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    No one cares.
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    To summarise my above response to you OP:

    -Insecurity, social anxiety

    -Hostility to 'educated' snobs, pretentious, and arrogant people; made to feel intellectually inadequate as a child perhaps? [Ironically, OP likely to feel some hostility towards me as pretentious snob trying to psychoanalyse her ]

    -Believes actions speak louder than words

    -Power in work, compensates for feelings of inadequacy in social skills etc. Confidence is highest in academic ability but still feelings of insecurity

    -'Idiot savant' traits (genius in some ways, a bit lacking in others; I'm the same, Dyspraxic!)

    -Reasons for insecurity may be unconscious fears of abandonment awakened by trauma tracing back to passive-aggressive techniques such as the cold shoulder in response to defiance or independent thoughts by parents, parent-figures, authority figures and peers when younger (?)

    -Fears of own potential both due to low self-esteem/insecurity, but also death anxiety. Fulfilment of potential seen as a step towards one's own ego mortality (nothing left to live for).

    Therefore in a way you are self-sabotaging.


    tl;dr you need a confidence boost and to be a little less afraid to strut your stuff to people, this can be done without being overly arrogant or pretentious which are two traits that you seem to despise in people.

    But, you must continue to prove to yourself that you are capable of backing up your claims to confidence and your abilities for the sake of your mental health, or you will be caught in the web of the fantasy bond in protection from both fear of abandonment by peers (regarded as parents depriving you of your material needs by your subconscious) and death anxiety on a more existential level.


    I can't read minds but I can navigate feels.

    I have to say I found this thread really interesting! I hope my response helps you in some way

    Sessions are £10 by the hour, trust me this is a bargain!

    Disclaimer: I am not a certified psychiatrist or GP
    I've got a better summary:

    I know what I am saying is devoid of any meaning but I enjoy writing it.
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    (Original post by Tom78)
    No one cares.
    about what I just wrote or the OP? Seems harsh on the OP, they ask a question and want some help with why they might be that way, see if anyone can relate. Examination of the human psyche and all that.

    (Original post by xylas)
    I've got a better summary:

    I know what I am saying is devoid of any meaning but I enjoy writing it.
    yeah I do, I'm a bit of a narcissist/self-absorbed well done :roll eyes: but I also like to help people, hopefully OP will benefit from some of the stuff I suggest
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    (Original post by Pretty Girl)
    This quotes accurately describes how I feel around people. Although I said I hold back because I like it, I'm also afraid of trying to be 'brilliant'. I'm afraid of reaching my potential. I'm afraid of finding all my strengths and weaknesses. I believe that if I were to reach my potential, I'd lose my soul, my charm, and ultimately hope.

    I also refrain from being assertive in conversation, not because I want to appear dumb, but because I'm worried that my best effort to be assertive may not be good enough. I'm so afraid of this feeling. I'd much rather be 'dumb' with a feeling of potential I can use to feel good about myself. I think 'I could be like her if I tried' but I never do try.
    Pretty Girl is now Brave Girl
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    yeah I do, I'm a bit of a narcissist/self-absorbed well done :roll eyes: but I also like to help people, hopefully OP will benefit from some of the stuff I suggest
    Fair enough, I found your summary amusing that's all got nothing against your intentions
 
 
 
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