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Terribly selfish and unsupportive mother

I don't know what it is, but after my parents split when I was in my teens (early 20s now), my mother has just never been there for me.

She is incredibly selfish and cries poor ALL the time so that she doesn't have to support me at uni.

This year I had to move back home to complete the rest of my degree (unfortunately my lucky sister lives with dad :\ ) b/c it was too hard and my own mother wouldn't spare a cent for me.

The most she can give me is a room in her house, but lately whenever I'm there, she views me with contempt and distrust, telling me I'm lazy (even tho I'm doing an extremely difficult course at uni) b/c I'm not working.

Last night she stormed into my room when I was doing homework asking me why I put a teatowel in a bucket in the laundry, and I'm like 'WTF??' and this argument went on for two hours which ended in me breaking stuff.

The other day she threatened to remove the phone line because I only paid 3/4 of the phone bill, not the full amount but I told her she uses the phone too!!! Jeez, and she was like 'oh I've only used it once or twice, I have a mobile' and I'm like 'bull****!'.

Omg. !

I can't take this anymore. Help. What should I do? :frown:

Reply 1

Shéamais

11

All I can say is somehow workout how to move out.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Man With No Name

All I can say is somehow workout how to move out.

Yes but she is not supporting me! I asked her, wait! :eek:

No. BEGGED her if she would let me move out, and if she could perhaps pay half rent or something, and she flat out said no! :mad:

Omg. What a biznitch. Sorry I don't care who's out there reading, I need to vent my anger, I hate her.

Reply 3

Shéamais

11

Anonymous

Yes but she is not supporting me! I asked her, wait! :eek:

No. BEGGED her if she would let me move out, and if she could perhaps pay half rent or something, and she flat out said no! :mad:

Omg. What a biznitch. Sorry I don't care who's out there reading, I need to vent my anger, I hate her.

Join the army. If you are intelligent you an get a very good career out of it, and you will be away from your mother. What other advice can I give?

Reply 4

grace

15

Anonymous

Yes but she is not supporting me! I asked her, wait! :eek:

No. BEGGED her if she would let me move out, and if she could perhaps pay half rent or something, and she flat out said no! :mad:

Omg. What a biznitch. Sorry I don't care who's out there reading, I need to vent my anger, I hate her.

you need to be slapped. you are in your twenties, mooching off your mother and complaining that she has a problem with you not helping with the bills or laundry?! get over yourself and get some respect. and don't play this 'boofreakinhoo i'm a student i have no money' card on me; i don't have a student loan, didn't have a penny of savings when i started uni, or an overdraft, or any help from my parents. i fully support myself whilst at uni and my parents make me pay rent as well as do chores etc if i come home for holidays. yet i still get damn good grades, whilst respecting my parents at the same time. stop acting like a child, if you don't like the fact that your mother isn't prepared to carry on breastfeeding you then leave. simple.

Reply 5

Shéamais

11

Join the army (I wish had the bravery to join as a reg without a degreee).

Reply 6

taylorlady

if your mother has started acting this way just recently perhaps it is bec she is lonely. she doesnt have your father anymore since they split. and maybe she thinks your dad is somehow has/had taken advantage of her?

she may be going through menopause. that will make her a lil psycho.
she wants you to be on your own and it hurts because you want her to support you thru your transition into adult hood.
maybe she has less money since your dad and her split up?
maybe she views you as your dad and feel since he left her so will you-or that you are the enemy?

would she consider going to therapy together so you can talk things out in a controlled setting?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

taylorlady

if your mother has started acting this way just recently perhaps it is bec she is lonely. she doesnt have your father anymore since they split. and maybe she thinks your dad is somehow has/had taken advantage of her?

she may be going through menopause. that will make her a lil psycho.
she wants you to be on your own and it hurts because you want her to support you thru your transition into adult hood.
maybe she has less money since your dad and her split up?
maybe she views you as your dad and feel since he left her so will you-or that you are the enemy?

would she consider going to therapy together so you can talk things out in a controlled setting?

Thanks Taylorlady :smile:

What I failed to mention earlier is that yes, I suspect she is suffering from some kind of menopause so her hormones are all over the place - even my father agreed that she takes her anger out on other people.

Including myself.

Well I'm thinking about moving out with uni friends anyway, it would be a more worthwhile experience but I also just feel she is trying to get rid of me and I feel sad :frown:

And this is why I don't like her, and never will, but I guess you can't help who you're related to :p:

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

grace

i fully support myself whilst at uni and my parents make me pay rent as well as do chores etc if i come home for holidays.

Out of curiosity, what do you do to support yourself? I'm looking for a job now coz I'm not getting enough shifts with my sales assistance job, and not being paid enough.

Anyway I'm a practical person at the end of the day and would be interested to know. :smile:

Reply 9

matt@internet

12

grace

you need to be slapped. you are in your twenties, mooching off your mother and complaining that she has a problem with you not helping with the bills or laundry?! get over yourself and get some respect. and don't play this 'boofreakinhoo i'm a student i have no money' card on me; i don't have a student loan, didn't have a penny of savings when i started uni, or an overdraft, or any help from my parents. i fully support myself whilst at uni and my parents make me pay rent as well as do chores etc if i come home for holidays. yet i still get damn good grades, whilst respecting my parents at the same time. stop acting like a child, if you don't like the fact that your mother isn't prepared to carry on breastfeeding you then leave. simple.

Anonymous

Yes but she is not supporting me!

Anonymous

The other day she threatened to remove the phone line because I only paid 3/4 of the phone bill, not the full amount but I told her she uses the phone too!!!

Sounds to me like he isn't crying poor, and is helping out.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

matt@internet

Sounds to me like he isn't crying poor, and is helping out.

Thankyou Matt@internet :smile:

I'm a chick tho :p:

But that's beside the point.

I am indeed helping out and not 'mooching' in the slightest, but my mother is becomming increasingly harder to deal with, and regularly views me with contempt. It's hard to deal with when your degree involves biology and you have to study but don't have *that* much time to work. Or even have a life when not working.

Reply 11

Schroedinger's Pandora

13

Stop whining. My mum kicked me out when I was 17 and I don't get so much as a phonecall these days.

You use the phone, you pay for it. Welcome to the real world.

Reply 12

s_a_m_a_s

dude, shes your mum.
surely u owe her something from childhood?
stop bitching! :smile:

Reply 13

Talon

18

Why do people think that if a parents supports you from childhood they have the right to make your life a misery?

Reply 14

frost105

14

grace

you need to be slapped. you are in your twenties, mooching off your mother and complaining that she has a problem with you not helping with the bills or laundry?! get over yourself and get some respect. and don't play this 'boofreakinhoo i'm a student i have no money' card on me; i don't have a student loan, didn't have a penny of savings when i started uni, or an overdraft, or any help from my parents. i fully support myself whilst at uni and my parents make me pay rent as well as do chores etc if i come home for holidays. yet i still get damn good grades, whilst respecting my parents at the same time. stop acting like a child, if you don't like the fact that your mother isn't prepared to carry on breastfeeding you then leave. simple.

I totally agree!
When I was at uni I paid half the bills and gave my mum £50 a week. She didnt ask it from me but i knew that it would be expected from me to contribute to he house. I had to get a part time job and some weeks I worked 20-30 hours a week as well as uni and still can out with a 2:1.

Reply 15

squigaletta

I just wondered, why is your dad not helping you out, you give all this hate to your mum but your dad doesn't seem to be doing anything for you either...you do have two parents!

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

squigaletta

I just wondered, why is your dad not helping you out, you give all this hate to your mum but your dad doesn't seem to be doing anything for you either...you do have two parents!

He does help out. Even though I work hard during the summer to fund myself through university (fees), he at least pays for my books/travel fares and stuff like that :biggrin:

And he's also there for me when I have issues, so he's easy to talk to/sympathetic, whereas my mother is unsympathetic, ruthless, and mean.

Thanks Talon :smile:

Reply 17

Segat1

16

OP If you don't like it, then change it. Get a job, like most people have, move out and forget about your idiotic mother. Are you still tied to her apron strings? If you're old enough to go to uni then you are old enough to move out. Just do it. You don't have to ask her permission anymore.

Reply 18

Schroedinger's Pandora

13

So what the hell are you whining for? You have a darn sight more than most kids.

Get you own place and support yourself like other students do, and don't give us that "mummy won't let me move out" crap. Maybe then you'll know what it's really like to struggle financially and grow up a little.

You sound like a spoilt kid.

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

OP

Segat1

OP If you don't like it, then change it. Get a job, like most people have, move out and forget about your idiotic mother. Are you still tied to her apron strings? If you're old enough to go to uni then you are old enough to move out. Just do it. You don't have to ask her permission anymore.

Thankyou, ACTUAL good advice for once :wink:

Yes my mother IS idiotic, and she has never been there for me and it makes me feel sad. :frown:

But you're right, I'm actively searching for places now lol and looking for more work. How do you guys do it though? Like cover for rent as well as food/normal stuff?

Terribly selfish and unsupportive mother

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