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I said goodbye to my friends... suprisingly, I'm feeling lonely. Watch

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    Venting/give me advice thread. Please keep anon.

    A little while ago, I graduated University and decided to move into a place with my girlfriend. "How lovely" some of you may think, and it is in a bittersweet way. I appreciate her company and it's nice to have my own place.

    However, I had to make a few sacrifices, one sacrifice that is particularly bothering me is my friends.

    Now you see, the town which I currently live in is not my
    hometown. I did had a few friends here, but not to the level as my hometown. This should help build some context.

    I make friends easily with women. Thing is, I don't see them in a sexual light. I'm almost like "the nice guy" without the cringe worthy posts and the sense of entitlement to women just because I am nice to them. I literally see them as friends, and as good people.

    Problem is my girlfriend must think I'm some catch, because she'd make my life hell for talking to those girls. Like, seriously. She did think I was going to run off with them it got a little bit ridiculous.

    Then again, I got ridiculous for a bit as I would talk to them just as friends without telling my girlfriend. Sure she found out eventually and poop really did hit the fan. So I decides before we moved in together to just say goodbye to all my old friends, because it was too much hassle.

    Changed my phone number, deleted Facebook, Twitter was pruned and all other accounts gone. So I'm practically dead to my friends now. I told a few I was going, and they got angry so they hate me. I never had that many friends, but the ones I did have meant so much to me. I'd love to just chill and chat one day, catch up see how everyone's doing and what not. I miss them, I feel lonely.

    Now my happiness in being with my girlfriend is compromised. And I don't mean little rows, it's just constant bad moods all the time from us both. It's gotten to the point where I am considering taking my own death to just start over.

    I need to start again, I'm not getting any younger and before you know it I'll be old and lonely. I don't know what to do. Anyone got any advice?

    Thank you guys.
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    Nor very smart :| you shouldn't sacrifice something like this. But they don't hate you completely, you should be able to patch things up, they are your old friends after all.
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    (Original post by iama)
    Nor very smart :| you shouldn't sacrifice something like this. But they don't hate you completely, you should be able to patch things up, they are your old friends after all.
    But I am sure they wouldn't want to hear from me. Last thing I heard one was about to go University (my best friend), another was happy with another guy and probably wanted to get rid of me (childhood friend) and ones engaged and pregnant (she was a good laugh). All the rest of my friends probably never think about me.

    Regrets, I have many.
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    A relationship should not mean sacrifice, especially when it leads to isolation from your friendships. You can't just rely on her for companionship and she needs to get over her insecurities and understand this. Is it only your female friends she has problems with or the guys too?

    Tell her, nicely and calmly, that although you love being with her you miss all the benefits having a friendship group brings to your social life. It's not that she is inadequate, just that as a human there are social needs that can only be met by hanging around friends with whom you have no romantic feelings for.

    Your friends may feel like you've somewhat ditched them for your girlfriend and feel resentful or abandoned. Just apologise and explain why you felt you had to do what you did and it was nothing bad to do with them.

    I was in a similar situation with an ex not long ago OP. If you need to chat just PM! Xx


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    Bros before hoes.

    She sounds really insecure and that's not your fault, you are entitled to as many friends, regardless of gender, without her say in the matter.

    I personally, would either tell your girlfriend she needs to wise the **** up or you dump her. Sorry that sounds really harsh!
    But you need to tell her that it's not on, you need friends. Get back in contact with your friends, if they are your real friends, they won't mind.
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    (Original post by LadyEcliptic)
    Bros before hoes.
    Never take advice from someone who starts with this.
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    (Original post by cake face 96)
    Never take advice from someone who starts with this.
    You are definitely right.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Venting/give me advice thread. Please keep anon.

    A little while ago, I graduated University and decided to move into a place with my girlfriend. "How lovely" some of you may think, and it is in a bittersweet way. I appreciate her company and it's nice to have my own place.

    However, I had to make a few sacrifices, one sacrifice that is particularly bothering me is my friends.

    Now you see, the town which I currently live in is not my
    hometown. I did had a few friends here, but not to the level as my hometown. This should help build some context.

    I make friends easily with women. Thing is, I don't see them in a sexual light. I'm almost like "the nice guy" without the cringe worthy posts and the sense of entitlement to women just because I am nice to them. I literally see them as friends, and as good people.

    Problem is my girlfriend must think I'm some catch, because she'd make my life hell for talking to those girls. Like, seriously. She did think I was going to run off with them it got a little bit ridiculous.

    Then again, I got ridiculous for a bit as I would talk to them just as friends without telling my girlfriend. Sure she found out eventually and poop really did hit the fan. So I decides before we moved in together to just say goodbye to all my old friends, because it was too much hassle.

    Changed my phone number, deleted Facebook, Twitter was pruned and all other accounts gone. So I'm practically dead to my friends now. I told a few I was going, and they got angry so they hate me. I never had that many friends, but the ones I did have meant so much to me. I'd love to just chill and chat one day, catch up see how everyone's doing and what not. I miss them, I feel lonely.

    Now my happiness in being with my girlfriend is compromised. And I don't mean little rows, it's just constant bad moods all the time from us both. It's gotten to the point where I am considering taking my own death to just start over.

    I need to start again, I'm not getting any younger and before you know it I'll be old and lonely. I don't know what to do. Anyone got any advice?

    Thank you guys.
    You've sacrificed far too much to make your girlfriend happy! I bet she is still in touch with all her old friends ?


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    (Original post by HotCoco.)
    A relationship should not mean sacrifice, especially when it leads to isolation from your friendships. You can't just rely on her for companionship and she needs to get over her insecurities and understand this. Is it only your female friends she has problems with or the guys too?

    Tell her, nicely and calmly, that although you love being with her you miss all the benefits having a friendship group brings to your social life. It's not that she is inadequate, just that as a human there are social needs that can only be met by hanging around friends with whom you have no romantic feelings for.

    Your friends may feel like you've somewhat ditched them for your girlfriend and feel resentful or abandoned. Just apologise and explain why you felt you had to do what you did and it was nothing bad to do with them.

    I was in a similar situation with an ex not long ago OP. If you need to chat just PM! Xx


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    I wish I could PM, but quite a few people know me for the wrong reasons on here. I'm only how I am because of my crippling loneliness. Thank you for the advice, I feel like I want to see how they are and just chill. Main problem is with female friends, although rare occasions she has issues with male friends.



    (Original post by LadyEcliptic)
    x
    It's not as easy as that. I love her, but I also love them (not in the same way).

    She sounds really insecure and that's not your fault, you are entitled to as many friends, regardless of gender, without her say in the matter.

    I personally, would either tell your girlfriend she needs to wise the **** up or you dump her. Sorry that sounds really harsh!
    But you need to tell her that it's not on, you need friends. Get back in contact with your friends, if they are your real friends, they won't mind.[/QUOTE]
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    (Original post by cake face 96)
    Never take advice from someone who starts with this.
    Exactly

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Venting/give me advice thread. Please keep anon.

    A little while ago, I graduated University and decided to move into a place with my girlfriend. "How lovely" some of you may think, and it is in a bittersweet way. I appreciate her company and it's nice to have my own place.

    However, I had to make a few sacrifices, one sacrifice that is particularly bothering me is my friends.

    Now you see, the town which I currently live in is not my
    hometown. I did had a few friends here, but not to the level as my hometown. This should help build some context.

    I make friends easily with women. Thing is, I don't see them in a sexual light. I'm almost like "the nice guy" without the cringe worthy posts and the sense of entitlement to women just because I am nice to them. I literally see them as friends, and as good people.

    Problem is my girlfriend must think I'm some catch, because she'd make my life hell for talking to those girls. Like, seriously. She did think I was going to run off with them it got a little bit ridiculous.

    Then again, I got ridiculous for a bit as I would talk to them just as friends without telling my girlfriend. Sure she found out eventually and poop really did hit the fan. So I decides before we moved in together to just say goodbye to all my old friends, because it was too much hassle.

    Changed my phone number, deleted Facebook, Twitter was pruned and all other accounts gone. So I'm practically dead to my friends now. I told a few I was going, and they got angry so they hate me. I never had that many friends, but the ones I did have meant so much to me. I'd love to just chill and chat one day, catch up see how everyone's doing and what not. I miss them, I feel lonely.

    Now my happiness in being with my girlfriend is compromised. And I don't mean little rows, it's just constant bad moods all the time from us both. It's gotten to the point where I am considering taking my own death to just start over.

    I need to start again, I'm not getting any younger and before you know it I'll be old and lonely. I don't know what to do. Anyone got any advice?

    Thank you guys.
    You sacrificed all of your current friendships for just one possessive girl?
    Ouch. I hope you really like that one girl 'cus if not you just made a big mistake.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Venting/give me advice thread. Please keep anon.

    A little while ago, I graduated University and decided to move into a place with my girlfriend. "How lovely" some of you may think, and it is in a bittersweet way. I appreciate her company and it's nice to have my own place.

    However, I had to make a few sacrifices, one sacrifice that is particularly bothering me is my friends.

    Now you see, the town which I currently live in is not my
    hometown. I did had a few friends here, but not to the level as my hometown. This should help build some context.

    I make friends easily with women. Thing is, I don't see them in a sexual light. I'm almost like "the nice guy" without the cringe worthy posts and the sense of entitlement to women just because I am nice to them. I literally see them as friends, and as good people.

    Problem is my girlfriend must think I'm some catch, because she'd make my life hell for talking to those girls. Like, seriously. She did think I was going to run off with them it got a little bit ridiculous.

    Then again, I got ridiculous for a bit as I would talk to them just as friends without telling my girlfriend. Sure she found out eventually and poop really did hit the fan. So I decides before we moved in together to just say goodbye to all my old friends, because it was too much hassle.

    Changed my phone number, deleted Facebook, Twitter was pruned and all other accounts gone. So I'm practically dead to my friends now. I told a few I was going, and they got angry so they hate me. I never had that many friends, but the ones I did have meant so much to me. I'd love to just chill and chat one day, catch up see how everyone's doing and what not. I miss them, I feel lonely.

    Now my happiness in being with my girlfriend is compromised. And I don't mean little rows, it's just constant bad moods all the time from us both. It's gotten to the point where I am considering taking my own death to just start over.

    I need to start again, I'm not getting any younger and before you know it I'll be old and lonely. I don't know what to do. Anyone got any advice?

    Thank you guys.
    Your girlfriend sounds very possessive. You shouldn't have to give up your friendships for the sake of another relationship.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I wish I could PM, but quite a few people know me for the wrong reasons on here. I'm only how I am because of my crippling loneliness. Thank you for the advice, I feel like I want to see how they are and just chill. Main problem is with female friends, although rare occasions she has issues with male friends.





    It's not as easy as that. I love her, but I also love them (not in the same way).

    She sounds really insecure and that's not your fault, you are entitled to as many friends, regardless of gender, without her say in the matter.

    I personally, would either tell your girlfriend she needs to wise the **** up or you dump her. Sorry that sounds really harsh!
    But you need to tell her that it's not on, you need friends. Get back in contact with your friends, if they are your real friends, they won't mind.
    [/QUOTE]

    I know you love her, but it shouldn't be to the point were you feel you have to isolate yourself from other people just to satisfy her insecurities. You clearly aren't happy with the situation or the way your relationship with this girl is at the moment.

    Your friends will be there when that girl isn't, hence why I said bros before hoes. Regardless of what way I say it, I've experienced it and so have my friends, your friends will always be there even when you seem to push them away when you are in a relationship.

    i would feel pretty hard done by if I was ditched, but, you love this girl and it's understandable, and your friends should understand, and you need to reassure your girlfriend that nothing is happening or is going to happen with your other female friends because you are with her and not them, but you need to put your foot down.
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    Problem is, I know I'd have to lie to my girlfriend because she gets really angry
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    Be honest with yourself, is this relationship really worth it or will you ever be happy in it considering her behaviour?
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Be honest with yourself, is this relationship really worth it or will you ever be happy in it considering her behaviour?
    Now we're living together it's different. Plus we've been together years and my family really like her. It's not as simple as that.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Now we're living together it's different. Plus we've been together years and my family really like her. It's not as simple as that.
    Living together is like a test for some relationships, many fail. How your family feels about your girlfriend is irrelevant to your happiness. It really can be as simple as that. Your girlfriend is borderline emotionally abusive.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Venting/give me advice thread. Please keep anon.

    A little while ago, I graduated University and decided to move into a place with my girlfriend. "How lovely" some of you may think, and it is in a bittersweet way. I appreciate her company and it's nice to have my own place.

    However, I had to make a few sacrifices, one sacrifice that is particularly bothering me is my friends.

    Now you see, the town which I currently live in is not my
    hometown. I did had a few friends here, but not to the level as my hometown. This should help build some context.

    I make friends easily with women. Thing is, I don't see them in a sexual light. I'm almost like "the nice guy" without the cringe worthy posts and the sense of entitlement to women just because I am nice to them. I literally see them as friends, and as good people.

    Problem is my girlfriend must think I'm some catch, because she'd make my life hell for talking to those girls. Like, seriously. She did think I was going to run off with them it got a little bit ridiculous.

    Then again, I got ridiculous for a bit as I would talk to them just as friends without telling my girlfriend. Sure she found out eventually and poop really did hit the fan. So I decides before we moved in together to just say goodbye to all my old friends, because it was too much hassle.

    Changed my phone number, deleted Facebook, Twitter was pruned and all other accounts gone. So I'm practically dead to my friends now. I told a few I was going, and they got angry so they hate me. I never had that many friends, but the ones I did have meant so much to me. I'd love to just chill and chat one day, catch up see how everyone's doing and what not. I miss them, I feel lonely.

    Now my happiness in being with my girlfriend is compromised. And I don't mean little rows, it's just constant bad moods all the time from us both. It's gotten to the point where I am considering taking my own death to just start over.

    I need to start again, I'm not getting any younger and before you know it I'll be old and lonely. I don't know what to do. Anyone got any advice?

    Thank you guys.
    TBH if you're legitimately just 'that guy that gets on with women better' and it's innocent, you really should for your own sanity and happiness (and theirs) get with someone who can be comfortable with it.

    I fully understand it feels easier said than done but I can also fully understand how it feels to be with a woman who either values her own isolation beyond your own happiness or is so paranoid and jealous that you can't have any other social relations.

    It's ridiculous.


    But it's your life to live, only you can decide how to live it, and whom to live it with.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Living together is like a test for some relationships, many fail. How your family feels about your girlfriend is irrelevant to your happiness. It really can be as simple as that. Your girlfriend is borderline emotionally abusive.
    Yeah she sounds very manipulative & possessive.
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    Are you happy? What makes you happy? You really need to ask yourself that.

    Honestly you don't sound very happy at all, you really don't have to sacrifice your friends for the sake of your girlfriend unless you both agree that your friends are awful human being and you really don't want to be around them,that doesn't seem like the case here so that isn't really applicable to this situation. I suggest you spend some time processing your thoughts and decide what the your next move is,goodluck!
 
 
 
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