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Is it wrong to feel annoyed/upset with parents if a young sibling is overweight Watch

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    I have an 11 year old half sister (we have different fathers) who is overweight. I am 23, so there is quite an age difference between us and that has led to us having completely different upbringings. My mother was turning 20 when she had me, she was young and single and life was great for us, she hated to be in so we'd be out exploring every weekend and I did gymnastics and trampolining to competetive level from a young age. This led to me becoming a very active/ health conscious adult, I studied dance and am now studying martial arts - diet and exercise will always be important to me.

    Sisters childhood: mum had no energy due to back problems, mum in relationship while raising sister so less if any of the activities me and mum did together. sister's dad likes to game so whenever she got bored and asked for cake/ ice cream/ sandwich he'd say yes so she wouldn't nag. Somehow I feel guilty about not stopping this earlier but I was in secondary school and obviously was completely oblivious. I should note that my mum and stepdad are also quite overweight and they think I'm the one with the problem when I get annoyed and try to change sister's eating habits. Also, we had to move her to another school because of BULLYING about her weight when she was in PRIMARY school. I got her to join martial arts with me to get her more active and we've been gong for a year now but I still hold some anger for this bad start I feel she's been given. Am I right or should I leave them alone?
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    yeh i'm with you 100%. they probably can't see the problem as, as you say, they're overweight themselves.
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    My parents were lazy with me and my siblings, have us junk food and we would get told off if we left any food on the plate and they'd give us massive portions,
    I'm angry at them as my sister is 12 and is double the size I was at 12
    But when I confront them they say it's not fair to take the junk food away cause we go it

    I'd like to mention my mum weighs 23 stone so I thought that was normal until secondary school.

    I'm angry because now that I know the implications of being overweight
    I can't change anything I eat until next year when I move out for Uni because they just refuse to buy the healthy stuff I ask for.

    Because of being overweight I have body issues, a few years ago I started self harm (a year and 2 months clean though) and it's a horrible life

    I don't hate them for it
    I just get so angry looking at my mum and how she could put the same fate on us

    My older brother is 19 and he is about 19 stone and he doesn't understand the full implications of being that big, but is getting denied from working in his field in restaurants because of his weight

    And my sister is 12 and had a small amount of bullying when she was 10 but since then nothing. I take her to the gym with me to help her out
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    (Original post by white boy)
    yeh i'm with you 100%. they probably can't see the problem as, as you say, they're overweight themselves.
    Thanks I thought the martial arts would help her lose weight before comprehensive school because to be perfectly frank, life is hard if you're overweight in secondary. I just think it's sad that some people allow their children to be like this. Or maybe I'm too strict :lol:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My parents were lazy with me and my siblings, have us junk food and we would get told off if we left any food on the plate and they'd give us massive portions,
    I'm angry at them as my sister is 12 and is double the size I was at 12
    But when I confront them they say it's not fair to take the junk food away cause we go it

    I'd like to mention my mum weighs 23 stone so I thought that was normal until secondary school.

    I'm angry because now that I know the implications of being overweight
    I can't change anything I eat until next year when I move out for Uni because they just refuse to buy the healthy stuff I ask for.

    Because of being overweight I have body issues, a few years ago I started self harm (a year and 2 months clean though) and it's a horrible life

    I don't hate them for it
    I just get so angry looking at my mum and how she could put the same fate on us

    My older brother is 19 and he is about 19 stone and he doesn't understand the full implications of being that big, but is getting denied from working in his field in restaurants because of his weight

    And my sister is 12 and had a small amount of bullying when she was 10 but since then nothing. I take her to the gym with me to help her out
    This makes me sad when the whole family are trapped and led down the same path as their parents just because they eat out of the same fridge. It sounds like you're ready for a new lifestyle at uni though good luck with that
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    (Original post by DeceitfulDove)
    Thanks I thought the martial arts would help her lose weight before comprehensive school because to be perfectly frank, life is hard if you're overweight in secondary. I just think it's sad that some people allow their children to be like this. Or maybe I'm too strict :lol:
    i was going to say the same thing. does your sis have her own opinion on it all?

    the martial arts is a really good thing you're doing btw
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    How can you be 3 years older than your mother :/
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    (Original post by DeceitfulDove)

    Sisters childhood: mum had no energy due to back problems, mum in relationship while raising sister so less if any of the activities me and mum did together. sister's dad likes to game so whenever she got bored and asked for cake/ ice cream/ sandwich he'd say yes so she wouldn't nag. Somehow I feel guilty about not stopping this earlier but I was in secondary school and obviously was completely oblivious. I should note that my mum and stepdad are also quite overweight and they think I'm the one with the problem when I get annoyed and try to change sister's eating habits. Also, we had to move her to another school because of BULLYING about her weight when she was in PRIMARY school. I got her to join martial arts with me to get her more active and we've been gong for a year now but I still hold some anger for this bad start I feel she's been given. Am I right or should I leave them alone?
    I wonder why parents allow this to happen when they know full well what's going to happen to the child, mentally and physically, if the child became overweight. I'm sure they have seen how terrible it is to be pick-on for being the fat kid at school when they were small?
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    (Original post by white boy)
    i was going to say the same thing. does your sis have her own opinion on it all?

    the martial arts is a really good thing you're doing btw
    I think her opinion is just that she loves food tbh. As soon as she walks through the door it's 'what's for food' then after food it's 'can I have a sandwich' she eats when she's bored. Occasionally she's made comments which explicitly address her weight, like 'is it gone yet' (in reference to her stomach after a couple months of training) or 'I can't wear this cos of my belly'. I don't think she feels the pressure as much as I do though because health and fitness was drilled into me as a core standard, like cleanliness etc, something basic.
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    (Original post by Olympiad)
    How can you be 3 years older than your mother :/
    You've lost me mum had me when she was 20, and I'm 23.
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    (Original post by DeceitfulDove)
    You've lost me mum had me when she was 20, and I'm 23.
    How can you be older than your mum then :/

    My mum had me in her 20's too, and I'm 17.
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    (Original post by Olympiad)
    How can you be older than your mum then :/

    My mum had me in her 20's too, and I'm 17.
    She was 20 when she had me 23 years ago, she's 43 now.
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    (Original post by DeceitfulDove)
    She was 20 when she had me 23 years ago, she's 43 now.
    Oooooh I understand! Sorry!
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    (Original post by Olympiad)
    How can you be older than your mum then :/

    My mum had me in her 20's too, and I'm 17.

    (Original post by DeceitfulDove)
    She was 20 when she had me 23 years ago, she's 43 now.
    I'm not sure what was so hard to grasp about this :indiff: :lol:
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    (Original post by Precious Illusions)
    I'm not sure what was so hard to grasp about this :indiff:
    It is too early in the morning for me

    20 is rather young, which is why I was probably confused.

    OP: have you spoken to your sister directly?
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    (Original post by DeceitfulDove)
    This makes me sad when the whole family are trapped and led down the same path as their parents just because they eat out of the same fridge. It sounds like you're ready for a new lifestyle at uni though good luck with that
    Thanks! I hope your sister gets healthier from the martial arts
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    Just how overweight is she? Your concerns might be legitimate - at the extreme end overfeeding can be viewed as child abuse and children have been removed by social services because of it. At the other end, this kid could be only just outside the normal range (or even within it - I don't know what standard you're using). Impossible for us to tell really.

    Encouraging exercise is good regardless of weight though - well done for doing that.
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    (Original post by Olympiad)
    It is too early in the morning for me

    20 is rather young, which is why I was probably confused.

    OP: have you spoken to your sister directly?
    If I try to raise the issue I get scowled at for picking on her :grumble:
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    (Original post by nexttime)
    Just how overweight is she? Your concerns might be legitimate - at the extreme end overfeeding can be viewed as child abuse and children have been removed by social services because of it. At the other end, this kid could be only just outside the normal range (or even within it - I don't know what standard you're using). Impossible for us to tell really.

    Encouraging exercise is good regardless of weight though - well done for doing that.
    She is in ladies size 14 clothes and her weight is concentrated on her stomach so she looks...heavily pregnant (ick) in a dress. She can't run and when she can't fit into clothes they get given to me. An 11 year old giving ckothes to a 23 year old is odd in itself. I have no idea what her weight is at the moment. Thanks
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    (Original post by DeceitfulDove)
    I think her opinion is just that she loves food tbh. As soon as she walks through the door it's 'what's for food' then after food it's 'can I have a sandwich' she eats when she's bored. Occasionally she's made comments which explicitly address her weight, like 'is it gone yet' (in reference to her stomach after a couple months of training) or 'I can't wear this cos of my belly'. I don't think she feels the pressure as much as I do though because health and fitness was drilled into me as a core standard, like cleanliness etc, something basic.
    :/ that's sad. hopefully she starts taking more influence from you.
 
 
 
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