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pregnant, muslim, not married Watch

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    I agree

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    (Original post by themoldypeaches)
    You come here and tell her that she is not Muslim, which is a lie. If you have nothing conducive to offer up, I suggest you shut up.
    “The fornicatress and the fornicator, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allaah, if you believe in Allaah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment” [al-Noor 24:2]

    This is what Islam instructs in OP's case. So I think Op should stop giving a **** about religion and make the decision with a free mind. And if you think the bull**** you're spouting is conductive then your definition of the word is completely warped.
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    I think this has already been said but I'm just going to say it anyway. First of all it's against Islam to have an abortion so your parents clearly did not want you to have an abortion for religious reasons. It might be better for you to have the baby and then decide if you want to keep it or give it up for adoption. Also following on from what someone else said, what if you did have another abortion and then in the future you were told you couldn't have more kids? I'm assuming you want kids in the future (judging by this post) and by having another abortion you might risk having none as God works in mysterious ways.
    Another thing which is a bit of a rant is that there are so many people out there who can't have kids and the fact that you're considering a second abortion saddens me. I don't think you realise how many people would kill to be in your position. So maybe giving the baby up for adoption is a win - win situation?

    To end on a good note, I know someone who's 18 and muslim and she got pregnant before she was married. I don't know all the details but she's now happily married with a son and has her family's support so it is possible.
    I really hope you reach the right decision and just remember you're never alone no matter what you decide, we're all here to help, even if there are some idiots on this thread.
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    (Original post by Trupac)
    “The fornicatress and the fornicator, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allaah, if you believe in Allaah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment” [al-Noor 24:2]

    This is what Islam instructs in OP's case. So I think Op should stop giving a **** about religion and make the decision with a free mind. And if you think the bull**** you're spouting is conductive then your definition of the word is completely warped.
    We clearly live in a society that doesn't support such barbaric punishments. You are encouraging OP to leave Islam, which I honestly feel is the greater sin. You are not a scholar mate, you are just a bitter and ignorant nobody. Let's see what the Quran says about repentance:

    Allah Almighty says: "Say: 'O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Az-Zumar: 53) He Almighty also says: "Allah accepts the repentance of those who do evil in ignorance and repent soon afterwards; to them will Allah turn in mercy: For Allah is full of knowledge and wisdom." (An-Nisa’: 17)

    Also, in Surat Al-An`am, verse 54, He Almighty also says: "When those come to thee who believe in Our signs, Say: 'Peace be on you: Your Lord hath inscribed for Himself (the rule of) mercy: verily, if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented, and amend (his conduct), lo! He is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.”

    So that is clear enough, let's hear what an actual SHEIKHS have to say about a woman having pre-marital sex and a past abortion, why don't we:

    Sheikh M. S. Al-Munajjid, a prominent Saudi Muslim lecturer and author, states:

    “Such a woman has to repent for deliberately aborting her pregnancy after it had been created, because abortion in this case is Haram (unlawful). Once pregnancy is known, it has to be protected and it is Haram for the mother to harm it in any way, because it is a trust which Allah has placed in her womb, and it has rights. So it is not permitted to treat it badly or to abort it.

    The prominent Muslim scholar, Sheikh Al-Fawzan, said:

    If the soul has been breathed into the fetus and it has started to move, then the woman aborts it, then she is considered to have killed a soul and she is obliged to offer the Kaffarah, which is freeing a slave. If she cannot afford that, then she has to fast for two consecutive months and repent to Allah. That is, if the pregnancy is over four months, because in that case the soul has been breathed into it. So if she aborts it after that time, then she has to offer Kaffarah as we have mentioned. This is a serious matter and it is not permissible to take it lightly.”

    Source: http://www.islamawareness.net/Family..._fatwa004.html

    Really Trupac, just quit it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How can I calm down. I know it's my own fault this is happening. I am upset ill have to do a horrid horrid thing soon. And I may be punished for the rest of my life for it. ...

    Keep in mind that by doing that you will hinder chances of any future pregnancy
    Also, how old are you?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you. On one hand I do want child but I see problems etc on other. I'm very unsure. I need to think it out.
    I think Allah will always provide and you should put your trust in Allah, don't make decisions based on the future/lack of money etc. There is always a way. Circumstances change. Abortion is haram as you know and based off my knowledge, you've already committed a sin but you can always repent. A part of this would be to have the child and to raise the child as a muslim, look after it (be a mother) and you'll gain ajaar (reward) this way by looking after the life even though you've had sex before marriage.

    This is your decision, I feel sorry for you as you are in a bad situation but do not lose hope. You seem like a good person who hasn't made wise decisions in the past but the sun always rises and the next day is a new day. Please do talk to someone who could help you make a decision which will benefit you, whatever your choice.

    Edit: I don't understand your boyfriend's stance on this. What has he said? Does he want the baby or does he want you to have an abortion? Have you talked about this together properly? Will he support you if you keep it?
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    Your Muslim family should most probably object to you getting an abortion. I know its easy for me to say this as an outsider, but talk to them. They might be supportive.
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    (Original post by themoldypeaches)
    We clearly live in a society that doesn't support such barbaric punishments. You are encouraging OP to leave Islam, which I honestly feel is the greater sin. You are not a scholar mate, you are just a bitter and ignorant nobody.

    Really Trupac, just quit it.
    Point to the moon and the imbecile examines the finger...

    Cba to argue with you themoldypeaches. Peace:cool:
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    Some of the responses in this thread are truly appalling. You are not a slut and you are not a bad person. You didn't murder anyone, you had sex. I respect your beliefs and I respect your view on sex outside of marriage but what you have done does not make you a bad person. Don't put yourself down and don't let others do it either. Mistakes happen and nobody is perfect - if every mistake excluded a person from Islam, there would be no Muslims left on earth.

    My advice to you would be to talk to your partner about this. He is the only other person who is directly affected by this decision, you shouldn't have to deal with it alone and it's something you should both agree on. Think long and hard about your future together and weigh up the pro's and con's. I really do hope it all works out for you and your partner in the future.
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    (Original post by Anonymοοse)
    Some of the responses in this thread are truly appalling. You are not a slut and you are not a bad person. You didn't murder anyone, you had sex. I respect your beliefs and I respect your view on sex outside of marriage but what you have done does not make you a bad person. Don't put yourself down and don't let others do it either. Mistakes happen and nobody is perfect - if every mistake excluded a person from Islam, there would be no Muslims left on earth.

    My advice to you would be to talk to your partner about this. He is the only other person who is directly affected by this decision, you shouldn't have to deal with it alone and it's something you should both agree on. Think long and hard about your future together and weigh up the pro's and con's. I really do hope it all works out for you and your partner in the future.
    I am glad I am not the only one who is disgusted with the horrid responses, some people around here need to take a good hard look at themselves.
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    From what I think your relationship isn't going to work out with or without the baby unless you both escape together. Are his parents tolerant of you? Can you see yourself being with this guy for the rest of your life in terms of the sacrifice you may have to make for it? Do you want to raise a child as a single parent if it doesn't work out with him? What would the impact of this be on the child's life, will it be disowned by your and his family or accepted into both or one family?

    As said before you have done nothing wrong and you are not a worse person because of this, sex and pregnancies are natural. You will not be a worse person if you have an abortion, you are not killing a human. Abortion is fascinatingly common in this country if you look up the numbers. I know you are a Muslim so your views are different about abortion but please don't let your religion get in the way of making a good or bad decision because there are more important things to think about here --> Think about your relationship with your family, your partner, your health and most importantly the potential baby.

    I hope you come to make a good decision.
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    The OP has posted for advice, not abuse. Please keep replies civil.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hit me... beat me up. My family messed up.
    In that case if you do decide to try and make a life with your boyfriend I would go to the police and let them know what your brother has threatened to do. That way they can put measures in place to protect you from him.
    Personally I would advice you if it safe enough to keep the baby and make a go of it with your boyfriend. Otherwise you will never be free from all these constraints from your family/ religion. Chances at real happiness don't come along very often.
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    Get an abortion, I don't think the baby will be born in happy circumstances.
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    This is a iffy topic as in islam abortions are not allowed unless the mothers life is at risk or some sort of abnormalities but then theres the case that the baby is haraam? Allah will forgive you im sure if you are truly sorry for sinning and dont do it again but keep in mind that you cannot marry a virgin muslim anymore as the whole marriage will become haraam and any kids you have will become haraam this is also a message to the guys too dont think u can mess about and then get with a pure virgin girl at the end it dont work this way you can fool everyone cept for god. The final decision is up to you if you think you can support a child then carry on but I dont think you will be able to have a normal family life again regardless if you keep the baby.
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    Hun, firstly use some contraception, see now yet again you are faced with a awful decision to make as if you keep the baby you may have no family support so wilp probably end up being a single parent raising a child that may grow up confused wondering why he/she has no auntie’s, uncle’s or grandparents that play a active roll in his/her life. Or You could have the child and everything could work out in the end. Or you could abort once again and hopefully learn from your two previous hard decisions regarding pregnancy.


    As for your BF, if you do abort I think you should steer clear as I don’t think your sitution is what you want to be in for a third time. Hopefully though he will step up and be a decent father and BF and you two and your baby will be happy.
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    All I'm saying is abandoning your parents is one of the biggest sins in Islam. So don't run away with ur baby.

    Best thing to do is to tell your parents about ur situation even if it take a massive beating. It is inevitable, your parents will find out sooner or later which worst case scenario. With ur so called bf leave him instantly as u shouldn't be with a non Muslim in the first place.

    Don't even consider abortion as it equates to murder.

    U see why Islam prohibits zina (fornication) it is a root to all problems just like ur situation. Allah(swt) is all forgiving, thus fast and repent.

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Would like some advice please. I'm not going to write full story. I want some replies from muslims and non muslims

    I got pregnant exactly 2 years ago from my bf who is non muslim. My family found this out in the most awful way and we're forcing me to have abortion. I ran away to my bfs house. His parents were unsupportive and we had to leave after a night. We stayed in hotels..my mum eventually met me after few days and I finally agreed to have abortion. They also made it clear I was to cut all ties with him

    fast forward 2 years to now. We continues relationship...and it got sexual again. I found out a week ago I'm pregnant again. My family hate him especially because he's non muslim ..still waiting for a decent job and also because he never told then at the start he was seeing me. I work part time I do have some money but I can't live by myself and support myself. Im also mot 100 percent well. I booked myself for another abortion but I'm having doubts.. i don't know what the right thing to do. I can't tell my family. Me and bf were gonna go our separate ways before this because ultimately he wants to be loyal to his roman Catholic faith. But now things have changed. What is the best thing to do. Bearing in mind my family will slaughter me if they find this out ...
    I'm no expert on this but I would not like to think what it would do to me if I had a 2nd abortion.

    The way I see it is you're with the same guy, this has happened before, it didn't exactly change anything the first time and no-one can say it would definitely have been worse if you had kept the 1st child. You only live once and some things in life you can't get back.

    You are not the same person you were before and you can do anything you want with your life. There is no objective 'best' thing to do so don't try and look at it from that angle. Do what is best for you. Be selfish. Love yourself and what has happened to you. Life is as good as you want it to be. This is not a test seeing if you'll make a mistake or not.

    So my bias notwithstanding, I hope something I've said strikes a chord with you and is a help rather than a hindrance. Best of luck.
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    (Original post by Zeetingman)
    In my opinion go ahead and have the pregnancy life is just so short. You may never get this chance...allah forbid this happen to you but what if you were to die?
    2 babies you've killed it will be a life stain. I can't imagine an abortion happening to this child

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    Can you imagine the life this child will have if we are to go on what OP told us? She's said she's not well and it's highly likely her family will disown her which is an emotionally devastating thing to go through, let alone with a baby on the way. Also her relationship with the father is hardly stable either so it's possible she will end up with no support.

    (Original post by MissLalaxx)
    I wouldn't get an abortion. What if you can't have anymore children? Something terrible happened to a friend of mine and I wouldn't want the same to happen to you. Have you thought about possibly putting the baby up for adoption? This baby could be a blessing to you no matter what the odds seem like. There's no way you and your baby would suffer. You should have been more careful yes but there's no point crying over spilt milk. I would keep the child you never know things could change in 9 months. You can always ask for forgiveness. Do the right thing.
    Yes the baby could be a blessing but it could also be the start of a downward spiral. It's naive to say 'there's no way you and your baby would suffer' especially with what OP has said about her situation. It annoys me how little people think about the life the child will have when they're like no don't have an abortion.

    To the OP there's a lot for you to think about. Can you emotionally and practically cope with a baby? Do you want a baby? What are the chances you family/partner will stand by you?
    Maybe look back to your first abortion. Does it still play heavily on you mind? Could you go through that again?
    These are all questions you should ask yourself before you make your decision and ultimately it is your decision as you will have to live with whatever you decide. Hope this was of some help and goodluck with whatever you decide
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    The mod team have asked politely for the OP not to be subject to abuse for her situation when she's after advice. I'm sorry but it seems people are unable to do this, so I'm going to have to close this thread.
 
 
 
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