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    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    I was just wondering recently after I read a story about someone who got HIV because their sexual partner didn't tell them. Would you ask/give your sexual partner STD results? Or just trust that they're telling the truth when they say they're clean? I wouldn't dream of having unprotected sex with someone even if I did use some other sort of birth control without knowing they were clean first.

    It is always important and essential that you make sure that your sexual partner is clean. You should always assume someone is HIV positive or has an STD, until you know otherwise. Remember, when you have sex with someone, you are not just having sex with them, but, you are also having sex with everyone they have had sex with. It is always important to make sure protected sex is practiced. A good idea would be to both go and get tested together, so that you both know each other's sexual health status and you both can put your trust in each other. People will often lie about their sexual health status, and it is becoming increasingly dangerous. As long as you practice safe sex and you get tested regularly with your sexual partner, you have nothing to worry about.
    • Community Assistant

    Community Assistant
    As I keep saying, everyone has their own place on the risk/reward scale.

    If someone says that they don't have any STIs, there are three possibilities:

    1. They don't, or

    2. They do, but they don't know it, or

    3. They do, and they think you would reject them if they were honest.

    Do you want to rely on it being #1? Only you know.

    If you want both of you to be checked before you have unprotected sex, that's great. However, you can't rely just on that, rather than on establishing a relationship where there's trust. Even if you demand to see certificates, a) most sexual health clinics don't issue them, b) they tell you their HIV status as of about a month ago, and c) you still have to trust that they're not doing stuff with other people without telling you.

    (If anyone ever wonders if there's prejudice against people with an STI, just look at the use of the word "clean" here... That prejudice is a big reason why #3 happens.)

    Yes. But there's no way of knowing if they're telling the truth or if they even know it.

    Before having unprotected sex with someone I would insist on us both getting tested, even if I've been with him for ages but had always used condoms before, for example.
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