In love but still want to be single?

3

This is more of a general question than asking for advice, I just want to know if it's common or not to feel this way.

I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year now and it's only my second 'real' relationship and he's definitely the first person I've ever been in love with. I'm really happy with him and our relationship even though it's sometimes a long distance one- we make it work though and it's not a permanent thing. But despite this I still can't help wondering what it'd be like to be single right now, to meet new guys and have fun on my own. I think it's just a case of 'the grass looks greener on the other side' and I wouldn't want to leave him right now but does anyone else know what I mean?

Reply 1

Guffy

You've said it already: the grass always looks greener on the other side.

When I'm with someone I want the freedom and lack of concerns that comes with being single, but when I'm single I want the regular sex and even the emotional intimacy associated with relationships.

I think for many of us, it's simply in our nature to be dissatisfied with our lot in life.

Reply 2

Meep!

9

Look at it this way, if you really love this guy, then stick with him, because to have someone you genuinely love and who loves you back is a great thing. One of my friends made the huge mistake of splitting up with her b/f of about 18 months, because some complete w*nker had lead her on to believe that he would be better for her etc etc...what did he do a week later? Dump her. She's spent the last several months being generally depressed because of the mistake she made by giving in to her 'grass is greener on the other side' style feelings, and almost begging the guy she split with to take her back. Which he won't.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

stick with him. i was with my first "real" bf for 10months, i decided i thought i'd prefer to be single, thought it would be more fun etc etc, when actually i was still very much in love with him and happy really. so i kind of forced myself to break up with him because i'd convinced myself being single would be better. it was the worst mistake i've ever made. this was amonth ago, i'm still not voer him. being single sucks and i feel really lonely. he was also a really good friend of mine before we started dating and now he won't even talk to me. believe me, you're in the best situation.

Reply 4

high priestess fnord

9

i kinda feel like that. i had soo much fun when i was single, trying new things (new people XD) flirting without having to worry about it. i love my bf and the sex is amazing but i cant help missing being single sometimes

Reply 5

squigaletta

It's not that I miss being single (not at all), but I know that if I'd planned out my life I wouldn't have started uni with a boyfriend. It would be lovely to be single and free, but I know it wouldn't be better than proper love, something that actually means something.

Reply 6

matt@internet

12

Anonymous

stick with him. i was with my first "real" bf for 10months, i decided i thought i'd prefer to be single, thought it would be more fun etc etc, when actually i was still very much in love with him and happy really. so i kind of forced myself to break up with him because i'd convinced myself being single would be better. it was the worst mistake i've ever made. this was amonth ago, i'm still not voer him. being single sucks and i feel really lonely. he was also a really good friend of mine before we started dating and now he won't even talk to me. believe me, you're in the best situation.

Why the anon?

Reply 7

khil

15

It's probably not that uncommon to feel that way. If it helps at all, you could try spending weekends apart or whatever, if it's space you need that's making you feel that way - give yourselves time to miss each other. I don't feel like I wanna be single but I have realised the freedom that comes with singleness (and I don't mean pulling guys etc cus I don't do that anyway, nor ONS's) - it can be really nice, yeh. Think of it this way - there's a time for everything. If you're not single right now, you're probably not meant to be single right now.

Reply 8

username47781

20

Yes i would say it is not unsual to feel that way but you wouldn't want to seriously thing the grass is always greener on the other side. When that happens then something is not right in your current relationship, if you really love your boyfriend you would not consider being single and having fun.

Least of all if you do want to have fun with other guys you must dump your boyfriend first not just do it behind his back, however i suspect you do geniunely love your boyfriend and in reality you would not leave him.

In love but still want to be single?

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