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When is too soon to say 'I love you '? Watch

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    #1

    I've been really close friends with a guy for around 6 years, and there's always been a bit of jokey flirtation, but apart from one drunken kiss about 4 years ago nothing going has ever happened.

    About a week ago though, we ended up sleeping together, and since then it's like I've suddenly realised I've been in love with him for a long time. He told me he loved me a couple of days after this and I told him it back.

    I'm just a bit worried because every bit of advice everywhere is not to do this, but I feel like our situation is quite unique.

    We know so much about each other, I know all his bad qualities, and he knows mine, and we can still look past this.

    I just worry that he doesn't realise what his words really mean, as he hasnt had many relationships before. I have, and I have said those words far too easily, so I swore the next time I said them, I would really mean them.

    Tl;dr: can you love someone after being together for a week, even if you've been really close friends for 6 years?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been really close friends with a guy for around 6 years, and there's always been a bit of jokey flirtation, but apart from one drunken kiss about 4 years ago nothing going has ever happened.

    About a week ago though, we ended up sleeping together, and since then it's like I've suddenly realised I've been in love with him for a long time. He told me he loved me a couple of days after this and I told him it back.

    I'm just a bit worried because every bit of advice everywhere is not to do this, but I feel like our situation is quite unique.

    We know so much about each other, I know all his bad qualities, and he knows mine, and we can still look past this.

    I just worry that he doesn't realise what his words really mean, as he hasnt had many relationships before. I have, and I have said those words far too easily, so I swore the next time I said them, I would really mean them.

    Tl;dr: can you love someone after being together for a week, even if you've been really close friends for 6 years?
    I think that it's totally okay in your situation. It's not as though you just met him and it has come from nowhere, this is a long relationship with years of these feelings building (even if you didn't realise it).
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    i'd like to hijack this thread. What about if you have been seeing the girl for a bout two months and started dating about two weeks ago?

    When do people usually say the 3 magic words in a new relationship? (not being friends first)
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    You probably want to say it when you.... ya know.... actually love them?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i'd like to hijack this thread. What about if you have been seeing the girl for a bout two months and started dating about two weeks ago?

    When do people usually say the 3 magic words in a new relationship? (not being friends first)
    It's a very personal thing really, you will feel when it is the right time to say it. What is the right time for one person may be wrong for another.
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    (Original post by Kg1997)
    I think that it's totally okay in your situation. It's not as though you just met him and it has come from nowhere, this is a long relationship with years of these feelings building (even if you didn't realise it).
    Thanks, this is how I'm thinking. I really know him on a lot of levels, so it's not like a honeymoon period when we're both putting on a front.
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    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i'd like to hijack this thread. What about if you have been seeing the girl for a bout two months and started dating about two weeks ago?

    When do people usually say the 3 magic words in a new relationship? (not being friends first)
    Most advice I've read is at the three month mark, but to be honest, going by my past relationships, say it when you feel it, and when you know them well enough to know what their answer will be. (maybe I'm not the best person to be taking advice from though!)
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    (Original post by A5ko)
    You probably want to say it when you.... ya know.... actually love them?
    Yeah I feel like i do, but feelings can be deceiving, especially early in a relationship!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I feel like i do, but feelings can be deceiving, especially early in a relationship!
    You're not being deceived, you're simply not understand the actual feeling being felt.
    • #2
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    ye I think it's important also to know what your partner is feeling and what their reply would be. I've never had it not said back to me but i'd imagine it would be crushing, just the same as if they didn't mean it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i'd like to hijack this thread. What about if you have been seeing the girl for a bout two months and started dating about two weeks ago?

    When do people usually say the 3 magic words in a new relationship? (not being friends first)
    6 months to 1 year down the line?
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    6 years is plenty long enough to fall in love.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been really close friends with a guy for around 6 years, and there's always been a bit of jokey flirtation, but apart from one drunken kiss about 4 years ago nothing going has ever happened.

    About a week ago though, we ended up sleeping together, and since then it's like I've suddenly realised I've been in love with him for a long time. He told me he loved me a couple of days after this and I told him it back.

    I'm just a bit worried because every bit of advice everywhere is not to do this, but I feel like our situation is quite unique.

    We know so much about each other, I know all his bad qualities, and he knows mine, and we can still look past this.

    I just worry that he doesn't realise what his words really mean, as he hasnt had many relationships before. I have, and I have said those words far too easily, so I swore the next time I said them, I would really mean them.

    Tl;dr: can you love someone after being together for a week, even if you've been really close friends for 6 years?
    You can fall in love with someone without dating them, as you both clearly have. Therefore simply saying how you feel is totally fine- honest discussion of your feelings is a key part of a healthy relationship, and it seems genuine from what you've said.

    All the best with your relationship, it's always nice to read stories like yours
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    Given that we all probably have different definitions of love, there's no answer. It's only too soon if you honestly think it is in fact too soon - otherwise, you can't help how you can feel.
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    Whenever you feel ready
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    My husband said anything from 3 weeks
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    If you don't mean it then don't say it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been really close friends with a guy for around 6 years, and there's always been a bit of jokey flirtation, but apart from one drunken kiss about 4 years ago nothing going has ever happened.

    About a week ago though, we ended up sleeping together, and since then it's like I've suddenly realised I've been in love with him for a long time. He told me he loved me a couple of days after this and I told him it back.

    I'm just a bit worried because every bit of advice everywhere is not to do this, but I feel like our situation is quite unique.

    We know so much about each other, I know all his bad qualities, and he knows mine, and we can still look past this.

    I just worry that he doesn't realise what his words really mean, as he hasnt had many relationships before. I have, and I have said those words far too easily, so I swore the next time I said them, I would really mean them.

    Tl;dr: can you love someone after being together for a week, even if you've been really close friends for 6 years?
    I know a guy who would always make critical strikes and say I love you to girls - with or without meaning it - as he would fall and fall out of love every 3-4 months or so. Sometimes it made him look pathetic at first, but what usually happened is after few weeks the girls chased after him as some did believe he was actually in love with them; by that time he was saying it to another girl.

    The point is that 'I love you' is so powerful that it's gonna make some kind of long-term impression.

    I never said it to any girl before we had sex because I've learnt my lesson when I was 17-18. It's just not my style.
 
 
 
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