Want to get Pregnant

I really, really want to get pregnant and have disscussed this with my boyfriend who seems estatic about the idea. The only problem is that i am only 20, in my second year at university and was supposed to be going on placement next year.

Just getting so confused. Cant decide whether i would rather have a family or a career more.

Any help would be appriated.

Reply 1

hixey101

dont do it!. christ, bad idea.

Reply 2

Apagg

13

At least wait until you have your degree and an idea of whether or not you want to work. It's hard to decide if you'd prefer family or career if you've never tried either, and obviously it's easier to try a career.
Also, get married before you get pregnant so it's harder for him to change his mind and leave. Not being cynical or anything, but...

Reply 3

Sam Beckett

7

Only one more year (and a bit) til you get your degree
Then take time out to have a baby.

I'd love babies (ten boys, no girls!) but I'm not having any til I have the money and a home to bring children up with/in.

Reply 4

Spig

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WAIT A FEW YRS!!!!!! plus, seriously i am worried abt your mind-state because it's not healthy to be young yet want a baby NOW.

Reply 5

Love Sheep

1

Have a life BEFORE you have your babies! Babies can wait, but once you have them, your life won't.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Thing is i'm doing a 5 year course and would rather not like to waste money if all i do is settle down to have children. My boyfriend and I dont want to get married as both our parents had a rather messy divorce and i would not like to put my children through what we had to go through.

Reply 7

hixey101

its a stupid idea tbh

Reply 8

kam

10

Wait a few years.
You've barely started your adult life.
Don't put aside your education.

Reply 9

tinkerbellejess

13

So you're in the second year of uni and want a baby?! How about you wait until you've finished? I'm surprised your bf hasn't tried to talk you out of what potentially is a very stupid idea!

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

He's 25 and doesnt want to be to old to have kids, which i agree. Women are just waiting o long to have kids sometimes these days.

Reply 11

lilac!!

15

noooo!!
u should wait a cupple of years, rushing into things is often a bad idea

Reply 12

Spig

Anonymous

Thing is i'm doing a 5 year course and would rather not like to waste money if all i do is settle down to have children. My boyfriend and I dont want to get married as both our parents had a rather messy divorce and i would not like to put my children through what we had to go through.

wouldn't you rather have a career first? you've got yeeeeeeeeears of fertility ahead of you :p:

plus, it's scary that you are also kind of anticipating a future divorce/break-up.

Reply 13

--

3

Spig

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WAIT A FEW YRS!!!!!! plus, seriously i am worried abt your mind-state because it's not healthy to be young yet want a baby NOW.

Plenty of 20 year olds decide to have children, its not like she's 13.

Reply 14

Spig

Anonymous

He's 25 and doesnt want to be to old to have kids, which i agree. Women are just waiting o long to have kids sometimes these days.

late 20's is ideal to me- but it varies from person to person. some women want to carve out a career for themselves first.

Reply 15

BeesKnees

16

I think you should really consider waiting until you've finished uni before you have any kids. You've done two years already... why stop now? My sister had a baby at 21 and is still going to uni (she's 23 now and in her last year) but it's very hard, she lost any social life she had before and it's all about the baby now. You might not want to imagine it happening now but what if you and your bf broke up? You'd be stuck with a baby and no career to fall back on. Just sit down and seriously think about how each choice might affect your life.

Reply 16

Zerforax

21

Some people want kids and then prefer to do part time education *shrugs*

Reply 17

Hel

Anonymous

Thing is i'm doing a 5 year course and would rather not like to waste money if all i do is settle down to have children. My boyfriend and I dont want to get married as both our parents had a rather messy divorce and i would not like to put my children through what we had to go through.

What about doing it just for the love of learning? Are you only doing your degree as the means to a career, or do you actually enjoy it?

A messy divorce is better than a messy break-up in which you have far less legal recourse if things go completely pear-shaped. While I don't think marriage is a necessity, if you want to have kids then it provides some extra stability.

Oh, and 20 is hardly "waiting too late"! As for his worries about being too old to have kids - men remain fertile for a LOT longer than women! And you aren't anywhere near the stopping point yet.

Reply 18

tinkerbellejess

13

But it's sch a waste to drop out when you're so far in to education! Especially as you'd still be left with the student debt you have already accumulated

Reply 19

BlackHawk

17

Well, you could be really selfish and just have a kid because you want one right now.

Or, you could wait until after your degree, making sure that your relationship with your boyfriend is 100% stable, that you have career prospects, a good paying job, money, time to have a child and give it a proper upbringing.

Why rush?

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