i have nothing bad going on in my life so it seems ridiculous to complain. that said, theres nothing good going on either. theres just nothing. nothing going on in my life. last christmas my friend asked me if i was happy in my life and i just didnt know what to say. it was like for the first time in my life i had realised that i wasnt happy. from then onwards i kept looking back at my life and realising that even when i was a child i was so anxious and scared all the time. ive never been happy with myself. i just carry on doing and feeling nothing. every day i just go to school, come home, do some homework, waste time doing something pointless, go to bed, worry myself to sleep. theres nothing i enjoy doing or find fun particularly, and if i ever feel happy briefly later on it seems so silly and insignificant. because of this its hard to motivate myself to keep going on and doing stuff. whats the point in carrying on if all thats going to happen is more of the same? i havent really talked to anyone about this before and i have no idea why i feel like this. is it normal to just feel to pointless? my life isnt bad so why do i feel like this? my life feels really weird and fake like a dream. sometimes the bad feelings spike, mainly due to exam stress. last year i went through a faze of having horrible disturbing dreams, and this year i have had some trouble sleeping, even periods of days when i didnt want to eat because i just felt sick. brushing my teeth made me gag. and next year im supposedly going to uni to study something that i used to kind of like but now cant even find enthusiasm for. how am i meant to motivate myself to work hard for it then? im just constantly angry and resentful for people who have more going on in their lives, who seem happy. even people who have bad stuff going on because at least people notice and talk to them about it. im sick of being a shoulder to cry on. i would never say this to any of my friends obviously as i dont want them to think im a horrible person, but every time one of my friends has something going on, good or bad, i just dont want to hear it. it makes me feel sick.
just feel kind of rubbish all the time Watch
- Thread Starter
- 29-12-2014 13:57
- 100 followers
- 21 badges
- 30-12-2014 10:01
I find that sharing feelings is something many people struggle to do. But it's the only way to get closer to your friends and maintain friendships. If you share your feelings and the outcome is not desirable, your friends weren't really friends in the first place.