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Can a man ever forgive a woman for aborting his child? Watch

  • View Poll Results: Can you forgive your wife/gf for aborting your child against your wishes?!
    No I can't.
    34
    56.67%
    Yes I can forgive her and I would support her.
    14
    23.33%
    maybe - it's her choice but I will secretly harbour feelings of resentment
    12
    20.00%

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    (Original post by TurboCretin)
    I think that you are wrong to be so black and white about it - just because the mother has bodily autonomy doesn't mean that the situation isn't a problem for men. This thread isn't about whether women should be denied abortions, it's about whether men are entitled to feel aggrieved when women exercise their choice in favour of abortion. Saying "well, it's her choice" is no answer, because her choice doesn't only affect her.
    Men are entitled to feel whatever they want. They don't have to support a woman if she does something they don't agree with. I'm just pointing out that a lot of people's opinions seem to be sliding in favour of men being able to veto women's choice for abortion.
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    (Original post by TurboCretin)
    I think that you are wrong to be so black and white about it - just because the mother has bodily autonomy doesn't mean that the situation isn't a problem for men. This thread isn't about whether women should be denied abortions, it's about whether men are entitled to feel aggrieved when women exercise their choice in favour of abortion. Saying "well, it's her choice" is no answer, because her choice doesn't only affect her.
    Exactly and more than that we are conflating two different issues here. She is legally allowed to do this, but that doesn't exempt her from people especially the man whose child it is being not happy about it.
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    If me and my partner decided to have a child and then she changed her mind late into the pregnancy I would be very upset. However, if I loved a woman enough to impregnate her and trusted her enough to not change their mind then I would (maybe) get over her choosing to abort. I can always go off and impregnate other people if I wanted to end the relationship, but I think from a woman's point of view childbirth is a bigger investment. That would stop me from turning into Immortal Technique.

    But, if it happens a second time then I'm off.
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    (Original post by Philbert)
    Men are entitled to feel whatever they want. They don't have to support a woman if she does something they don't agree with. I'm just pointing out that a lot of people's opinions seem to be sliding in favour of men being able to veto women's choice for abortion.
    I'm glad you agree.

    Unfortunately, where things are reversed and a woman keeps a baby the father doesn't want, the law says he must support her. Do you think that's wrong, too?
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    (Original post by TurboCretin)
    I'm glad you agree.

    Unfortunately, where things are reversed and a woman keeps a baby the father doesn't want, the law says he must support her. Do you think that's wrong, too?
    Going off topic here. The thread is about en being upset for a woman aborting their child, not about men having to support the child once it is born.

    However, it depends.
    If they initially agreed that they wanted the baby and then tried to get out when it was too late: tough tits.
    If they make no effort to tell the woman they don't want children and refuse to use contraception: tough tits.
    If they never wanted the child in the first place and made it absolutely clear they they didn't want children before it was conceived, and contraception failed, then yeah, he shouldn't have to support the baby unless he chooses to. I wouldn't judge him there, although it's going to be her word against his.

    I don't think there should be a blanket law for every case, however, I'm not sure how practical that is to enforce. Women shouldn't have children with men who won't support them, but children shouldn't have to suffer because of their parents' actions.

    Still, I don't think that having to support a child you didn't want is comparable to being forced women to gestate and give birth to babies they don't want, which is what some of the posters on here seem to be in favour of.
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    (Original post by Philbert)
    Going off topic here. The thread is about en being upset for a woman aborting their child, not about men having to support the child once it is born.

    However, it depends.
    If they initially agreed that they wanted the baby and then tried to get out when it was too late: tough tits.
    If they make no effort to tell the woman they don't want children and refuse to use contraception: tough tits.
    If they never wanted the child in the first place and made it absolutely clear they they didn't want children before it was conceived, and contraception failed, then yeah, he shouldn't have to support the baby unless he chooses to. I wouldn't judge him there, although it's going to be her word against his.

    I don't think there should be a blanket law for every case, however, I'm not sure how practical that is to enforce. Women shouldn't have children with men who won't support them, but children shouldn't have to suffer because of their parents' actions.

    Still, I don't think that having to support a child you didn't want is comparable to being forced women to gestate and give birth to babies they don't want, which is what some of the posters on here seem to be in favour of.
    I realise it's a bit off-topic - I just wanted to hear your views on the other side of the coin. I agree that you can't compare 18 years of financial support to pregnancy, but hopefully you'll agree that it's a large burden.

    I think you left out a fairly significant possibility in your answer (though I appreciate you entertaining the point). What if kids have never been discussed, but condoms were used? This is the most common situation for younger people.

    FWIW, I take the view that if women have the ultimate choice over whether to keep babies (and I think it's right that they do) then men should be given a window of opportunity to opt out of supporting (unplanned) ones. To do otherwise is to punish men quite severely I think.
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    Personally, I think the woman should have the final say in this situation as it is her body. However, I would strongly advise discussing it and seeing if there is any way round it. Maybe you could try for a baby another time? This might not be the only opportunity to have a child. In terms of how the man feels, there would probably be several emotions going through his head: anger, betrayal etc, but in the end the woman might suffer a greater mental risk if she choses to carry it or abort it.
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    It depends on various circumstances.
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    I'm against abortion so no I wouldn't forgive her.
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    There seems to be an issue with this thread in that the question asked is "Can a man forgive a woman for aborting his child", and a worrying number of the answers are along the lines of 'well the woman has a right to do what she wants with her body, she has the final say'. Which is true, but it completely ignores the fact that a right to do something doesn't give you the right to everyone approving of and supporting what you are doing.

    To answer the question I'd say a man can forgive in this situation, but the thing we have to remember with forgiveness is that we're acknowledging that the person we're forgiving has done wrong. There seems to be this equally worrying trend of people conflating forgiveness with something else entirely (though I'm not sure what it is), as they seem to be of the opinion that forgiveness shouldn't be given because something wrong has been done.
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    This entirely depends on the situation, does it not? One may very easily put together a skeleton argument in order to answer this question however, without an explicit context being set I find this to be a question which is very hard to answer with any form of depth.

    The question the OP has asked is "Can a man ever forgive a woman for aborting his child?" (I also believe that "their" would be more appropriate than the use of the work "his"). Without context shouldn't we be left questioning the morals of the act itself and whether the man has the right to forgive the woman on a moral basis? Otherwise, aren't we answering a different question entirely?
 
 
 
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