there has never been a relative who has married an indian.
problem 3: we both are in our 3rd year of university but i have 2 years left, while she will graduate and start working which means her parents would be thinking to get her married soon and i can't do anything while i am still at uni.
As if this wasn't enough, i met her parents at her church where she invited me as a friend and they weren't so keen of me even before meeting me just because i was a muslim, pakistani and above all her relatives had seen me with her before and this meant that they had heard a lot of things about us.
so anyone out there who can give me any sort of advice, even a bit would be great because i feel a bit screwed at the moment and out of ideas.
thanks for reading all this
Your families cannot dictate who you see and who you don't. Imagine breaking off the relationship and then regretting it in the future, because it wasn't you who made the decision. Take charge of your relationship and make sure your families know that you won't back down. I know plenty of mixed unions (where the mother was Muslim and the father was of another faith) where everything turned out fine.
Are you really willing to sacrifice love for tradition?
- 26-12-2014 08:41
Are we not meant to love, OP?
- 26-12-2014 09:02
I don't understand why you've tried to convert each other. Pointless.
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- 26-12-2014 12:10
This is so sad. Not saying you'd work out forever minus the religious differences (sorry but just being realistic) but they certainly get in the way.
If it helps - probably doesnt - I know a loosely Muslim woman in her late 30s who is married to a loosely Christian guy also in his late 30s. They met at uni and have been together ever since. They have a child and another on the way who they will let make their own mind up about religion or lack thereof. They really do seem happy together. Her grandparents do not even know this massive part of her life exists and think she's just a career girl. I find it so sad she lives this double life. They live in London for goodness sake!
- 26-12-2014 13:30
What a situation...
Do not let your family dictate who you should and shouldn't be with. You're the one marrying her,not them. Honestly, if they truly love and care for you,although it may be difficult at first,they'd learn to accept it and put your happiness first. Same with hers. It's natural for parents to want their children to marry people with similar beliefs and cultures, but at the end of the day it's your life and your choice. If she's fine with marrying a Muslim, and as a Muslim man you're allowed to marry a Christian, putting family aside, I don't see the problem.
Good luck OP
- 26-12-2014 13:37
Good luck with this, sounds tough tbh
(Original post by Anonymous)
- 26-12-2014 14:10
You say you are devoted to your faith, yet you CHOOSE to be with her. Strange. Yes you say you haven't done anything haram in the relationship, but my friend the relationship itself is haram. As you are a Muslim and she is Christian, you are allowed to marry her but it's her religion which is the problem. One of you will have to give up your faith, I do not see any other solution. If you still have that strong faith you will move on, find someone better and keep your faith intact. Eventually you will forget about her. If you think your relationship is more important than your religion, you will convert for her. I am sorry but I do not see there being any other way. A friend of mine had a similar problem. She left the guy, and found someone else, and now is happily married to someone of her own religion. That may or may not be the case for you as well.
Read the thread rather than say "Oh he's a Muslim, she's the problem", jeez.
- Political Ambassador
- 26-12-2014 14:32
Wonder how many potential soulmates have been wasted due to stupid religious rules.
- 26-12-2014 14:39
If you're really seeking for a sign, make the istikharah prayers.
You know who to ask for guidance.
Spoiler:ShowInshaAllah, he will aid you in making your decision. Plus, it's only 2 rakaat
- 26-12-2014 20:39
Screw them, marry her.