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People quite often say 'not everything is about you' and that I am self absorbed Watch

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    Others have said 'stop being selfish/self centred' or 'stop feeling sorry for yourself'.

    What does this say about my character, is it legitimate? Does it just mean I am neurotic? In general I try to make others happy, but as my problems have grown, I have started ranging from upsetting them with my conflict in opinion, to outright pissing them off. This happens online and IRL-my family, my ex, sometimes my close friends, and so on.

    An example: my dad comes home from work stressed; I think I'm the cause of it. It turns out I'm not, but after 10 minutes of unnecessary apologising we have an argument and he's now pissed off.
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    Others have said 'stop being selfish/self centred' or 'stop feeling sorry for yourself'.

    What does this say about my character, is it legitimate? Does it just mean I am neurotic?
    Oh you, stop it, this thread is taking up precious space on the computer, not everything is about you ya know


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    (Original post by Yeah dude)
    Oh you, stop it, this thread is taking up precious space on the computer, not everything is about you ya know


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    yes, that

    and long time no see bud
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    yes, that

    and long time no see bud
    Yeah dude, I'm stoked you're stoked everyone's stoked, bummed that I can't give you a serious answer to your question but hopefully someone does


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    Get over yourself ffs :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    Get over yourself ffs :rolleyes:
    I don't understand how you can be so harsh to me, when I spent a couple of hours trying to help (not necessarily succeeding in helping) you last night when you felt lonely.
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    People who say "not everything is about you" = people who think everything is about them.
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    I don't understand how you can be so harsh to me, when I spent a couple of hours trying to help (not necessarily succeeding in helping) you last night when you felt lonely.
    You need people to be harsh on you. You only made this thread because I said that not everything is about you.
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    You need people to be harsh on you. You only made this thread because I said that not everything is about you.
    that was the immediate trigger in fairness, other moments have been my sister calling her 9 month old daughter a 'drama queen' (staring at me while she said it) and (imagining?) my brother muttering 'I think I've had enough of him' to his gf yesterday as I left my mum's


    I'm guilty of a lot of projection, it's not healthy
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    that was the immediate trigger in fairness, other moments have been my sister calling her 9 month old daughter a 'drama queen' (staring at me while she said it) and (imagining?) my brother muttering 'I think I've had enough of him' to his gf yesterday as I left my mum's


    I'm guilty of a lot of projection, it's not healthy
    as you said, youre probably just imagining it.

    i hope you get talking therapy soon because this reliance on tsr isn't healthy. if youre going to be that affected by what people on here say to you, then you really shouldn't be here at all. i acknowledged i had made a mistake in assuming the post was for me.
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    as you said, youre probably just imagining it.

    i hope you get talking therapy soon because this reliance on tsr isn't healthy. if youre going to be that affected by what people on here say to you, then you really shouldn't be here at all. i acknowledged i had made a mistake in assuming the post was for me.
    I'd say I am less reliant now than I was, but still unhealthily so.

    As I mention elsewhere, Step 4 Psychologies waiting list!

    You are forgiven
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    (Original post by A Mysterious Lord)
    People who say "not everything is about you" = people who think everything is about them.
    it's never because the person it's being said to, is actually really self-absorbed?
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    I don't think you are necessarily self-absorbed but I think maybe you see an infinite number of flaws in your personality and need people to tell you why and what could it mean?

    We all have nasty, irritating things we don't like about ourselves but most of us have good qualities and things that others don't have. Maybe try to accept and be at peace with the things you don't like about yourself. Also, just because a negative thought about yourself comes into your head doesn't mean it to be true. x
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    I don't understand how you can be so harsh to me, when I spent a couple of hours trying to help (not necessarily succeeding in helping) you last night when you felt lonely.
    I agree. That was harsh.
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    Everything is about you. If you feel it's not about you, make it about you. That's how you gain a reputation. Just make that reputation positive.
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    Others have said 'stop being selfish/self centred' or 'stop feeling sorry for yourself'.

    What does this say about my character, is it legitimate? Does it just mean I am neurotic? In general I try to make others happy, but as my problems have grown, I have started ranging from upsetting them with my conflict in opinion, to outright pissing them off. This happens online and IRL-my family, my ex, sometimes my close friends, and so on.

    An example: my dad comes home from work stressed; I think I'm the cause of it. It turns out I'm not, but after 10 minutes of unnecessary apologising we have an argument and he's now pissed off.
    I dont know about all the other people you said that have said this to you so i cant pass comment as a whole.

    But you have said one example that I can pass comment on.

    It seems as though you want to please your dad, make him proud and all that?

    Im not sure how to word it but it seems as though you come from a bit of a nervous disposition about it and thus seeking gratification, and no I do not mean that in a negative way. Its like when you are working and doing a job for someone, you want to know if you've done a good job. Same kinda thing.

    Maybe you just need to learn to be a shade more accepting of yourself buddy.
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    What you're feeling is completely normal, so try not to be too alarmed. A lot of people feel as though they are in some way responsible for things unrelated to themselves, myself included in that sometimes. This is not a mark of vanity, but from my experience one of low self esteem and paranoia.

    I would really recommend finding people in your life who you admire for their confidence and positivity and treating them as internal role models for yourself. Hopefully, this will help you realise it is possible not to feel this way.

    There are a lot of treatments for these feelings of guilt and responsibility, but a good starting place for feeling better is to think about how little you dwell upon the failings of others and, when you do, how insignificant these thoughts are. Use this exercise as evidence for how little other people think about you in a negative way.

    I hope this was relevant and helpful to you. X
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    People with a mental illness often focus on themselves too much. Anxiety can lead you to blame yourself for everything. It's important to take a step back to rationalise things.


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    (Original post by Anonynous)
    Everything is about you. If you feel it's not about you, make it about you. That's how you gain a reputation. Just make that reputation positive.
    alfalfalyf2k15
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    (Original post by Sam Walters)
    I dont know about all the other people you said that have said this to you so i cant pass comment as a whole.

    But you have said one example that I can pass comment on.

    It seems as though you want to please your dad, make him proud and all that?

    Im not sure how to word it but it seems as though you come from a bit of a nervous disposition about it and thus seeking gratification, and no I do not mean that in a negative way. Its like when you are working and doing a job for someone, you want to know if you've done a good job. Same kinda thing.

    Maybe you just need to learn to be a shade more accepting of yourself buddy.
    yeah I'm needy/people-pleasing/seeking validation from parental figures, you're right.

    Thing is I'm 22 so I'm at a developmental stage most people cross at around 16. 0_0

    (Original post by ecier)
    What you're feeling is completely normal, so try not to be too alarmed. A lot of people feel as though they are in some way responsible for things unrelated to themselves, myself included in that sometimes. This is not a mark of vanity, but from my experience one of low self esteem and paranoia.

    I would really recommend finding people in your life who you admire for their confidence and positivity and treating them as internal role models for yourself. Hopefully, this will help you realise it is possible not to feel this way.

    There are a lot of treatments for these feelings of guilt and responsibility, but a good starting place for feeling better is to think about how little you dwell upon the failings of others and, when you do, how insignificant these thoughts are. Use this exercise as evidence for how little other people think about you in a negative way.

    I hope this was relevant and helpful to you. X
    Thanks, you're right they're some of the reasons, but seems as though everyone else is a fully functioning human being, I can't treat myself the same way as them :/

    And also, it should be noted that it's not always me feeling inappropriately guilty…sometimes I think I AM just self-absorbed...

    (Original post by qwertyking)
    People with a mental illness often focus on themselves too much. Anxiety can lead you to blame yourself for everything. It's important to take a step back to rationalise things.


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    this is true
 
 
 
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