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Became involved with a girl who was in a relationship. Watch

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    Ok I know the type of response I might get. I'm just looking for some advice or validation.

    Met this girl at school. We are both art majors with very similar tastes. We had instant chemistry when we first started talking. She eventually gave me her number and I was stoked. Later found out she had a bf so I backed off for months. Later on we saw each other again and the chemistry was still there. We always had so much fun being around each other and with such similar taste in stuff we decided to collaborate. 2 weeks into our project my feelings for her got intense. I know I shouldnt have but i made a move on her. She told me she liked me a lot and she had tried breaking up with her bf the week before because they were having problems. They're a long distance couple. He lives in another state and has been really distant toward her whenever they'd meet up.the bf was upset and wanted to work things out and she agreed, but then of course I happened. I figured at the time she would break it off with him anyway because it was only a matter of time. We continued seeing each other for about 4 months and everything was great. We had so much fun together and she would always tell me how much she liked me. Really supported me with my own projects as I supported her with her stuff. It was honestly a relationship I had always wanted despite the fact that she was cheating on someone the whole time. Near the end of this relationship I was feeling really guilty about everything and I thought we can't keep going on like this. I was thinking about breaking up with her if she didn't call it off with the bf soon. She had told me in the past that it was a delicate situation because they'd been together for 3 years and didn't want to hurt him. But eventually they did actually break up but on his terms. The following day we hung out and she told me this was a good thing. She seemed happy about it. But 2 weeks later she ends it with me and says she's not as strong as she thought and just wants to be friends to not ruin the positivity of what he have now because there were no real sour moments at all between us. I asked if she just wanted to see other people and she said no, she just wants to be single and be alone because she's not ready to commit to another relationship after being in one for so long. I told her ok. Sad thing is I had planned to go on a date with her that day she broke up with me. We hung out at a museum and it was honestly still really fun even though I was feeling down inside. Before I left her place I told her I'd really miss her and she kept telling me we'd still work on projects and stuff. Later that night she texts me a funny video. I tell her I know I agreed to be friends and a part of me really wants that but I need some time because I still have feelings for you. She said that she too needs time and space to look at everything clearly. I went NC after that and after much time I still like her a lot. She was the sweetest/coolest girl I've ever been with.

    I know now I should just move on and forget her. Friendship is enticing because she's so fun but I know these feelings are true and I want more than that. So I'm thinking I should hold onto NC until she wants to continue with me. It's been rough though. Super miss her everyday. And there's no way for me to really know if she'd give me another shot. Part of me thinks she just used me to fill a void, unintentionally though. So yeah give it to me straight. I know I'm foolish I understand. just need another perspective.
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    (Original post by Mono hobo)
    Ok I know the type of response I might get. I'm just looking for some advice or validation.

    Met this girl at school. We are both art majors with very similar tastes. We had instant chemistry when we first started talking. She eventually gave me her number and I was stoked. Later found out she had a bf so I backed off for months. Later on we saw each other again and the chemistry was still there. We always had so much fun being around each other and with such similar taste in stuff we decided to collaborate. 2 weeks into our project my feelings for her got intense. I know I shouldnt have but i made a move on her. She told me she liked me a lot and she had tried breaking up with her bf the week before because they were having problems. They're a long distance couple. He lives in another state and has been really distant toward her whenever they'd meet up.the bf was upset and wanted to work things out and she agreed, but then of course I happened. I figured at the time she would break it off with him anyway because it was only a matter of time. We continued seeing each other for about 4 months and everything was great. We had so much fun together and she would always tell me how much she liked me. Really supported me with my own projects as I supported her with her stuff. It was honestly a relationship I had always wanted despite the fact that she was cheating on someone the whole time. Near the end of this relationship I was feeling really guilty about everything and I thought we can't keep going on like this. I was thinking about breaking up with her if she didn't call it off with the bf soon. She had told me in the past that it was a delicate situation because they'd been together for 3 years and didn't want to hurt him. But eventually they did actually break up but on his terms. The following day we hung out and she told me this was a good thing. She seemed happy about it. But 2 weeks later she ends it with me and says she's not as strong as she thought and just wants to be friends to not ruin the positivity of what he have now because there were no real sour moments at all between us. I asked if she just wanted to see other people and she said no, she just wants to be single and be alone because she's not ready to commit to another relationship after being in one for so long. I told her ok. Sad thing is I had planned to go on a date with her that day she broke up with me. We hung out at a museum and it was honestly still really fun even though I was feeling down inside. Before I left her place I told her I'd really miss her and she kept telling me we'd still work on projects and stuff. Later that night she texts me a funny video. I tell her I know I agreed to be friends and a part of me really wants that but I need some time because I still have feelings for you. She said that she too needs time and space to look at everything clearly. I went NC after that and after much time I still like her a lot. She was the sweetest/coolest girl I've ever been with.

    I know now I should just move on and forget her. Friendship is enticing because she's so fun but I know these feelings are true and I want more than that. So I'm thinking I should hold onto NC until she wants to continue with me. It's been rough though. Super miss her everyday. And there's no way for me to really know if she'd give me another shot. Part of me thinks she just used me to fill a void, unintentionally though. So yeah give it to me straight. I know I'm foolish I understand. just need another perspective.
    The problem is she's just come out of the relationship and she's not gonna want to go straight into another, I've made that mistake and it really messes you up. Best bit is to give it time, maybe stay in touch for now and see how it goes.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    The problem is she's just come out of the relationship and she's not gonna want to go straight into another, I've made that mistake and it really messes you up. Best bit is to give it time, maybe stay in touch for now and see how it goes.
    i totally understand that for sure. I want to give her time to heal and work through stuff. I'd love to keep in touch and everything because i really miss her like crazy, but don't you think the fact that she needs space means i shouldn't contact? It's been hard because we're pretty active people on instagram. After she said needed time and space i went NC, but for some reason she still liked my recent pics on insta. I've been ignoring all her pics and not liking even though i really want to because i genuinely do like them. I dont know if this is wrong or not. I feel like an ass doing this whole NC thing honestly. I just hope she understands.
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    I was the guy in the long term relationship in this situation quite recently where my girl got on really well with someone else. Eventually we broke up as she was getting confused/mixed feelings.

    However once she had split up with me, she was very upset and the guy she got on well with reminded her of the pain/guilt that was caused by splitting with me. Now she doesn't like him the way she used to.



    Advice wise, i would say either make an effort to get over her and stop worrying about this situation or play the long game.
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    Aye I'm sorry about that man. This sucks. I feel like ****....
 
 
 
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