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I must have a rich boyfriend... Watch

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    (Original post by Clip)
    But as a rational person, consider the following:

    Assume you marry.

    Assume you marry someone of at least equal capabilty to yourself.

    Assume that this person has a high income - over £200,000 pa.

    Assume that the work you do is rewarding financially, but has drawbacks in terms of time, conditions, personalities.

    Assuming that you're a graduate, none of these are unreasonable, and is not an uncommon scenario.

    Given this, would you continue to work, or would you have a leisurely life if the male partner can adequately more than provide for the both of you?

    Given that you are rational.
    I was at the house of one of our senior partner the other day. He's been bossing 7 figures for years but his wife still works as a teacher.

    She says she'd get bored at home, that work isn't that stressful when you know you could jack it tomorrow and be fine and that she doesn't want to totally depend on him for even basic needs, just the extra stuff.
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    (Original post by Le Nombre)
    I was at the house of one of our senior partner the other day. He's been bossing 7 figures for years but his wife still works as a teacher.

    She says she'd get bored at home, that work isn't that stressful when you know you could jack it tomorrow and be fine and that she doesn't want to totally depend on him for even basic needs, just the extra stuff.
    There's a world of difference between working because it has a financial imperative, and working for fun on one's own terms.

    Let's be honest - their arrangement is a nonsense. If he jacked work in, they would be ruined overnight. She's not independent at all, she's working for pocket money and a figleaf of independence.
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    Personally, I don't think it does, there's more to a relationship than visiting places like Egypt, Tokyo, Copenhagen, and Sydney on a weekly basis; assuming that's what you meant by in the millions.

    Secondly, assuming you're still a teenager, or young adult, you won't find anyone rich, if anything you may find someone that is still financially supported by parents, or financially supported by a student loan. Also, chances are this rich person will have a disgusting personality.

    For me, how rich the person is doesn't matter whatsoever, provided the person has reasonable aspirations then that's fine.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    I would rather work (I could always get a different job to one that makes me miserable so long as I at least earn enough to support myself should I ever need to), even if my future partner had a **** tonne of cash I would still work because for starters I'd need to have something to do and feel like I am contributing. I also wouldn't want to RELY on my partner, if he bought me nice things great that's nice of him would be very grateful but I wouldn't be okay with choosing to rely on him because I think it is selfish to expect someone to foot the bill for you, regardless of whether they can do it easily or not.

    Anyway I'm not a very materialistic person, I don't need much money at all to be happy. I'd be content on 25k a year.
    That's what you say now. When you find out that £25k a year will basically prohibit you from all but the most marginal of family lives, I would suggest that your tune will change very quickly. I'd suggest that some time in the future, you'd be rather embarrassed that you used to think that £25k would make you happy.

    It's not about reliance, it's not about someone else paying for you. It's about being a rational person. Chances are you might not like your future job very much. Chances are you might not like either the people, the role, the location or maybe the clients/customers/consumers/end users. If you can be free of that, and spend time doing something you do enjoy with no significant impact on you standard of living - then it's not rational to carry on making yourself miserable to prove a point to yourself.
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    (Original post by Eveiebaby)
    If you just lie and your laurels and expect someone else to do the work for you and you are not keeping abreast of your own working skills.....

    a) you will be worthless in the workplace if you split and suddenly need to be self-sufficient
    b)two heads (incomes) are better than one
    c) having all that time free and just doing stupid self-indulgent ****? I would feel like a complete waste of space and a non-achieving bum. I have too much pride. Maybe quite a few people would think otherwise though.

    That's a rational argument for working in any case, no?
    Getting up at 6.30am and travelling three hours a day on the tube at significant expense. Leaving your children with a nanny. Spending time in pointless meetings with people you hate, fighting endless, meaningless office politics wars, working with other bodies staffed seemingly with liars and imbeciles to produce something for a clueless and ungrateful client.

    Or spending time at home playing with your baby, spending time with your friends, maybe taking a class and shopping for things to enrich your lifestyle.

    Who's rational?
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Does money matter in relationships?

    Not to me it doesn't. I never want to rely on a man for money, I'm a grown woman I can and should take care of myself and it is selfish and sexist for me to expect a man to pay for me purely on the basis that he has a penis.
    🙌🙌🙌

    Singing my sooong

    Gotta have your own success and be able to stand up financially by yourself if anything goes wrong.

    Plus its nice to have your own money so you can buy stuff for people instead of them always buying for you
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    I'd rather have my own money, kthx. I'm a poor student atm but still like to treat him when I can, I don't expect or want him to always be the one taking me out.
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    (Original post by zippity.doodah)
    sure, but acknowledge this:
    it's stupid for women to be expecting equal pay when they think, like this, that men in society, should earn more than them, or a lot more.

    Indeed. Women are encouraged by exogamy to marry up, like OP is clearly considering (hypothetically of course). And yet, women are being thrust into high paid jobs- so those women end up waiting for a millionaire. It's rare a woman would marry down, but if anyone wishes to prove me wrong, good luck!

    Ah... Feminsim will never cease to amuse me. It doesn't take human nature in to account whatsoever.
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    tbf I would never go out with anyone on benefits, I'm very snobby like that
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    (Original post by Marie_King)
    Into the millions. I'd say so.
    Well, good luck with that.

    If you're a 10/10 and suck a good ****, you'd be in with a shout.
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    (Original post by Marie_King)
    Does money matter in relationships? Life in the UK can be expensive and from a capitalist point would be beneficial to have a rich boyfriend?
    Of course money does matter in relationships. It is also one of the main reasons for break-ups. However, this does not mean that you need a rich boyfriend. It's a matter of whether or not you are willing to sacrifice for your significant other. If your boyfriend really likes you, I'm sure he would do whatever he can to make you happy regardless of how much money he has, and vice versa. Sure, it might not be split half and half, but one should have the responsibility to help one another. That's how you would be able to keep a relationship.
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    (Original post by Marie_King)
    I apologize , I should have outlined that this is all in 'a hypothetical situation'. And for my previous comment I was simply playing the devils advocate - again for debating purposes.
    :laugh:

    The code people usually use is "I'm asking for a friend".
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    (Original post by Marie_King)
    Does money matter in relationships? Life in the UK can be expensive and from a capitalist point would be beneficial to have a rich boyfriend?
    Are you a millionaire yourself? If so then it's fine looking for a millionaire boyfriend but if not, to some you may come across as a GD.
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    (Original post by PrincessAlexis)
    I don't need a rich boyfriend just someone who earns 200k a year
    Average is 25k a year and thats messed up due to high paying london jobs 50k+ in in rich realm and 200k is super rich you can buy a Lambo with that.

    My question to you is do you earn 200k yourself?
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    (Original post by Clip)
    That's not true at all. You only need to know where to go to find one, or which connections to make to get one.


    That might not work. Hard work does not guarantee a good job. A good job does not equal good money. None of these things guarantee breaks.

    You could be clever and hard working and never get close to a good job.
    Okay so what exactly equals good salary, what exactly equals good job, and how are these not correlated?
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    (Original post by Marie_King)
    Does money matter in relationships? Life in the UK can be expensive and from a capitalist point would be beneficial to have a rich boyfriend?
    It can seem like a lovely idea to have a rich b/f who will give you a fun, luxurious lifestyle. The trouble is, there aren't that many rich guys around who are also the sort of unselfish, genuine and committed guy you always end up wanting. For evidence, just watch MIC.
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    (Original post by Clip)
    There's a world of difference between working because it has a financial imperative, and working for fun on one's own terms.

    Let's be honest - their arrangement is a nonsense. If he jacked work in, they would be ruined overnight. She's not independent at all, she's working for pocket money and a figleaf of independence.
    That's harsh. Her pay may be small in comparison, but it's probably comforting to her to know that at least some money she has comes from her own efforts and is undeniably hers to do with as she wishes.

    The trouble with man money is that men usually use it to boss or dominate, even if only sneakily.
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    (Original post by Clip)
    There's a world of difference between working because it has a financial imperative, and working for fun on one's own terms.

    Let's be honest - their arrangement is a nonsense. If he jacked work in, they would be ruined overnight. She's not independent at all, she's working for pocket money and a figleaf of independence.
    I think what she meant is if he left tomorrow she could still afford somewhere to live, food for the kids etc. Their lifestyle would take a dramatic dive, but she wouldn't depend kn charity to survive.
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    I'd prefer that my partner was well off.

    I like to do things that cultured people do and they tend to be expensive. Atm, I go to such things rarely and the rest of the time I watch digital versions.

    I just find that poor people are often very different to me.

    (I am relatively poor)
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    (Original post by Clip)
    That's what you say now. When you find out that £25k a year will basically prohibit you from all but the most marginal of family lives, I would suggest that your tune will change very quickly. I'd suggest that some time in the future, you'd be rather embarrassed that you used to think that £25k would make you happy.

    It's not about reliance, it's not about someone else paying for you. It's about being a rational person. Chances are you might not like your future job very much. Chances are you might not like either the people, the role, the location or maybe the clients/customers/consumers/end users. If you can be free of that, and spend time doing something you do enjoy with no significant impact on you standard of living - then it's not rational to carry on making yourself miserable to prove a point to yourself.
    Any actual evidence that rationality has much connection to decision making? or are we all just supposed to be reading from the same gcse economics hymn sheet on that one.

    anyhoo it's not a dichotomy - some of us can work due to financial imperative and still find it enjoyable or psychologically rewarding, at least occasionally - perhaps provided we've not been too badly brainwashed by economists fairy tales about rationality.
 
 
 
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