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If you have a fat/not-lean face, should you be insecure about it? Watch

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    Just been ripped into for trying to explain the impact of body dysmorphia on young people LOL
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    Should you be insecure about any of your personal features? What does insecure even mean? You have to accept what you are but at the time that doesn't mean you have to pretend you're perfect.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Should you be insecure about any of your personal features? What does insecure even mean? You have to accept what you are but at the time that doesn't mean you have to pretend you're perfect.
    insecure means knowing that most people look down on you as being less attractive thus inferior and accepting that you will be treated as a second class human being which preys into your deeper fears about what makes you a worthy person.

    I was trying to help someone who had a preoccupation with their chubby face, got slated for it
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    example: I am around 154 lbs 6', bf% has increased lately from 14% back up to 16.5% apx. only likely to increase as I am forced to eat more chocolate. Should I be insecure about this?
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    insecure means knowing that most people look down on you as being less attractive thus inferior and accepting that you will be treated as a second class human being which preys into your deeper fears about what makes you a worthy person.

    I was trying to help someone who had a preoccupation with their chubby face, got slated for it
    If people will look down on you for something then you should accept that they will look down on you for something. To do otherwise is to distort reality because you'de rather live in your own happy fiction. Might as well become religious if you're going to do that.

    I don't think that's a very good definitely of insecurity however. Maybe it is more to do with internalising that notion from others as being inferior and making a self-fulfilling-prophecy of it while simultaneously being paranoid about being deemed such by others.

    By contrast then the secure person recognises their faults but has come to accept them and make the best of them. They don't fear others seeing their faults because they appreciate that everyone has faults - of course they still try to minimise the negative impact that their faults have on their own life.

    If one's worthiness can only come from the thoughts of others then one is going to have a tough life because others tend to be rude, prejudiced, selfish and dumb. We're meant to set a goal for ourselves in life that makes us happy and we are "worthy" insofar as we can achieve that goal and be happy. I don't see any reason why having others think highly of you in every possible way needs to be a necessary part of being happy.
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    example: I am around 154 lbs 6', bf% has increased lately from 14% back up to 16.5% apx. only likely to increase as I am forced to eat more chocolate. Should I be insecure about this?
    cut to 10% then why can't you do that and you'll get facial aesthetics of peace
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    It's not a matter of whether someone should feel insecure. Some people do, most people don't. Most people say you shouldn't feel insecure because it's your face, it's what you were born with, it's who you are. Those that do feel insecure don't necessarily have BDD. Body dysmorphia is way more extreme than mere insecurity. Your post in the other thread wasn't well thought out. You take it as something less extreme than it actually is.

    I started dealing with body dysmorphia when I was about 11 years old. I started dealing with anorexia (diagnosed as "EDNOS", but I think EDNOS is bs) at 16. Although I've lost a hell of a lot of weight, I still can't view my body as "normal" people do. When people tell me "Vixen, every time I see you you look thinner and thinner, it's like you're disappearing" I just think to myself "what the **** are you on about? My face looks like a ****ing beach ball, my waist looks like Homer Simpson's, and my stomach makes me look like I'm 9 months pregnant with twins!" (I don't say that to them. ) In reality my body fat percentage is about 23%, my weight is ~129lbs, I'm about 5'1. (My goal weight is about 115lbs.) My measurements at the moment are almost 35-29-35, which is a size 10/12 boobs and waist and a size 8/10's hips. When I look at the numbers I know I'm not as huge as I make out to be, but my mind can't help but see a morbidly obese cow when it sees what's in the mirror.

    In cases like mine (which are common amongst those who have eating disorders) I don't just hate my body and I'm not just insecure about it, I'm actually really disgusted by it. I constantly wear things like capes or huge cardigans when I go out because I'm terrified of people seeing my body. I refuse to be in family pictures because I just can't have people spread those around so others can see what a fat cow I am. For my birthday my sister made a poster filled with pictures of me and our family and I never looked at it since the moment she actually showed it to me because I don't know how to look at my face and my body without feeling the urge to leave the room. In the mornings, however, after I wake up and weigh or measure my body, I spent a good 5-10 minutes fixating on my body when I look in the mirror. I've become a recluse and a hermit because I feel like if I go outside or even out with my friends then people will see how fat I am and judge me because of that. One side of my mind tells me I'm being stupid, but the other side says "it might be stupid, but it's true". On Christmas I had cousins come over and these people have been really close to my family since before I was born, and they've seen me (and even bullied me) when I at my highest weight, yet still I was too afraid to show them my fat face even though this is the smallest I've ever been in my life. In front of them I wore a hoodie with the hood on, or I'd wear a snood on top of my hoodie. My house was boiling and I was sweating, but still I just couldn't show them my face. One of my cousins frequently says that I look "emaciated" (I don't) and her brother gets scared when he sees me because he can't believe that I've lost so much weight, but still, that isn't enough to change the way I view myself.

    This view is really, really similar to how people with BDD view themselves. Some might even be more extreme and self harm by cutting those parts of the body that they hate. I think that's called self-mutilation in the context of BDD, but I can't remember.

    In that post you made in the other thread you related BDD with body fat percentage and weight. If a person with a chubby face manages to lose the fat then they'll stop feeling so insecure. This is what happens with "normal" people. Those who actually suffer BDD won't stop feeling insecure, they won't stop feeling so chubby and they won't stop hating their faces (or whatever body part they fixate on). Things like body dysmorphia and eating disorders are rarely to do with weight, but rather some underlying issue. Weight is simply just the medium which they use to release their frustration/anger/sadness/whatever.
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    Some girls look cute with a chubby face, especially if they're just naturally fat anyway. You can be pretty with a fat face but you certainly can't be hot.
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    (Original post by Greg Jackson)
    cut to 10% then why can't you do that and you'll get facial aesthetics of peace
    Brb family and doctor monitoring signs of eauing disorder relapse :rolleyes
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    (Original post by Pretty Girl)
    Some girls look cute with a chubby face, especially if they're just naturally fat anyway. You can be pretty with a fat face but you certainly can't be hot.
    'But what about men'
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    (Original post by Vixen47)
    It's not a matter of whether someone should feel insecure. Some people do, most people don't. Most people say you shouldn't feel insecure because it's your face, it's what you were born with, it's who you are. Those that do feel insecure don't necessarily have BDD. Body dysmorphia is way more extreme than mere insecurity. Your post in the other thread wasn't well thought out. You take it as something less extreme than it actually is.

    I started dealing with body dysmorphia when I was about 11 years old. I started dealing with anorexia (diagnosed as "EDNOS", but I think EDNOS is bs) at 16. Although I've lost a hell of a lot of weight, I still can't view my body as "normal" people do. When people tell me "Vixen, every time I see you you look thinner and thinner, it's like you're disappearing" I just think to myself "what the **** are you on about? My face looks like a ****ing beach ball, my waist looks like Homer Simpson's, and my stomach makes me look like I'm 9 months pregnant with twins!" (I don't say that to them. ) In reality my body fat percentage is about 23%, my weight is ~129lbs, I'm about 5'1. (My goal weight is about 115lbs.) My measurements at the moment are almost 35-29-35, which is a size 10/12 boobs and waist and a size 8/10's hips. When I look at the numbers I know I'm not as huge as I make out to be, but my mind can't help but see a morbidly obese cow when it sees what's in the mirror.

    In cases like mine (which are common amongst those who have eating disorders) I don't just hate my body and I'm not just insecure about it, I'm actually really disgusted by it. I constantly wear things like capes or huge cardigans when I go out because I'm terrified of people seeing my body. I refuse to be in family pictures because I just can't have people spread those around so others can see what a fat cow I am. For my birthday my sister made a poster filled with pictures of me and our family and I never looked at it since the moment she actually showed it to me because I don't know how to look at my face and my body without feeling the urge to leave the room. In the mornings, however, after I wake up and weigh or measure my body, I spent a good 5-10 minutes fixating on my body when I look in the mirror. I've become a recluse and a hermit because I feel like if I go outside or even out with my friends then people will see how fat I am and judge me because of that. One side of my mind tells me I'm being stupid, but the other side says "it might be stupid, but it's true". On Christmas I had cousins come over and these people have been really close to my family since before I was born, and they've seen me (and even bullied me) when I at my highest weight, yet still I was too afraid to show them my fat face even though this is the smallest I've ever been in my life. In front of them I wore a hoodie with the hood on, or I'd wear a snood on top of my hoodie. My house was boiling and I was sweating, but still I just couldn't show them my face. One of my cousins frequently says that I look "emaciated" (I don't) and her brother gets scared when he sees me because he can't believe that I've lost so much weight, but still, that isn't enough to change the way I view myself.

    This view is really, really similar to how people with BDD view themselves. Some might even be more extreme and self harm by cutting those parts of the body that they hate. I think that's called self-mutilation in the context of BDD, but I can't remember.

    In that post you made in the other thread you related BDD with body fat percentage and weight. If a person with a chubby face manages to lose the fat then they'll stop feeling so insecure. This is what happens with "normal" people. Those who actually suffer BDD won't stop feeling insecure, they won't stop feeling so chubby and they won't stop hating their faces (or whatever body part they fixate on). Things like body dysmorphia and eating disorders are rarely to do with weight, but rather some underlying issue. Weight is simply just the medium which they use to release their frustration/anger/sadness/whatever.
    I have a...less extreme body dysmorphia :hugs:

    Do you feel you SHOULD stop being insecure about it? Or that the insecurity is a good thing?
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    If people will look down on you for something then you should accept that they will look down on you for something. To do otherwise is to distort reality because you'de rather live in your own happy fiction. Might as well become religious if you're going to do that.

    I don't think that's a very good definitely of insecurity however. Maybe it is more to do with internalising that notion from others as being inferior and making a self-fulfilling-prophecy of it while simultaneously being paranoid about being deemed such by others.

    By contrast then the secure person recognises their faults but has come to accept them and make the best of them. They don't fear others seeing their faults because they appreciate that everyone has faults - of course they still try to minimise the negative impact that their faults have on their own life.

    If one's worthiness can only come from the thoughts of others then one is going to have a tough life because others tend to be rude, prejudiced, selfish and dumb. We're meant to set a goal for ourselves in life that makes us happy and we are "worthy" insofar as we can achieve that goal and be happy. I don't see any reason why having others think highly of you in every possible way needs to be a necessary part of being happy.
    But what if you are dealing with people.who treat you as inferior no matter what. People do not appreciate everyone has faults, examole Guybrush Sheepgood just implied I am.at fault until I reach 10%. I do not even think 17% is a 'fault', it's average...
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    But what if you are dealing with people.who treat you as inferior no matter what. People do not appreciate everyone has faults, examole Guybrush Sheepgood just implied I am.at fault until I reach 10%. I do not even think 17% is a 'fault', it's average...
    **** them. If they're detrimenting your life with their stupid views you have two options:

    Deal with them and make them unable to affect your life or suck up to them and give in to their whimsical demands.
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    example: I am around 154 lbs 6', bf% has increased lately from 14% back up to 16.5% apx. only likely to increase as I am forced to eat more chocolate. Should I be insecure about this?

    Why are you making a thread about this? It's not going to help you feel more secure.
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    If you were at the gym, you shouldn't have time for feeling insecure.

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    (Original post by abbiemac)
    Why are you making a thread about this? It's not going to help you feel more secure.
    AFAIK people do not think that 17% at Christmas is fat

    I'm trying to establish general attitudes. I'm biased by having come from two opposite ends of the spectrum, the fitness community like Guybrush and my overweight mum. My mum thinks I'm still struggling with orthorexia whereas Guybrush thinks I'm beta skinny fat. I think I'm average tbqh, and overly insecure about it due to social anxiety
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    (Original post by Jebedee)
    If you were at the gym, you shouldn't have time for feeling insecure.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Brah I know you are redpill. I have seen your threads
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    AFAIK people do not think that 17% at Christmas is fat

    I'm trying to establish general attitudes. I'm biased by having come from two opposite ends of the spectrum, the fitness community like Guybrush and my overweight mum. My mum thinks I'm still struggling with orthorexia whereas Guybrush thinks I'm beta skinny fat. I think I'm average tbqh, and overly insecure about it due to social anxiety
    But you know that this thread won't help your security, if anything the trolls on here will probably just make it worse :/
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    (Original post by abbiemac)
    But you know that this thread won't help your security, if anything the trolls on here will probably just make it worse :/
    I made it for someone else getting worked up about a chubby face and getting told to cut

    then realised it was applicable to me

    That being said it also gets to me that my mum I believe wants me to gain weight when I am comfy at this weight. My insecurities are mostly not food related but would increase if had to gain.

    IDK if Guybrush is a troll, he said on.another thread I need therapy
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    I have a...less extreme body dysmorphia :hugs:

    Do you feel you SHOULD stop being insecure about it? Or that the insecurity is a good thing?
    Yes I should, no it's not a good thing. I think I should've stopped being insecure about it years ago. If it wasn't for this disorder I think I would've stopped being insecure years ago. I definitely wouldn't say the insecurity is a good thing. It's definitely humbling, and in that sense it is a good thing, but generally speaking I'd rather do without it.
 
 
 
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