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    I'll try to keep this brief. Me and my boyfriend are on a break at the moment becaus ehe says he needs to try and figure out what he wants. A bit of background we got together in February after he broke up with his girlfriend he has been with for over a year. I tried to persuade him to wait a few months but he was certain that he wanted to go out with me then. We have had a bit a rough summer and had had quite a few arguments and then since I have been back I have been ill and he has had to take me to hospital three times. He says he doesn't know whether he still loves me but he cares for me a lot and says he is missing me. It's only since we have split up that I have realised how much I love him and I really want him back. He says he doesn't want to get back with me unless he can see a future with me. This break was supposed to be a few weeks but it's killing me and since Saturday he has been really depressed and is even doubting whether he shoudl be doing his course despite aceing all his exams. I know there isn't really anything I can do but I thought people might have some advice. He says he doesn't want to get back together with me without being sure but I'm not sure how long I can keep waiting. I am still at home from being ill and I'm missing him like mad.
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    a break is an excuse, he is prolly playin da field, sorry love he not cuming bak 2 u.
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    Ive never understood couples who go on breaks. Why do you need a break? if you love someone you wouldnt need one...
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    i could speak to my gf on the phone every evening and still be sleeping with someone else...

    If youve been talking so much.. why the need for a 'break'
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    He has only every slept with me and his other long term girlfriend and he would have to be very cunning seen as I am on his course and we are in the same friendship group. I don't want a break he says he needs one to decide what he wants. He doesn't want to get back with me without being 100% sure as he doesn't want to hurt me. To be honest he is so depressed at the moment he can't even bring himself to write up lectures let alone sleep with somebody else.
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    Pffft, if a girl isnt totally sure she wants to be with me, i break up with her. That simple.

    If he isnt sure he actually wants to be with you, the relationship isnt gonna work.
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    Don't take a back seat and wait for him to decide if he wants to be with you.

    Make it simple. Tell him that you miss him, you want him back and that you're not going to be waiting forever. This will kick him into action, rather than moping around (it sounds like this is what he's doing) and you'll get a response within the few weeks your break is supposed to be.

    If his response is what you want to hear then great! But you still need to work on the reasons behind your break in the first place. They're not going to suddenly disappear. The key to successful relationships is communication - tell him your worries/problems/anxieties and ask him to do the same. It might not be pleasant, it might take many hours to sort through them but when you have you'll feel fantastic and the bond between you will be strengthened.

    If his response isn't what you want to hear then move on. Decide if you want to stay friends - by the sounds of it you'll find it hard not to as you're in the same friendship group and on the same course.

    Stay positive though. Tell yourself that he is going to want to get back with you, you'll feel a lot better and this will show in the way you act around him.
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    To be honest, from everything you've said, I wouldn't have said there was a chance of you getting back together, other than if you guilt him into it, and then you'll just break up soon then anyway.

    Breaks are just an easier route to break up. Kinda softens the blow. Feels less permanent so you can try it out, but if you don't like it, have something to fall back on. It's a less severe loss than a break up.
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    In my experience, if a break is needed because someone needs to find out what they "really want", then the end is nigh.

    Sorry honey.
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    Yep, he's just dumping you without actually telling you hes dumping you.
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    Yes, that's the likely reason for the break but it isn't necessarily so let's try and be a little positive! Maybe not.
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    Positive? Hmmm...theres plenty more fish in the sea?
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    but its good in a way cos then ul still be mates in the group of friends and it won't all fall aprt.
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    (Original post by 3232)
    Positive? Hmmm...theres plenty more fish in the sea?
    There certainly is. And if she's good at fishing then there's no problem!
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    (Original post by Sazarina88)
    There certainly is. And if she's good at fishing then there's no problem!
    If not she can buy good quality tackle and a carbon rod... Sorry, i've got lost in the metaphor...
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    (Original post by Reue)
    Ive never understood couples who go on breaks. Why do you need a break? if you love someone you wouldnt need one...
    :ditto: He either wants you or he doesn't i'm afraid in my experience a break is him playing for time to think of a way or reason to break up with you.
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    (Original post by Sazarina88)
    Don't take a back seat and wait for him to decide if he wants to be with you.

    Make it simple. Tell him that you miss him, you want him back and that you're not going to be waiting forever. This will kick him into action, rather than moping around (it sounds like this is what he's doing) and you'll get a response within the few weeks your break is supposed to be.

    If his response is what you want to hear then great! But you still need to work on the reasons behind your break in the first place. They're not going to suddenly disappear. The key to successful relationships is communication - tell him your worries/problems/anxieties and ask him to do the same. It might not be pleasant, it might take many hours to sort through them but when you have you'll feel fantastic and the bond between you will be strengthened.

    If his response isn't what you want to hear then move on. Decide if you want to stay friends - by the sounds of it you'll find it hard not to as you're in the same friendship group and on the same course.

    Stay positive though. Tell yourself that he is going to want to get back with you, you'll feel a lot better and this will show in the way you act around him.
    Wholeheartedly seconded. Summary:

    1 - Tell him that you miss him, you want him back and that you're not going to be waiting forever. Do it - ring him now.

    2 - Tell him your worries/problems/anxieties and ask him to do the same.

    3 - It might take many hours to sort through them but when you have you'll feel fantastic and the bond between you will be strengthened.
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    (Original post by lovely emily)
    a break is an excuse, he is prolly playin da field, sorry love he not cuming bak 2 u.
    :dito:

    there can be no "breaks" in a relationship. a break is a break-up. seriously find someone better. no amount of "talking it out" is ever going to help.
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    (Original post by Ron Stoppable)
    Wholeheartedly seconded. En Anglais:

    1 - Tell him that you miss him, you want him back and that you're not going to be waiting forever. Do it - ring him now.

    2 - Tell him your worries/problems/anxieties and ask him to do the same.

    3 - It might take many hours to sort through them but when you have you'll feel fantastic and the bond between you will be strengthened.
    for the first time in my life, i'm agreeeing with you

    :rofl:

    yes, you're right. its not gonna strengthen any bonds, cus we're not talking chemical bonding here.
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    :hugs:

    All I can say is - I know how it feels. We got back together though, so it's good. But don't hang on like you're gonna wait forever - cus I did that. Tried every trick in the book (other than sex etc cus don't believe in sex before marriage) - like I would die without him. Don't do what I did cus it hurts - it messes his head up even more, messes your head up more, and doesn't really solve the problem. Don't ask him questions you know he doesn't have the answers to, but like everyone else has said - tell him that you want him back but you won't wait forever. But for now, wait for him. If he's meant to be the one for you, then it's worth the wait.

    In the mean time, I'd try and get over him in case he decides to break up properly. And if he decides to get back with you, you'll have learnt to be a little less attached (cus you simply wouldn't get over a guy you love within a few months). That's what I did anyway. I'm less attached but we're just as close as before. I think what eventually got him to get back with me was the fact that we were splitting up for the summer hols from uni and it was final. Perhaps he realised he didn't want it to be final. I don't think we'd still be together though if I didn't fight for him at the time though - he was so confused.

    Best of luck :hugs:
 
 
 
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