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Can a man ever forgive a woman for aborting his child? Watch

  • View Poll Results: Can you forgive your wife/gf for aborting your child against your wishes?!
    No I can't.
    34
    56.67%
    Yes I can forgive her and I would support her.
    14
    23.33%
    maybe - it's her choice but I will secretly harbour feelings of resentment
    12
    20.00%

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    Oh he has absolutely every right to be angry at her for this. She has the legal right to an abortion, but she most certainly should not expect everybody to be 100% supportive of her choices when it DOES have an impact on them.
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    (Original post by joker12345)
    I think the point the other poster was making is to imagine only the emotional pain/feelings you'd go through if a man had ended the life of your baby, when you were happy and excited about it.
    It's hard to imagine because it's completely impossible and hypothetical. Why don't we actually focus on the reality of the issue, which is that women have the final say in whether they abort or not, otherwise we end up forcing women to have children.
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    Thank you Joker that is just what I meant.
    Philbert, to make it easier to imaginge I recall a while ago a couple storing embryos due to her health problems. (Cancer?)
    Any hoo they split up before they used them. He requested that they be destroyed, which IIRC is what happened.
    She was devastated as it was her last chance to have her own child.
    He, on various forums, was torn a new one by hoards of women, the large majority of whom saw it only from the woman's point of view and couldn't understand why he didn't want to let the pregnancy go ahead.
    Nobody is saying that women should be forced to go ahead with a pregnancy, but it needs to be acknowledged that it can be just as devistating for a man to see his baby destroyed as it can be for a woman.
    I can certainly understand any man finding it impossible to forgive.
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    Emotive *******s. Any ape can get a woman up the duff; the womans probably doing him a favour anyway.
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    (Original post by caravaggio2)
    Thank you Joker that is just what I meant.
    Philbert, to make it easier to imaginge I recall a while ago a couple storing embryos due to her health problems. (Cancer?)
    Any hoo they split up before they used them. He requested that they be destroyed, which IIRC is what happened.
    She was devastated as it was her last chance to have her own child.
    He, on various forums, was torn a new one by hoards of women, the large majority of whom saw it only from the woman's point of view and couldn't understand why he didn't want to let the pregnancy go ahead.
    Nobody is saying that women should be forced to go ahead with a pregnancy, but it needs to be acknowledged that it can be just as devistating for a man to see his baby destroyed as it can be for a woman.
    I can certainly understand any man finding it impossible to forgive.
    I think I remember this. The cancer had left her infertile.

    I think this is a different situation though. If your girlfriend or wife were to abort your child, odds are you'd be able to have another one. This was literally the only way that woman could have a child that was biologically hers.
    If she aborted the only way you'd ever be able to have a child, then that would be a different argument to the one that most people are focusing on in this thread.
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    (Original post by Meyrin)
    "His" child. Oh, men can be so amusing.
    Wow.
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    (Original post by minimarshmallow)
    I think I remember this. The cancer had left her infertile.

    I think this is a different situation though. If your girlfriend or wife were to abort your child, odds are you'd be able to have another one. This was literally the only way that woman could have a child that was biologically hers.
    If she aborted the only way you'd ever be able to have a child, then that would be a different argument to the one that most people are focusing on in this thread.
    I take it back :X
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    (Original post by TurboCretin)
    Ever heard of surrogacy?

    As for the rest of your post, saying 'ah well, he can have another one' is kind of besides the point. Apart from anything else, the next woman may decide to abort their child, and so on. Men depend on women, as a group, to carry their babies.

    None of this is to say that I agree that women should be compelled to carry babies they don't want, but your post gives the air of dealing with the moral issues when really it's just waving them away.
    The cancer had left her completely infertile, in that it destroyed her eggs.
    Surrogacy wouldn't be a solution in this instance, since she would have been able to carry her own child if her ex-husband hadn't had the embryos destroyed.

    I'm not saying it's fine because he can have another one, I'm just saying that it's different to this situation because he can have another one. He should make his views heard, he should be consulted, but ultimately it isn't his decision.

    Also, as you pointed out, he could use a surrogate if women kept aborting his babies (I think that's quite unlikely though).
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    this is absolutely ridiculous

    whilst it is inevitable that a man has some kind of say in the pregnancy of the child , because it is also 50% him , the male's input is far less than the woman's - the resources , the effort , the pain of pregnancy for a woman is far beyond anything a man will ever be required to put into the child's upbringing.

    taking away the option of abortion could permanently scar the woman , just because a man decides that he has some kind of moronic claim over a foetus , and he holds this claim over another human being and forces them to go through the equivalent of torture for something she doesn't want. that doesn't sound right , does it?

    if i got pregnant by some unhappy accident , after taking all of the precautions i could have possibly taken , and i feel emotionally and physically not ready to bear a child , let alone look after it for the next eighteen years , and yet my boyfriend , who is not required to put any effort into the child past money required by the state , forces me to have it , i would be emotionally , physically and mentally scarred

    women would be forever terrified to enter into a sexual relationship with a man for fear of getting pregnant and relying on them to allow her to have an abortion

    stupid stupid ****ing logic
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    (Original post by minimarshmallow)
    The cancer had left her completely infertile, in that it destroyed her eggs.
    Surrogacy wouldn't be a solution in this instance, since she would have been able to carry her own child if her ex-husband hadn't had the embryos destroyed.

    I'm not saying it's fine because he can have another one, I'm just saying that it's different to this situation because he can have another one. He should make his views heard, he should be consulted, but ultimately it isn't his decision.

    Also, as you pointed out, he could use a surrogate if women kept aborting his babies (I think that's quite unlikely though).
    Ah sorry, I didn't realise what you were saying was limited to that specific situation!
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    (Original post by hotliketea)
    this is absolutely ridiculous

    whilst it is inevitable that a man has some kind of say in the pregnancy of the child , because it is also 50% him , the male's input is far less than the woman's - the resources , the effort , the pain of pregnancy for a woman is far beyond anything a man will ever be required to put into the child's upbringing.

    taking away the option of abortion could permanently scar the woman , just because a man decides that he has some kind of moronic claim over a foetus , and he holds this claim over another human being and forces them to go through the equivalent of torture for something she doesn't want. that doesn't sound right , does it?

    if i got pregnant by some unhappy accident , after taking all of the precautions i could have possibly taken , and i feel emotionally and physically not ready to bear a child , let alone look after it for the next eighteen years , and yet my boyfriend , who is not required to put any effort into the child past money required by the state , forces me to have it , i would be emotionally , physically and mentally scarred

    women would be forever terrified to enter into a sexual relationship with a man for fear of getting pregnant and relying on them to allow her to have an abortion

    stupid stupid ****ing logic
    Are you replying to the OP?

    I don't think the OP said anything about taking away women's right to abortion.
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    (Original post by hotliketea)
    this is absolutely ridiculous

    whilst it is inevitable that a man has some kind of say in the pregnancy of the child , because it is also 50% him , the male's input is far less than the woman's - the resources , the effort , the pain of pregnancy for a woman is far beyond anything a man will ever be required to put into the child's upbringing.

    taking away the option of abortion could permanently scar the woman , just because a man decides that he has some kind of moronic claim over a foetus , and he holds this claim over another human being and forces them to go through the equivalent of torture for something she doesn't want. that doesn't sound right , does it?

    if i got pregnant by some unhappy accident , after taking all of the precautions i could have possibly taken , and i feel emotionally and physically not ready to bear a child , let alone look after it for the next eighteen years , and yet my boyfriend , who is not required to put any effort into the child past money required by the state , forces me to have it , i would be emotionally , physically and mentally scarred

    women would be forever terrified to enter into a sexual relationship with a man for fear of getting pregnant and relying on them to allow her to have an abortion

    stupid stupid ****ing logic
    It's not stupid. As a woman, you would have the option to deal with the pain of pregnancy and childbirth for nine months, and then put it up for adoption after it's born. If on the other hand you aborted it against the father's wishes, you would be forcing him to deal with the pain of losing a child for the rest of his life. Neither choice is very nice, but I know which one I'd prefer if I were ever in that situation.

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    (Original post by TurboCretin)
    Are you replying to the OP?

    I don't think the OP said anything about taking away women's right to abortion.
    no , i was just replying to the moronic male replies on the topic
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    (Original post by Arbolus)
    It's not stupid. As a woman, you would have the option to deal with the pain of pregnancy and childbirth for nine months, and then put it up for adoption after it's born. If on the other hand you aborted it against the father's wishes, you would be forcing him to deal with the pain of losing a child for the rest of his life. Neither choice is very nice, but I know which one I'd prefer if I were ever in that situation.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    but you see , a man can reproduce with another woman who is willing to have his child - that is something he can prevent in advance , losing a child , by checking that the woman wants to have his child

    no woman can ultimately completely prevent pregnancy without becoming celibate or having her tubes tied , so forcing them to go through the life altering change that is pregnancy against her wishes because she was unable to prevent pregnancy due to nature is just silly
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    Those saying they could never forgive a woman for aborting are out of their minds

    I did not go through that many years of education to have to potentially put my uni life/career on hold because my so called partner (I'd assume-hope!) would 'never forgive me' for my choice of having an abortion. Shows a complete lack of respect imo

    For me, it's only 50-50 after the baby has been born. Not before. Blowing your load into your girlfriend and 9 months of pregnancy - well strangely enough, there's a sliiight difference in work load there.


    I know for sure I could never have an abortion but I know people who have, and have fully supported them. Always take the mans opinion into consideration ofc but at the end of the day it's the woman's body
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    Do you accept that it is possible for a man(not all) to be devistated just like a woman( not all) when losing a baby ?
    The thread isn't about a woman's choice to abort for whatever reason, that is a given.
    It is about whether a man could forgive his partner for ending their pregnancy.
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    (Original post by Philbert)
    It's hard to imagine because it's completely impossible and hypothetical. Why don't we actually focus on the reality of the issue, which is that women have the final say in whether they abort or not, otherwise we end up forcing women to have children.

    (Original post by Philbert)
    Not really comparable, since the man would have to do something to the woman's body to abort the baby, almost certainly with side-effects.

    Plus his career wouldn't necessarily have to be affected. Most men want to take time off for their baby, but women pretty much have to.
    I think the other poster was trying to get to the moral point, which is that women have the ultimate choice on whether to take away a man's future child.

    If it helps, imagine your fertilised egg is placed in a surrogate. For medical reasons, this is the only way you can conceive. In this hypothetical scenario, the man has the ultimate choice over whether the surrogate aborts the baby at any time (for the sake of argument let's say it's because he's the one paying her). If he chose to have the baby aborted, could you forgive him?
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    If the women aborts the baby simply due to selfish reasons without consulting the man, she is sick in the head.

    If there are health implications then obviously the woman takes priority.

    Morally, it's a joint venture. However, UK law would laugh the man out of court.
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    (Original post by TurboCretin)
    I think the other poster was trying to get to the moral point, which is that women have the ultimate choice on whether to take away a man's future child.

    If it helps, imagine your fertilised egg is placed in a surrogate. For medical reasons, this is the only way you can conceive. In this hypothetical scenario, the man has the ultimate choice over whether the surrogate aborts the baby at any time (for the sake of argument let's say it's because he's the one paying her). If he chose to have the baby aborted, could you forgive him?
    I don't particularly want kids. If I couldn't have them, I wouldn't pursue the surrogate route to have one, so I can't see myself in that situation. That said, if I had gone to all that effort to arrange and pay a surrogate, I would be a bit pissed off, but I wouldn't want to care for a baby alone. It still isn't a comparable situation, but I agree that it's the closest you can get. The most important thing to me would be that the surrogate mother was not forced into doing anything.

    I don't agree that it's a problem that men don't have the ultimate choice, because the alternative is forcing women to continue pregnancies and give birth.
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    (Original post by Philbert)
    I don't particularly want kids. If I couldn't have them, I wouldn't pursue the surrogate route to have one, so I can't see myself in that situation. That said, if I had gone to all that effort to arrange and pay a surrogate, I would be a bit pissed off, but I wouldn't want to care for a baby alone. It still isn't a comparable situation, but I agree that it's the closest you can get. The most important thing to me would be that the surrogate mother was not forced into doing anything.

    I don't agree that it's a problem that men don't have the ultimate choice, because the alternative is forcing women to continue pregnancies and give birth.
    I think that you are wrong to be so black and white about it - just because the mother has bodily autonomy doesn't mean that the situation isn't a problem for men. This thread isn't about whether women should be denied abortions, it's about whether men are entitled to feel aggrieved when women exercise their choice in favour of abortion. Saying "well, it's her choice" is no answer, because her choice doesn't only affect her.
 
 
 
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