Join TSR now for chat about life, relationships, fashion and more…Sign up now

Dating a guy, he always pays. I feel bad Watch

    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    I think it's lovely when guys want to pay, or even insist on paying.

    But if once in a while I were to say "can I pay this one" or explained I felt uncomfortable with him paying every time then I'd expect him to understand, appreciate my willingness to contribute and pay for his meal for a change.

    If I guy insisted on being a gentleman and paying every time, I'd be thrilled. But I would not be thrilled if he had such traditional gender roles that meant he became a little sexist or controlling in actually not letting me pay because he didn't think it was "right" - I'd think he was a bit of an d*** who kind of needed to be brought forward a century and respect I wanted to buy something for him for a change and didn't need constant "looking after" financially!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by abbiemac)
    If you offer to pay, and he refuses, what more can you do? :indiff:

    Just try and repay him in more thoughtful ways maybe? Little presents now and then, cook him a romantic meal or surprise him with a cute date idea. It isn't all about the money
    (Original post by themoldypeaches)
    If it makes him feel better about himself, let him pay. As another user said, think of other ways to repay him. Like the dinner you suggested, or little gifts, ect. There isn't really any harm in letting him pay as he clearly has more to spend than you. So long as it doesn't make you feel deeply uncomfortable, I'd let it slide. Don't let it put a damper on your relationship If you do feel very annoyed with it, let him know so you can change it.



    I was going to buy him some gloves because he's always moaning about his hands being cold.

    And I'll be meeting him on Tuesday for another date. But we're not in a relationship just yet, it's just "courting" as someone put it. As I've just come out of a very messy long term (8 years) relationship. He's a lovely person, but I am not sure if this is going to turn into a relationship as of yet.

    Do you think I'd be leading him on by buying the gloves? (a friend of mine said that I was and it showed I liked him too much). I'm really new in the the whole dating scene
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Birkenhead)
    Her date enjoys and supports traditional gender roles in romance and courting...how should we go about executing him?
    We should start by castrating him because traditional gender roles no long apply to today's women; they earn just as much as we do and work similar careers (mostly).

    I have no sympathy for the guy in the OP because he's brought it on himself to be used for his money.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by College_Dropout)
    Maybe he is expecting payment in kind. :sexface:
    Are you joking? Or is there some level of truth in that?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Infan2a)
    We should start by castrating him because traditional gender roles no long apply to today's women; they earn just as much as we do and work similar careers (mostly).

    I have no sympathy for the guy in the OP because he's brought it on himself to be used for his money.
    How am I using him for his money? I want to help him.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How am I using him for his money? I want to help him.
    I wasn't saying you are, I'm just saying he's opening himself up to the chance to be used. It's decent that you have made this thread though.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: December 27, 2014
Poll
Which Fantasy Franchise is the best?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.