Join TSR now for chat about life, relationships, fashion and more…Sign up now

Dating a guy, he always pays. I feel bad Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've been out with a guy for about 5/6 dates now. I'm 22 and he's 23 but is quite mature for his age and has had a successful start to a career. Such a gentleman, pulling out chairs and doors, drops me off home etc. I know right now he's in between jobs because of some medical problems but he always pays. And right now, financially I'm not too bad. I always get out my purse and actually say let's just split it.

    I know I should just enjoy being "woo-ed" and it's every girls dream. But I just feel bad. I always opt for the cheapest thing in the menu or herbal teas. What shall I do? I've spoken to him and he just feels so strongly that women shouldn't pay in dates and has a really big ego. Thinks he's a mans man, which I love. But I just feel like I don't want to be a financial burden on him, I know he has his mortgage issues and stuff with his car.

    I've now thought, I'll cook for him and then it's win win. But what else can I do? Because we both love going out and trying new things. I know he does feel like he always wants to impress me with expensive restaurants and stuff, but I am kinda low maintenance.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    That's nice of you.

    Tbh from a guys point of view, he's an idiot if paying all the time is boosting his ego.

    I say cook for him, just once to have a change of scenery.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Haha he's a sucker if he's paying every date

    On a first date for me for example, if the girl turns out to not pay her half then I don't give them a second date.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    if he has more money than you and always wants to , i would not feel bad. maybe offer to split the bill?, if your allowed
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Infan2a)
    Haha he's a sucker if he's paying every date

    On a first date for me for example, if the girl turns out to not pay her half then I don't give them a second date.
    Personally I think if I asked her out then I should pay full but after that, she's gotta pay her half.

    Unless she asks me out then she's paying her full.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So what shall I do?
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So what shall I do?
    maybe persuade him that you dont like expensive food and you would rather just stay in and have home cooked stuff.
    Offline

    3
    Whenever I go on a date, I ALWAYS offer to pay whether that is first, second or third. I don't want the men I date thinking I'm just in it for the freebies, plus I like to show the man that I am equal, meaning I am not afraid to put my hand in my purse and pay my way.

    In your situation, yes, cook him a meal, change of scenery and it'll perhaps give you something more to talk about.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Maybe he is expecting payment in kind. :sexface:
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    Sounds like a simp to me. I think you should milk him for all he's worth.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    He sounds pretty insecure to me. Like he has something to prove. He should realise that just because you're a woman doesn't mean that you're not independent too
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    If you offer to pay, and he refuses, what more can you do? :indiff:

    Just try and repay him in more thoughtful ways maybe? Little presents now and then, cook him a romantic meal or surprise him with a cute date idea. It isn't all about the money
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Lol I read the title as 'he always prays' haha.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've spoken to him and he just feels so strongly that women shouldn't pay in dates and has a really big ego. Thinks he's a mans man, which I love.
    A red flag if ever I've seen one...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So what shall I do?
    Keep him happy.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Sounds beta to me

    He's only paying because he expects you to give up dat ass
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Don't feel bad. Milk his bank account.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    If it makes him feel better about himself, let him pay. As another user said, think of other ways to repay him. Like the dinner you suggested, or little gifts, ect. There isn't really any harm in letting him pay as he clearly has more to spend than you. So long as it doesn't make you feel deeply uncomfortable, I'd let it slide. Don't let it put a damper on your relationship If you do feel very annoyed with it, let him know so you can change it.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Meyrin)
    A red flag if ever I've seen one...
    Her date enjoys and supports traditional gender roles in romance and courting...how should we go about executing him?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    My boyfriend always wants to pay for things, but we only ever go to costa, so every now and then I just put a tenner in his wallet and hope he doesn't realise
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: December 27, 2014
Poll
If you won £30,000, which of these would you spend it on?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.