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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Maybe I'm being selfish, but I find it incredibly difficult to tell people one of my parents is deceased.


    By way of background, one of my parents died when I was 10. I'm in my twenties now. I don't really directly tell people my parent is dead, I sort of let them infer it from the fact that I don't mention my parent (well, I think that's what they probably infer).


    I'm not sure why I do this. I think it's partially the awkwardness of burdening people with the information, worrying they won't know how to react, and partially because I don't want to be pitied/ make people worry I'm looking for a substitute parent (mad, I know. But who said these things are rational!).


    Recently, somebody asked if I would be doing anything with my parent over the holidays. I was caught on the spot and gave a non-commital answer, but one which I think the person took as affirmation that I would. I'm just wondering is there any easy way out of or around this. Should I just say nothing and let the person think both my parents are alive? Or is there any way to backtrack. I am reasonably close to this person, and of necessity will be for the next while, so maybe is it better to just let things lie?
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    I'm sorry for your loss

    But you could just say something like "they're not around anymore"
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Maybe I'm being selfish, but I find it incredibly difficult to tell people one of my parents is deceased.


    By way of background, one of my parents died when I was 10. I'm in my twenties now. I don't really directly tell people my parent is dead, I sort of let them infer it from the fact that I don't mention my parent (well, I think that's what they probably infer).


    I'm not sure why I do this. I think it's partially the awkwardness of burdening people with the information, worrying they won't know how to react, and partially because I don't want to be pitied/ make people worry I'm looking for a substitute parent (mad, I know. But who said these things are rational!).


    Recently, somebody asked if I would be doing anything with my parent over the holidays. I was caught on the spot and gave a non-commital answer, but one which I think the person took as affirmation that I would. I'm just wondering is there any easy way out of or around this. Should I just say nothing and let the person think both my parents are alive? Or is there any way to backtrack. I am reasonably close to this person, and of necessity will be for the next while, so maybe is it better to just let things lie?
    I can relate. I normally just try and hint it, and if they keep asking then I'll tell them but it's not really their business anyway so don't feel like you have to tell them.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Oh I know it's nobody's business really, and in my opinion, given the nature of modern families (death/ divorce etc.), people should never really assume/ ask things about your family.

    But yeah, if somebody you know assumed something about you having a parent who is actually deceased, and you affirmed their assumption, should you or can you correct it? Like I said, it is an awkward one
 
 
 
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